The Real Me


When we hold something, or someone, in our heart, there is a closeness and a connection that binds us and is always there. When we don’t have that feeling about people, or things, there is a sense of alienation and separation. And we may have experienced the feeling of an inner twinge when we make a decision or act in a way that goes against some inner knowingness. When we do, we suffer from it, even if it is subtle. Sometimes it has to be not-so-subtle for us to make a change in how we proceed. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream I see myself as being in a setting in which I know that there is a part of myself on the verge of waking up. In other words, it hasn’t woken up.

I’m in a setting, that is kind of like a ghetto setting, of which something more is possible. I say it’s a ghetto setting because the image is that I can step into a hall and at the end of the hall is kind of a door that normally has a lock on it, kind of a barn door-like look and there’s no lock on that. All I know is that I should fix this.

I mean, this is not good. Something could come in. This is not protected, and so I bring into this corridor what is needed to fix this old, wood-like barn; I call it barn wood because it’s an old wood thing that’s solid but doesn’t have a lock on it.

And at some point I step outside and, when I step outside, I hear all kinds of noise from inside. When I come inside I can barely make out a party scampering back into his room – and that’s how I realize that this corridor is connected to all kinds of rooms that are here in this place. And it’s kind of like a little lower level, too; well, maybe it’s not a lower level, but it has a sense of a lowerness to it.

And so, of course, whatever I have pulled together there to try to rectify something that is vulnerable, you know, to fix that so that intruders or something can’t come into this space, all of my materials are gone. And so, for a split second, I’m a able to see someone scamper into a doorway down the hallway.

So I go down the hallway to where this person has scampered, I open the door and, of course, because this is kind of like a tenement setting it’s kind of like you walk into a one room outfit and there’s three people there. It’s darkish and they’ve crawled into bed; but then there’s a grandpa there.

And the grandpa seems to be up and the others have crawled into bed. Well, I need to find out what happened to the materials that were needed and necessary for fixing things because of the vulnerability, and they’ve been stolen, and my clue and lead is they have to know something about it because I saw them scampering into their room.

And so I pick up a fork, and I grab grandpa, and I ask them to tell me what happened. And no one will talk. So I stab grandpa, in the heart area, but the fork is turned so it misses the heart initially. And I plunge it all the way in. Still they stand there in a stupor, like people tend to do. You know, no one will rat on anybody, or tell me anything.

And I kind of realize, okay, they’re not parties to what took place for me to lose this, but they know who is. So then I take the fork and I turn it a little bit so that the fork will go straight into the heart. And I plunge it in, and grandpa passes out.

And that’s when one of them decides, okay, enough’s enough and proceeds to tell me what happened, that there were these couple of people that had come there with a truck and they loaded all this up. And their name is Tom and something or another, Louise or Tom or something. Well, that’s all I know, that’s all they know.

Okay, so now I feel really bad. Grandpa has come to, he’s come back, and I tell him that I’ll never do this to him again. He says, “Okay” and that’s the only moment where there’s kind of a heartfelt quality to this thing, that I reassure him that it’s over, it’s not going to happen again,

And so then I proceed, because apparently I was like the handyman or something to all of this, because I now then proceed to the office where the landlady is at for all of these tenements. And she has seen what I have gone through so she is more open, she’ll tell me, she’ll give me more information. In other words, she gives me enough information so that I can then find them.

What I wrote up about this is, when I first came out of the meditation dream I was intently aware that something was trying to come into my waking attention, but I couldn’t get it to come through. I could feel the vibration from within as being astir, but the direct access was not there. I laid back hoping to get more info, and that is when the dream image, and images created by the repressed vibration, opened up. That was the dream.

And the meaning of the dream is, I’m coming to know that in the outer I am like a creature, or person, in an outer environment that finds that the outer environment is not comfortable enough for me to put up with. It’s comfortable enough for others to stay at an amnesia and, initially, I woke up affected by the amnesia that they are in, so to speak, because I couldn’t shake out the dream, I just knew that something more had to make itself known.

