No matter how well intentioned we are as we make our spiritual journey, there will come a point where we have to break through some spiritual illusions that we have held as we made our way. It’s natural because we can’t truly understand the way of something until we get deeper into it, when we are able to say, “Aha, so that’s how it is.” This dream shows this process in the dreamer, where a meeting with the queen awaits, but first the “family house” has to be torn down to make way for what needs to be built in the next phase. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: Then I have a dream in which there’s someone I’ve known since childhood, who’s planning her wedding, and I’m trying to facilitate. The fiancé is around, and other friends are around, and initially I can only do so much because at some point, around the time of the wedding, I have to go to England to do something with the queen there, go to court, do something.
So I’m doing what I can, but in the process of planning her wedding she’s getting really neurotic, even driving the fiancé nuts. At one point he comes to lay down next to me. He’s like just looking for some affection, or some kind of connection, and then that makes her nuts. I’m just trying to keep everything neutral, but getting a little fed up with the whole thing, too.
But it feels like her getting mad at me kind of gives her the energy to get refocused and start working again on what needs to be accomplished for the wedding. On the other hand, because she’s mad at me, now you feel like she doesn’t really even want me at the wedding – even though I found out I’m not going to be out of town after all.
Then I turn around and I go over to look at the house where I’ve been living, which is my family house, and it feels like I’ve been living on the lower levels of the house. In the upper levels are some monks who have been living there. And as I look at the house, something causes it all to start collapsing from the top where all the monks live. And it’s just kind of flowing down through, kind of like when you see a type of flow you get with a landslide.
It’s not like I have a sense anybody’s necessarily hurt, but obviously I can’t go back to the house. And this is causing someone who’d been observing the whole dream all the time to kind of reach out to me a little bit, instead of get wrapped up in all the types of strange emotions that have been going on with everybody else.
But I also have to get somewhere, so I go down an alleyway, or I’m going to down a street and I’ll be coming back to the house but, as I go down the street, I suddenly see that running rampant over the street are these prehistoric animals. Some of them look like small dinosaurs, and some just look like crocodiles, as they kind of sweep with their big tail down the street and things it’s like then they try to harass or get some of the people, or animals, or things that are going down there.
And one of them, particularly, a smaller one, starts to kind of want to chase me as I have to go down the street to get to where I’m getting, but at this point it seems like I really am kind of fed up with some stuff like that because I seem to pick up some small little log or something and I think I chop off its horn, or parts of its tail, or something. It’s something that discourages it anyway from continuing to bug me – just because I feel like I have to get past that street.
I don’t particularly really want to hurt the animals, even though they are kind of rampaging, but you have to not have them creeping up on your back, or trying to take a bite out of you so you have to whack them.
John: That last part is kind of a way that you have become kind of indulged, or indoctrinated, by some pattern that’s ancient and prehistoric in your past, that comes up and interrupts or interferes with the unfoldment of a process.
Now the process that’s unfolding has both a top and a bottom to it. The top of it is the queen: that’s the area in which something is in a greater realization in terms of something so much more. The bottom is that which is trying to be born, or married or whatever, that’s trying to awaken. And that part that is trying to awaken is personal, so that’s like in life. That’s something in life, and the queen in something of the higher self somewhere else.
So the part that’s trying to awaken has a precociousness about it because it sees this sort of thing as something that is happening with itself, and so what it’s doing is dwelling upon that in a kind of separate motif way so that when the conditions around it do not comport with it, it gets a little peevish. The part of yourself that knows that there has to be so much more, that yields to a greater importance, doesn’t really know what that greater importance is. That’s why it’s just referred to as the queen, that it has to do something for the queen. However, that process of serving the higher self leads to the tumbling down of a way of being that is meant to go away.
And what tumbles down is all these monks that tumble down, collapse in the house, and on the other side of that is what is real. See, that breaks the spiritual illusion and everything like that. So what you’re doing is you’re playing with this dichotomy between a part of yourself that sees itself waking up, coming into knowing something and realizing something, and in that regard you can be very possessive, and protective, and peevish if it interferes with what you perceive as a process.
But then you feel inside of yourself something that is speeded up. By speeded up means that it’s traveling somewhere, meaning that it is going to a greater beingness, that being the queen, and you’re trying to reconcile the two parts. Well, the carrying on by that which is getting married is louder. You have your excuses in terms of a responsibility somewhere else to the queen. You put the two together so that neither of those occur, neither of those become a predominant loudness, and you collapse the house, you collapse all of that which is meant to be in a stillness so that there is this greater overall wholeness that is there only.
There’s no house anymore. The idea of the house had something to do with the process of working with a higher self and a lower self, working with the queen, working with the getting married, and then when all of that goes away you just have a wholeness. Everything comes tumbling down and what remains is what is real. In other words, all the monks came tumbling down, too. That’s quite a dream isn’t it?
Now that importance all happened in the first two thirds of the dream. The other one third I was almost going to say hey, it’s over, and then I started to see that’s a throwaway. And no it’s not, it wasn’t a throwaway. In the past I’m inclined to treat it like it’s a throwaway because it’s all I can do to hold onto the forces to something else that’s louder and more important, but this was very important too because what this did is it pointed out what it is that you have done, over the course of time, that tends to keep you from recognizing this part that is so obvious.
In other words, it’s like your nature going all the way back to prehistoric time has gotten caught up in having to be involved with, in terms of an effect upon you, that has caused you to be thrown off and off to one side instead of catching this schematic that is quickened. Like in the first two thirds you can easily do this step back into this other that has its peculiarities yet, because your memories are so based upon those peculiarities – even though you may not have caught up with all of those memories, because like your dream is indicating it goes way, way back like prehistoric even – it has created an indulgence of your nature, in an abstracted way from the schematic awareness, and awakening, to something so much more, reaching for the higher self, or trying to awaken through the outer to any kind of spiritual conceptualization, all the Buddhas come tumbling down.
That’s the chemistry at play, and then the layer over the top of that was this whole background that you called prehistoric even, that basically held your primary attention instead of your pristine attention. It held your primary outer attention that kept you in a particular kind of trance.
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