A Herd Essence

Yoga CelestialThere are basically two directions to travel during a life. One is to take an earthly journey of personal fulfillment, whatever that may look like, with our wants and desires at the center of our decision-making processes. The second way is to move away from the personal, always toward the more universal, with the required letting go to being in service to something greater, to something, perhaps, that created us, and in line with the reasons why it created us. One is a path of separation, and one is a path toward unity. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well, I felt my dreams were crazy last night. It’s like I had woken up several times because you came to bed late, and right about the time you came to bed I was having a dream that was so crazy I wanted to throw it away.

The dream seemed to be that I went from where I was living, which felt like the Denver area, and I had traveled down to Mexico. And it felt like I was traveling there because I had some cattle herds there. And one cattle herd was a cattle herd that was a family herd, and the other cattle herd was one which some Mexican bandits were giving me, actually.

And mixed in with all of that is it felt like there were dinosaurs, and these dinosaurs you never knew if they were going to prey on the cattle or they actually were something that helped you. I think that was the point at which I kind of woke up because you came to bed.

But then, afterwards, the dream continued. And as the dream continued it felt like I was returning to Denver which was where I was from, having been gone a long time, to kind of consolidate the family in a way.

So when I come to town I see that there are some kids like playing on the playground, and they may be related, but they don’t really recognize me. And I kind of see them almost as a little bit adversarial, so I’m not calling my attention to them at first. And then I notice some other kids are kind of a rough group of kids, kind of playing to the left, and it’s like I kind of get acquainted with them first, just kind of get my way in.

And then I know that there’ll be some people in the family group that recognize me. But it feels like I’m coming back to the area to kind of pull the family holdings together, and the problem is that whoever has been running the family holdings it’s not someone that I really trust. And I have maybe a brother, but I feel like he’s been a bit unconscious in this whole process, so whatever he knows about the cattle herds and things that we have in Denver, I feel like he’s just been kind of distracted.

So I need to start doing some things to pull the holdings together, and it feels like my ace in the hole to a certain extent is that the people there in Denver don’t know about the cattle herds that I have that the bandits have given me in Mexico. They also don’t know about the dinosaurs.

And, like I said, all of that seemed pretty crazy to me. And then I had just another small dream that was inserted in the middle of it.

John: That’s what I mean about things are getting crazier, because my whole sense of things is also being affected in a fairly dramatic way. The image of Denver as a place is Denver is like the center of the country. It’s kind of like a focal point in which it is considered one of the hubs in which things emanate outwardly from that. That’s the symbolic imagery of what Denver represents, but in terms of a depth inside of yourself you have, in the center of yourself, that which is naturally given, or naturally there, and awake as an inner aliveness, an inner essence.

It’s hard to use the word aliveness in a world in which activity and momentum predominate. It’s almost like you have to make a quiet distinction to that being like an essence that is silent, and dormant, and you proceed into life, you go to the south, and in order to move away from this inner essence – that’s what you’re actually doing – and you awaken things that traumatize and terrorize your whole sensibility to what is your natural condition, and adopt instead things that come to pass as a result of indulgences in this blasphemous and illusionary way.

This reaches a point in which you can no longer accept that kind of unfoldment because it doesn’t do anything for you in terms of your connectivity to the wholeness that you call a kind of family herd essence. So when you come back into that, you’re now supporting something that is naturally real, and you find that there is a connectivity that is awakened, therein, from an echo of this quality that has been there all along.

In other words, the illusion is such that it’s almost as if you proceeded with this essence, and echo, the family connectivity to it all. It’s almost as if you came into life and you thought when you went to the self of things you created a reflective counter that’s illusionary to that actual essence. And it’s hard to let go of that. It’s easy to see that as being almost like a counter party image to the family herd, or inner essence, that you came into life with.

When you move away from the illusionary, when you come back from the journey that went away from God, or away from that treasure of your own beingness, when you come back you awaken again anew.

And that the journey to Mexico to a part of yourself that is unknown, because it is of an illusionary consequence in which the imagination, and all that there is behind it, create all kinds of phantom illusions that afflict and affect you. That falls away in a reawakening to that which pulls a wholeness of yourself back together, in terms of how you actually really are, and have always been, but found yourself in a loci in which the outer momentous conditions sent you askew into the journey, a journeying to the south, which is a journeying away from the wholeness and the oneness of life.

And so what you’re doing is you’re projecting an image of the return, which is like an in-breath because it’s like you were at the essence, almost as if something went into manifestation, just like into matter, but in an unconscious way, and then you return to find that consciousness that has always been there, is still there, and that the deviation is what was haywire.

And what that means in terms of how things relate to yourself is still kind of confusing because as you come back there also is still this mystique of your outer holdings, as if those outer holdings have value, yet when you have come back to the center of an overallness, it’s like you can’t find those outer holdings. It’s like there’s a memory of that. Again it’s more of those illusionary delusionary fog type things.

In other words, it’s almost as if when you came into life there was a spark of something that was already latent inside of you, that became the means and the mechanism upon which you could be fueled to make the journey, even though the journey you made was into a moving away from this essence. And so you set up a flip side, a reflection, in the outer counterbalanced to this inner essence, and then you come back to this inner essence and let go of the illusionary mannerism. That’s why a teacher can look at a student, can see the life that they’re living is a counterbalance to something deeper within that is the essence of their being in its pure state. 

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