And so unlike them that adjust to the surroundings of what takes place there, I have to break the veil that alienates, or keeps me from, an awareness of my need. What’s going on here is, of course, I’m able to come and go, but I am not able to extricate to a deeper meaningfulness depth which is like another step; a deeper awakening, in other words

And what is sad about it is it seems like only by a type of suffering, or stabbing of the heart, which is my way of saying things so I get an image like that, that I seem to be catalytically affected enough to break the amnesic trance. I don’t know why it has to be this way. What I went through is painful. I complain that it would have been easier if everything was just laid out, presented straightaway, but I guess maybe it’s because the struggle to stay asleep is how we find ourselves on the physical plane. In other words, we’re struggling to stay asleep, so I suppose we have to suffer until we quit that struggling to stay dense and stupid.

The dynamic difference between being laid back accepting the conditions seems to be something that jerks you out of it, or otherwise you’ll just assume, hey, it’s not so bad, and you’ll adjust and continue to stab the heart until you can’t stab the heart anymore – and have to break out of the trance, which then brings you to a state of attention in which the inner flow is quickened. Until you do this, the general outer conditions prevail, and an inner realizing, or realness, that is to be experienced vibrationally, remains in a stupor.

So, I guess you could say what happened in this imagery is, my suffering broke the trance. And, once I broke the initial prevailing veil to an inner awareness, the insight I needed can naturally flow now. The mannerisms or nuances in charge of this place, or I should say the higher self in charge of this new shifted place, see my focus and what I have gone through, opens up to tell me everything I need to know, and communicates all that is there in sufficient detail so that I will have no trouble catching up with what is missing about myself.

And  the key part of the dream is the part where my heart softened as I assure and promise grandpa that I won’t do that again, i.e., stabbing the heart. That is where a letting go finally occurs and, from there on, the flow previously pent up is able to flow and flow. This is the most important part in the dream; this is when the heart connects.

I guess this is how it works, and must work, if what is to happen is to be appreciated and felt in a heartfelt way, and to get me back to re-identifying with the inner flow and letting go of my dependency upon creature comforts that veil. Or to put my condition in other words, when I am in an outer stupor the heart is oppressed, and in my separation from the wholeness I resort to the stupidest things as one part of myself intentionally takes from another part – and thinks it can hide from the real me, a me that is a oneness and everything else is separate and reflects where it is that I am at in my stupor and delusionality. It’s interesting how I address the real me, because now I’ve tweaked something and I have to find out about that me.

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What is Designed

fractal-universeIt’s very difficult to make our spiritual journey if we don’t understand the mechanics of things, how they work. But we’re not able to take that in all at once. As we see in this image, it begins with driving in the dark. Then a new element is added, a fiance, which allows a climb to higher elevations and the sparking of fires. And where the fires have been, the design is revealed. This is the unfolding process, as different parts of our inner lives connect and open up. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In the beginning of my dream I’m traveling, in what’s almost like a small truck more than a car, with some other people. When I suddenly notice that, even though they’re not paying attention, it’s gotten much darker out than it should be because I suddenly reach over and turn on the lights just in time to avoid hitting another vehicle in the road – because it’s both like dusk and fog has come in. And no one was really paying attention to how dark it was, that you couldn’t actually see where you were going.

But once I turned on the lights, even though it’s still hard to see, I can see the shapes of things enough to not run into them. And then we get to a first area that we’re traveling to and we’re all milling around in a building. And somebody introduces me to a man that they say will be my fiance, even though I don’t remember meeting him before. So it feels like we visit awhile.

And then we’re moving on somewhere else. And this next town we go to is on a higher level, and it’s in a valley with mountains around it. And a whole group of us are in this rather large building; different people visiting in different areas. It’s probably a couple hundred people in there.

