Lifting the Stigma

airgarten13An impending marriage in a dream speaks of a union that needs to be completed. But the dream is speaking of deeper levels, beyond events in waking life. So the union is an internal one, but we still need to feel worthy and accepted, inner part to inner part. In these images we see the dance of letting go that is needed for two inner aspects to complete their union in a way that is free and natural.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So the dream I had this morning, when it started out it’s like I have a guy I’ve become engaged to and his name is something like David Cook. His family doesn’t like me. He takes me to meet his mom and dad and I can tell they don’t really like me, and they don’t like him getting engaged.

In that same early part of the dream it feels like I wander off somewhere and I’ve gone into something like an antique shop and there’s an old lady there. She has some things in this antique shop including this one kind of collage painting. It’s not quite a painting. It’s like a combination of a painting and collage, and it’s kind of interesting and ugly, both.

Well, then, I leave that, and I find that I’ve flown away to another country. It feels like Africa somewhere. I’m in a very nice city, and I’m going to stay in a nice hotel with a couple, it feels like aunts or female relatives, and a guy I really like, it feels like you, and we’re staying together. And because we’ve been out roughing it up, when we first get to this hotel and it feels like one of the bellmen comes actually and gets up on the bed and pulls a whisker off my chin – because I hadn’t been able to pluck it because we’ve been out in the wild roughing it.

It’s almost like a hotel suite, like we’ve got a common living area, separate bedrooms, and the women that I know in the family are in another area. Well, I get up and I walk around in the neighborhood by myself. I see there’s kind of almost a dangerous area right next door, and there’s some kids walking into it. I wandered in there and it’s kind of dark, but they seem nice. I just was a little intimidated because the area looked dangerous.

I’m starting to go back to where you and I and my aunts are, and I suddenly realize that the boyfriend’s mother and maybe another relative are in town and they’re coming over. So they’ll see that I’m actually with you, which means I’m going to have to tell him the engagement’s off. And, at the same time, I’m just struggling because I can’t remember their name. I don’t even know if I can remember his name and I have to introduce him to these female relatives and I don’t want to feel like I’m so callous I can’t even remember their names, you know. And I’m struggling and struggling and struggling and finally I remember like his name is something like David Cook, so their name must be Cook.

So once they come over I realize they hadn’t been happy with the relationship anyway, so once they see that I’m with you or whoever it was I was with that I’ll still have to tell him, but that’ll be handled.

And then, in the middle of this trip, I seem to suddenly fly back to the States. I go into the antique shop. It felt like the older woman that I had seen before had died. In the antique shop I run into my cousin and he’s kind of curious because he’s traveled in Africa, too, so he knows what it was like where I went.

And I almost knock over this collage and painting that that woman had from before. It’s really kind of ugly so I’m wondering if I should buy it or not, but I decide not to because I notice that the new owner of this antique shop is looking at me because he saw I had an interest in it, but I decide not to buy it.

And then I’m flying back the next day to where I was in Africa, or whatever the foreign country was.

John: The first part, the very, very beginning, is where you put a stigma on yourself in which there’s something that’s not approved. And that something that’s not approved causes a repression to occur that you fight, by way of trying to get out of the equation, but you still carry the quality of whatever it was that was taken in and deemed unapprovable.

So you go into an antique shop, so in the antique shop you discover something that inflects, that inflects. In other words, because of some sort of rejection, or some stigma, that was placed on you, you have taken and now repressed, in your being, as a consequence of that. But just because it’s repressed doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t cause you to come across something that stands out, so when you go into the antique shop enough of that surfaces so that you see this old collage that’s got all these paintings or colors and stuff on it, but you don’t know what to make out of it necessarily because you have it repressed.

So then you’re able to fly off, or you’re able to be removed from that which is suppressing you. In other words, all you know is you can fly or you suddenly had to get out of the scenario you’re currently in.

And so that’s where something opens up inside of you. So, what it means is it’s like you’ve extricated yourself. See, this is a multistep dream. The first step has to do with the stigma that’s placed on you in some sort of rejective mode, that sets the tone to how it is that you can be.

And that stigma continues, but like all stigmas that cause you to go into a denial state or whatever, or into a reclusive state, all these stigmas have something that you can see through the stigma. You can’t see through the stigma, but the stigma is visible in terms of out of conduct. And so it leaks, in other words, stuff that’s suppressed. I mean you’re still doing a good job of keeping it as the stigma that is covering up something that’s important, but there’s leakage when you come into an antique shop and you see this collage that’s just a bunch of dirty old paints and whatnot, but it’s interesting to you. And just enough of that has come out so that you now know that you need to be oriented in a different way.

You need to break free of whatever it is that’s bouncing around inside of you in a capacity that’s repressed. You don’t know what it is, you just break free, you just break the stigma. How do you put words on how you break the stigma? Well you broke it, and the next thing you know you’re in another country. And you’re now able to live and be in this new state the way you’re meant to be. And whatever it is that gets in the way is removable, can be plucked out.

Jeane: That was when I went outside. I kind of saw a rough part of the neighborhood, and then I realized that the family, of the guy, that didn’t like me were going to be visiting and it’s like I couldn’t even remember their name at first.

John: So what this means is the stigma has suddenly become empty. So now you could go up and relate to that which is peculiar, where the stigma is, and it just has no effect on you whatsoever. You can’t even remember why it was that it was such a peculiarity, or problem, for you.

So you go back to the antique shop, and now you recognize the value of what it is that’s opened up inside. And now you can take this to wherever you need to take this. You know, you no longer sit in the mystique area where things flicker because of the stigma. You’re now able to go where it’s free. And the stigma that has followed you to Africa is to the dark place of yourself, is also no longer an issue. So you don’t go back into your old way. You go into this whole new dynamic in which the stigma that’s lifted.

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