Finding the Heart

heart-esHumans are diverse beings and it’s good to acknowledge and celebrate that. And there are many paths and religious teachings for people to follow, not because there are many gods and many possibilities, but because it is useful to have many paths to the same destination – precisely because we are all so different. Each of us can find a path that works with our sensibilities, and can give us our best opportunity for success. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The difference between your dream and my dream is, I’m trying to figure out the correlation between the out-breath and the in-breath – as if there has to be one – because you don’t just have that shift to somewhere else completely. You don’t just have that. That isn’t the end all, be all.

There is something more than just that, or so it seems, or otherwise this is a bad joke. It does seem that the flip side, or the mirror image, just like there’s light and there’s sound, there does seem to be something correlated to sound to the light, just quite how that works is this huge mystery, how the wavelengths come together.

I suppose, most people start off on a spiritual path complaining, and what they complain about when they reach a certain sense of awareness is that there is something more, and that they’re caught in not being able to access that because they’re mired in manifestation. And so you have all these religions of the world that all take and go on their leap-of-faith approach to something on the other side, and sit and try to hold the line, or find an acuity or something, with some inner depth of themselves, as they fumble and struggle through life.

And so it really threw me into a mystery. The mystery it threw me into is trying to determine the correspondence between the out-breath and the in-breath, as if there has to be a correspondence in terms of a cycle of creation. You can’t realize something in just a totally transcendent approach, and you can’t realize something in terms of a total noodling down here just in the physical. It’s as if they work in a Yin Yang way. At least that’s kind of the sense that the dream started to throw at me because it pointed out that there were these two ways, and I started to look at these two ways that exist.

So, in the meditation dream, I am shown that when you persevere like in a particular way, like through the meditation and whatnot, and you’re actually letting go and you’re going somewhere, finding some sort of otherness of yourself as a depth within, that current way of going will take you deeper and deeper. It’s the way that you kind of transcend, energetically, with karmic barriers and veils that hold a person back. And it’s the way one’s identifications, which veil, fall away. And it’s the way you become empty.

Like in my meditation dream I was suddenly coming back from a place that was so far inside that everything around me was lifted, in other words, it was like a total in-breath or something. But then when you come back down with the out-breath, it’s like there’s another way, because you’re coming back into life. And so I took it as them describing that, as if that is another way. Or maybe it’s just part of describing the out-breath effect, because it doesn’t follow this kind of thread. It tends to defy this deeper and deeper within design, and this path is a defiant path that challenges everything constantly, and one is honed in this approach by the way you let go in the School of Hard Knocks.

By School of Hard Knocks means this approach isn’t necessarily pleasant. You’re radicalized from a lower-self, going through like a type of purging process, that tears at the fabric of the heart. So whatever you’re holding onto, until it blows up, or goes to pieces, or shifts, is an intensity that seems contrary to the other aspect of the depth that you went into, that went deeper and deeper in which that was just somehow or another you let go of that.

Yet both ways awaken, or appear to awaken. Maybe one is illusive in that it awakens you to a heart that’s trying to vie and feel everything. Even in the out-breath way of awakening it becomes a heart that is carrying a pain of a perception, and a reflection. Which means this is like they’re mutually exclusive, because when you’re really, really somewhere else you can’t find the heart necessarily. Your heart’s everywhere. You’re at a depth instead, and when you’re caught in the condensed state all you can experience is the calamity of the heart.

So the first path is the inner path in which the physical reflections, which afflict the heart, fall away, and you find yourself more and more in a deeper and deeper depth within. And in terms of trying to understand this, this is often referred to as kind of the Bhakti subjective approach, but that is overly simplistic, and if you just look at it that way you can just be something high in the light or something and not have any grounding. So it’s almost as if the other system has to have some degree of involvement in the process, in which, by calling it the other system, which is the out-breath, you’re putting everything including the reflective conditions into the heart trying to purge that in some sort of annihilatory way.

In other words, if you purge it completely enough then you can’t find the heart and the great expanse again. This is the approach that burns off the karma in a living it out kind of hard, heartfelt way. And being able to go along and live in the outer and, somehow or another, be okay in that is kind of the Raj yoga way – but it’s a painful journey.

In the dream I like the way that I was able to see myself suddenly lost, very very deep, and was coming out of that deep capacity. Under this scenario, or quality inside, or however, or even system, I seem to be at an inner depth as if I woke up there all of a sudden, or was shifted there, in one fell swoop.

The second scenario was pointed out to me as something with an entirely different sensation motif. It is also part of the out-breath and therefore has an intensity to it because you’re coming down into the multiplicity. Whenever there are identifications, of which there are going to be, by the heart to the reflective physical images, there is a lot of pain and collateral effect, which means that there’s the offsetting reactivity or reactiveness. And a reactiveness is nothing more than the heart have or the mind and the senses trying to figure out what’s going on, trying to create an understanding of the reflection.

The reason why I had this experience is to point out that it is so much smoother to let go and be taken. The other approach fights and struggles every step of the way. However, this predilection, being how I am in terms of contending with the outer, is a system whereby I suffer a lot in the outer – and hopefully do not blow myself to physical pieces prematurely.

A person who is too afflicted by the outer can have physical ailments, you can have a condition shut down that can cause personal injury. All kinds of strange things can happen. So if I’m able to handle this, I set the table for being naturally shifted in a letting go way, that’s if you’re able to handle it. If you’re not, then you just go around and around and around with it. The two seem to work side by side, or hand in hand.

The second approach, in other words, you know I can’t deny that there’s the out-breath right, so they have to be working hand in hand is another way of saying it, but I didn’t look at it quite like that. I just noticed that in the depth inside it was like when I saw the other, I realized that they’re both there, and they both have the same intent to try to get you somewhere, or try to awaken something up. It’s just that the second approach dials things up in one sense, in an outer context, so it’s doing it more quickly, or so it seems. And if I’m able to let go of the reflections that tear at the heart, and tear one up on a physical level, I can suddenly catch up with the inner depth, which maybe lucky, maybe not everybody can. Maybe some people just never can get out of it and the trauma just builds and builds until it drives them insane, or burns them up.

So I guess what I’m saying is that there are two versions to the process, much like flip sides of a coin. There is what I would call the Bhakti in-breath, and there is that which goes into life as an exhaled out-breath, which one could call maybe the Raj part, which has to contend with everything in the physical plane of reflection vying for recognition. Because such vying is reflective there is the appearance of multiplicity. The more I contend with that as being so, the more I afflict the heart with reflections that incite the senses and ego mind to intervene.

The definition of ego mind is a mind driven by sense perception, contracted from its true inner home in the overall essence of everything, everywhere. The true inner home is a piece in which time and space are incorporated within, and the without is located within at a quiet inner depth.

The subtle inner note is more alive, or so it seems, when the letting go Bhakti side prevails. When the Raj side is present there is the impression impressed upon the soul that there is work to be done here, in other words, caught in the illusion. You’re putting this stuff in the heart. The illusion veils until we reach beyond with the in-breath. We’re veiled by the limitations of a bifurcated, reflective physical plane.

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