Is there any experience more common, or more shared by people, than doing things that we know are not good for us? And, of course, this is something we do on many levels, from eating a chocolate bar when we want to be on a diet, to spending time with people who upset us, to more life-risking behavior. Yet it can be just as true when it comes to our spiritual life and beliefs: we can still allow simple personal involvements to pull us away from our connected state. The problem with that is, higher connections need consistency, and constancy, from us, to know that we are safe for them. It is our actions and intentions that woo them, but they can’t stay with us if we are unreliable. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: Well, in my dreams, I had to put it all together because the bits and pieces went somewhere, but there was still something so much more. And so even this meditation dream and the bits and piece is part of a much larger component of an unfoldment.
In the meditation dream, I am noticing that the identifications I have towards a myriad of outer things is actually an unnatural condition. In other words, it’s not natural to have all of the orientation to the outer, because my natural state is one of silence and stillness. That’s what the God essence is all about.
However, my being is on tilt. I beat up on myself senselessly over and over again with outer indulgences. You would think that I would eventually get it: that in order to feel whole one needs to be still, that my deviations are taking away from the experience of who I really am.
I know deep within from the stillness oneness that is natural to my being that everywhere I look, and everyone I see, is carrying a suffering when they are not able, or capable, of properly listening to their heart – and instead are weighed down by outer conditions. The thing is we all know better, everyone knows better. It’s just a matter of how much the outer has control over you, but we all know better.
We all recognize inner beauty when we see it. We all know the joy of being able to be innocent, where a letting go stillness naturally reside. Well, we may know that but being able to get out of the complexity is another thing, so consequently I am always cheering for others to break free and relate naturally to their true condition, which is an inner condition, because deep down we know that this is the fiber of our inner beingness.
Nevertheless it pains me to see people suffer, just like it pains me to suffer with them. Because that’s what happens: when I see them suffer, I suffer with them. Some part of me always does that. I mean that’s how the silence and the stillness works. That’s where the inner connection works. That’s why it’s good to keep a certain separation, or denseness, so to speak, that’s the positive way of trying to flip the stupidity into a meaningfulness, because when it’s like that then you don’t necessarily identify so closely to kind of an amnesia pain that predominates.
So within my heart… and, of course, I call it an amnesic pain because on the other side of it is the greater wholeness. Well, within my heart there is compassion and admiration for the inner bravador, in other words, that’s something which is trying to wake up. And when I am touched when something bleeds through the projections and, in doing so, sees our condition as one of connection. If not for this inner bleed through bravador, I would not be able to share a beingness with others. Instead I would spiral out of control and go irreparably insane. So to put it in other words, control is a holding on to a deviation, and oneness exists when the wayward projections we each manufacture fall away.
So the meaning is, that in my meditation dream, as I let go of the mind ego relatability, I find a wholeness within. As I come in from the outer malaise, even if just for a moment, there is a heartfelt quality of healing. The fact that I go right back and purposely pick up the mind ego sense orientation, which pains the heart and veils the soul from its unlimited natural nature, is bizarre, and I am seeing it to be so as I keep doing it.
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