And I see some people that I knew from New York before that were seminar leaders. One of them, who’s quite focused, doesn’t really talk to me – even though I bump into him and then he nods to me. But there’s a tall red-haired woman who remembers me and comes over and, at one point, she’s asking me my age, but she never likes to tell anybody her age. So I just tell her what year I was born in.

But I realize she still never reveals her age, and she’s always a little critical of how one looks, or this or that, but she’s still kind of fun to see. It’s like after I bump into her I’ve moved to another place in the room, and I’m talking to a woman, and that’s when I remember that now it feels like my fiance and I have broken up. And I try to remember his name and realize I can’t remember his name.

However, just even thinking about that seems to have woken me up in some way that I realize that there’s a fire going on in the mountains. So it’s like I kind of either go up there, or project my consciousness up there, and I see one area where it’s burned in a pattern down the mountain. I see my niece’s husband is up there as one of the firefighters working on the fires, and I seem to be studying the pattern of the burn, how things broke off, or how they burned, or which areas are going to burn, because I don’t see flame as much as I see the pattern of what’s left after they’ve burnt.

And there’s something that I’m aware of, that’s even related to my fiance, with how the burn pattern will be, or how something is given in the burn pattern that I’m trying to figure out.

John: Well, the theme of the dreaming had to do with 1) having to be introduced to, or shown, or revealed something, because it’s a need-to-know basis, in other words. One’s kind of hit a point where another step is required in the unfoldment process, so when that step is unfolded you’re getting closer and closer to a dynamic that has a history that goes way, way, way back. In other words, it’s a variable.

You’re still not sorting out the timing. You’re still not dealing with the timing, in terms of what you’re shifted into, because your shift is happening on a spatial level. I guess the timing just catches up on its own, and your attention is upon the spatial level because, to begin with in the dream, it starts off where you have reached a particular point where you now need to have a greater understanding of what’s going on. In other words, you’ve gotten to the point where,  having digested what you’ve opened up to, it’s back to kind of a state of a blur, or a bewilderment, that is going on.

So to break you out of that you’re introduced to another piece of yourself, which is what you call your fiance. All that is is kind of like a spark that then sets in motion your relating, in a larger sense of the word again, in the mountains. So you’re opening up to something more, but it seems like that something more that you open up to you have a way of sharing and relating, even though you’re not given the insight in terms of timing: age.

And something is to change. There’s something about the spark of things that is to change. You’re not provided this spark yet as to what it is. Instead you seem to have to look at it in kind of an amnesic way, and what you see is this burned area. It’s shaped. It has a shape and it has a design to it.

So, part of the theme of the dreaming is catching up with the shape and design – as if this is all part of a great master unfoldment, and that part of your process of awakening is to get to a point where you see the pristine unfoldment, or recognize that unfoldment. And what I can’t tell is if you then become that unfoldment. In other words, you see this thing still through other mountain tops, that can burn and whatnot, which means that if you can see it you can be it, which means that you then are that that is designed: the unfolding.

It’s a very complicated imagery because this isn’t following any pattern that we’re used to looking at in terms of a dream unfoldment. It is instead kind of suggesting that you’ve come to a point where a change, or a shift, in terms of a next step, is at hand. And that what you have gotten to is you’re going at great speeds and everything, but now you need to have a greater orientation of something opened up again. Because you can’t go at these greater speeds that you’ve caught up with without an orientation of something more brought into the equation, which starts with another seed which is the fiance, and then progresses into what you’re now able to contend with. And it is a continual spiraling upwards, going into being able to relate in more of a higher-self way.

With the missing component being that you do not have the precision of timing at your disposal, but you are able to see the unfolding design. And it seems that because you’re able to see the unfolding design that you’re able to know how that design can affect all the other peaks and such that are in the overallness that you’re now in, this new overallness, which suggests that if you have a sense of that, then that sense is you, too.

