Dreaming into Knowing

You know you’re having a bad day when you have to leave Paris in such a hurry that you can’t properly pack, and you don’t have the right money to get on the train, and that will cause you to miss your plane. Such is the unfolding of this dream, and what it is showing the dreamer is that the more she tries to steer things, or have a personalized interest in the way events unfold, the further and further she gets from where she is trying to go. And that is the way of a spiritual path, in that as long as we hold tight to our fixed ideas of life, the more we slip-slide away from our destiny. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So, in my second dream, I seem to have traveled somewhere, I even think of as being in Paris, although I have someone like my sister with me at one point, and another point you’re around.

But at first I go to stay at a building, and later in the dream I realize this building is like an apartment building where I’ve stayed in the past, but it’s gone through many different remodels that the people that run it don’t even remember me.

We’ve gotten an apartment just for a certain length of time because I’m not sure how long I need to be there. Then there’s a point at which I realize we’re going to leave and we’ll still have like two weeks rent that we won’t have used up, but we’re just going to have to leave fairly abruptly.

And, before I do that, I go down and I see where the mailboxes are, and I open up the mailboxes even though, in a sense, I’m not really living there. I know how to open up the mailboxes, and there’s a mailbox there that there’s actually a few pieces of mail in it, and it’s like postcards with drawings on them of like paintings that my mother would have really related to from China. And it just gives me a sense of my mother’s energy.

Then I’ve gone out with you, and when we realize we have to be back, and I had grabbed my suitcase, I had gone to a second place and it’s like I had two places in the dream where I stayed for some reason, and I had thrown some stuff in a suitcase. I hadn’t really quite gotten all of it so I’m a little awkward with how I’m carrying things, and we’re out in an area where we have to get back to the central part of Paris. And there’s a train that’s going to be coming.

And we go over and there’s kind of a border or security guard that’s a little tricky. We have to have francs to go up and down this stair area to get in to where the trains are and we don’t have francs, so we’re getting change. And you get through ahead of me, and we get up and we have to walk across a field area, and we go down to where the trains are, but because I don’t have the francs and stuff to go up this one area, you get ahead of me. And I get delayed, so you go ahead and leave.

And some stuff has fallen out of my suitcase and I’m having to stop and put that in. Then I find that I’ve stepped outside the area that the franc covered, so now I’m going to have to go back down the stairway and try to find a franc and get past the guard again. And some people are trying to help me, but we look in my purse and we come up with all kinds of coins, everything but a franc, of course.

And I finally decide: to heck with all this, I’m just going to walk up there where the trains are even if I don’t have the right change or anything. And I walk up and I go across the field, and I’m kind of running to catch a train and the train goes right by. It wasn’t really the right train.

Then I have to wait for the next train, but I realize by this time you will have gone to the airport and I don’t even know whether I can get there in time to catch the plane. Also looked at my luggage and realized there was a second bag I hadn’t packed so I don’t have everything with me and that means I may just, you know, leave it. I’m just aware of it, because something that I didn’t pack was something like an iron, or would’ve been awkward to try to get anything in the one bag I’ve got.

It’s like now I just need to slow down and see if I can get myself on the next train that comes by. That’s when I wake up.

John: So that whole dream is about struggling with things coming into the heart, you know having to sort things out – and that throws you around. And whether that triggers emotion, or anxiety, or panic, or just what all it triggers, it’s all in relationship to trying to contend with things in terms of how it is that your heart is having to sort out.

And you almost get it right, right off the bat, in the very beginning, because you go to a foreign place, like Paris, and you’re almost comfortable there. But then you realize, no, you’ve got to do this or you’ve got to do that, and then that whole thing starts, and once it starts the whole dream just keeps on going with little things picking at you, and picking at you, and picking at you.

And so as you were describing this, I started to suddenly realize why it is that certain people can have this greater natural knowingness that others don’t have, and that’s because, even in reading, when you’re reading you’re trying to take something and you’re trying to bring it inside of yourself and digest and process what that is saying to you, what that means to you, how that affects you, in some sort of inner way.

But when you were describing that, because you kept continually pulling something to yourself and then sorting it out that way, I kept thinking, there’s the opposite effect that goes into the depth of everything that exists – and there’s already the natural knowingness, and you just don’t necessarily know it. And you change this, and you have to adjust to that, all in relationship to how something is feeling inside, or sorting itself, or shifting around in terms of impacts that are hitting you inside.

If you were able to take an energetic overallness that extends out, and not have to deal with any of the personal mannerisms and motifs of having to sort something out. Because the sorting out that you’re trying to do is in relationship to your perceptions, and the way your mind is, and you never can ever know the big picture. And to know the big picture you have to let go of these mannerisms, this inner kind of doingness where you’re bringing something in to look at, and you just have to exude.

And you exude in a way that’s in the overall, which means that you don’t hold a quality of something that’s distinguished, in some fashion, so that you have to take and constantly sort out in relationship to that, so that the indulgence isn’t such that you’re noodled or lost in the predilections of the heart having to try to sort something out. You don’t sort that way, anymore, and you shift then to the greater overallness, or the soul consciousness of the whole of all of life. And when you do you have the inspiration and the sight of things – and you don’t have things affecting you, then.

This is still like a drill down of the theme of last night that, in a way, requires a person to have to sit with it because they’re inclined, conceptually, to think that they carry a responsibility that has to do with the heart. And this idea is propounded by all kinds of statements, that are even principles, that are misconstrued: like, watch your step, guard your heart, put people into your heart. And those all point to something that keeps you trying to sort something out, keeps you trying to pull something in, as opposed to you being the overallness intertwined with everything. And to really truly catch up with that intertwining, you have to disappear.

You don’t get caught trying to deal with everything that vies for the heart, sorting that out. Instead, you recognize the higher self, the higher quality of your self, intertwined in everything.

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