A True Home

inner-strength-shreenaamIt’s a time of year where we think about family. Yet in this dream scenario, family represents the things we lean on – to our own detriment. Said another way, sometimes we turn to the familiar when we are trying to avoid the unknown that awaits us. Of course, moving into the unknown is a development that we actually do want, but we also have fears about what we have to let go of to make room for, or accomodate, what will change. Our conscious awareness is the first step in navigating these transitions. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well, in my first dream it’s like I’m staying at some kind of a hotel, or motel, but the motel room is really large. And it has several bedrooms, like and a corridor, and a living room and stuff like that.

I think my dad is staying there in one room, and my sister’s somewhere there, too, and I’ve left the motel room to go somewhere. And an old boyfriend has picked me up to give me a ride and I’m kind of surprised to see him, but it’s almost like he’s apologetic for not being there for me in some way – but I’m unclear whether I really want him there or not.

But he gives me a ride and we seem to be talking about it all, because he’s kind of ambivalent about our being together or something. Then I go back to the motel room, and when I come back I seem to have a kitten. I’ve put the kitten down because it’s still at that age where it just plays and it’s not quite oriented yet. And I go to see my sister, and it feels like meanwhile the kitten multiplies and I’ve got three or four little kittens.

So now I realize that I’m not even sure they’re kind of housebroken yet, so even though I’ve put paper down on the floor it’s like my sister and I go to a backyard to a door that opens, or a window that opens out onto the back, and then there’s a large space there. But I see there’s even a dog there, so even though I bring my kitten out where the other kittens play a little bit, I feel like that’s too much for it. I don’t want it running off.

So I take it back inside and I’m thinking probably the best thing is to take it home, but then what about these other three kittens? I mean, do they belong to my sister? My dad’s around. I’m not sure what’s the whole situation with the kittens.

And I’ve gone into a bedroom, meanwhile, so I feel like the kitten needs to get to a place that would be its residence. Meanwhile I’ve gone into a bedroom and it feels like I’m starting to put on a nightgown. It’s a really kind of pretty turquoise nightgown and… I mean really light-colored turquoise. It’s kind of strange because it’s almost like if I have the top on, and these little bottoms that go with it, then suddenly when I reach down I’ll find the little peignoir or whatever you call it that goes on the outside of it – right around my feet – when I hadn’t even seen it before.

And then I pick that up to put it on, and then I notice the ex-boyfriend, that had given me the ride before, that he’s walking by the door and kind of looking in. And so he’s come back, and then there’s going to be like a major shift in the dream at this point.

John: So what you’re doing is you’re finding that you’re holding on to a particular way of looking at things, in terms of your attention, in terms of what is real. And that involves, for example, being able to keep close to you your sister and your dad and all of that. But that sort of thing has kept you from catching up to an even larger container, in terms of what it is that you are about in life.

And you come to find out, or come to know, that there is something that you have been feeling as missing for a long, long time, that is meant to be part of this much larger container. And there’s something that you’re feeling is missing is the key to you getting to a place that is really kind of your true home.

The way you’ve been hanging out you have surrounded yourself with things that you are able to lean upon, and be around, that creates a semblance of security and balance, but in the dream you’re finding out that there is a connection with something that is meant to open up inside of you, which is reflected by the old boyfriend, which is a touching of a value of an orientation. It’s a touching of an orientation that causes you to become more aware in life.

To become more aware in life by allowing something like that to be in your environment, sets off a chain reaction in which it multiples, where there’s more and more that’s naturally tied to this thread of being, or this way of allowing yourself to open up. And when you open up to embrace and take on things in this greater overall dynamic, you are coming to realize that instead of being okay hanging out in the hotel, that you have to take a step, or you have to shift to bringing things back into a cadence, or to a home, to a wholeness.

This is a type of dropping away kind of dream sensation in that how you have been placing your attention has been a kind of obliteration to what is able to open up. You have to let go of the energetic and mannerism, then what becomes revealed to you leads to a further unfolding of other parts and aspects that are forgotten, or amnesic and you don’t know how they came about, that are in your nature.

What you do know is that you have a sense of something that is from long ago that has been left behind, or that you have moved away from, or shielded yourself from coming to grips with, and that when you do come to grips with it, that’s when your orientation to the world magnifies and increases in terms of what you are able to take in, that belong to you. Technically everything belongs to you.

In your particular case it’s not a matter of letting go as much as it is a matter of opening up to a greater awareness that is at hand, that is at your disposal. In other words, as an energetic you’re meant and able to take on even more, and you cut yourself off from being able to take on even more when you settle for particulars and mannerisms as a way of being.

So what one has to wonder when one is doing that, and there is something that is estranged from your wholeness, what one has to wonder, because you have a sense of it, of something that is of the past, what one has to wonder is, what kind of defense mechanisms have you put into place to keep from allowing yourself to run into that? Because if you run into that, then your world changes.

And you do find yourself having to orient to something that isn’t as intangible anymore that you have to go more to the root of yourself, which is you have to take a responsibility in terms of the greater wholeness, or home, in terms of how it is that you are able and meant to be in terms of a responsibility.

When you hang out with that which is familiar, in which case your dad’s familiar and your sister’s familiar, and your family and orientation is familiar to you, when you hold onto that which is common you can tend to be taking steps to estrange yourself.

That process of being overly attentive in that way is taking steps that estranges yourself from finding the greater connectivity of yourself. What’s interesting is you kind of know what that connectivity is. You even know what will cause it to kind of come together, but you’re hiding it from yourself because if you entertain that, it’s going to cause a shift, or it’s going to cause you to have to reorient and realign to something that is different in terms of a greater sense of importance.

So there’s a fear in here. So, what is the fear? The thing is, is you’re not going to lose your dad. You are not going to lose your sister in terms of your connection. You can have that as well. You’re meant to have that as well, and that when you have a greater sense of home it’s not like you don’t carry them along to that as well.

It doesn’t have to be a particular way, and maintained in a particular way, as a means or defense means, to keep from running into or reacquainting yourself with that which has a larger dynamic about it, that is meant to open up for you. And the thing is, is that part is quite vaguely familiar to you. It’s not like it’s unconscious, but what unfolds out of that, where that takes you, leads to things that are pent up in the unconscious, that you have to take into account and be responsible for. I suppose, some part of you must know that, and that is why it’s a big gulp to do, or not do.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A True Home

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