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Letting it Go

ima2211gesWhen we let go of something, an old habit, an old opinion, an old defense mechanism, we make room for something new. It’s a law of physics that nature will always fill a vacuum, and that is a fact of energy that we can use to our advantage. When we clean and clear, something new is possible for that space. When we let go of relationships, we are open to meeting people who are right for us in the now. And when we let go of the past, we free ourselves from baggage that limits our future. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well I dreamt a lot last night, and had at least three dreams, but I don’t remember many of the details. I remember more of the message.

One of the earlier dreams, it felt like I was on a property that had like pine trees and some buildings, including one building that looked more like an old stone tower that someone lived in. And the man that lives on this property, that has some priest-like qualities, he kind of pulls me aside from the other people because he has like a mission for me.

And what’s involved in this mission is I seem to climb up the outside of the tower wall, and talk to him through a window in the tower wall, and he gives me something, a piece of paper with some information on it.

And then I’m looking down, I’m hanging onto a tree so that I don’t fall, hanging onto the rocks on the wall and then the tree, and I’m looking down. But I realize that I can get down safely with the support of this real bushy tree.

The result of whatever he gave me through that dream, and two subsequent dreams, is that I really learn that in order for there to be more of something rather than to do what everybody else has been doing, or even I had been doing, and contain it, or put it away, or hold onto it, that what you had to do is open it up and let it go. And that was how you had more of it.

So it was like whenever that came up in the dream I had to remember that because it was kind of counterintuitive to how everyone was doing something; like they were kind of trying to hold onto something, then I would have to remember that, no, the right way that you had more of this or that it went into the world was you let it go.

John: From the way my dream unfolded, and the nature of the theme for last night, before you started to tell your dream I was actually wondering how it was that you were going to be able to keep approaching things using the tree, so to speak, or a groundedness, in manifestation as your means of being able to grasp something.

The dream is indicating that something more is needed that can open up if you let go of trying to function as a container energy only and allow yourself to shake, or quicken, the flow that is coming from within. And when you do, that will only intensify, as it is meant to do, because it is seeking to have a greater and greater connection as a flow through you.

So what this dream is doing is letting you know that there are limits to the functionality of container energy because there is this connection to a flow that you have accessed or, as the dream says, that you are given. And what you are holding on in terms of climbing down, or having the tree, or coming down the wall, is done because you’re in physical creation, because of manifestation being what it is that you embody naturally, that you can access this in a greater and deeper way. And that if you connect to this as a natural inner flow, in a more quickened way, it grabs a hold of you more and more all the time.

So what is a dream like this suggesting? Well, I suppose it could end up having you acting more in a masculine motif of writing your dreams up when you have them. And, if you did that, you may not necessarily have to know what they mean at the time that you write them up, but in the memory of them it would probably trip one right after another, right after another, right after another. And the reason why it would trip one right after another, right after another, right after another, is that some part of you will know what that means and, therefore, you will pull out, or facilitate the pulling out, of the meaning as I am saying it because you will be attuned to the correctness of that from a space of subjectivity, and kind of knowingness, that has been quickened.

And this is also what is important in terms of you catching up with a connection to the masculine, in which you would be pulling in the wisdom and sight yourself. As it is right now you are catching up with this through the container energy of a flow that is caught in a container, and it easily dissipates, but the container is not going to change. The container is going to catch these flows as they come in, and what can change is your greater understanding of those in and for yourself can intensify on your own, in other words, without the need of let’s say my interpretations per se.

In other words, you would be more acute in terms of the understanding already from having shaken the bush, so to speak, in that way of this flowing inside of you. And, were you to do this, this would just then intensify the depth to which this whole process would start going. It would kick it into another gear or two.

So, in other words, what your dream is saying is that the container energy can only go so far, and that you can take this a whole lot farther if you embrace what is trying to flow through you. And when you do, it will flow through you more and more.

That’s an information dream isn’t it?

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