Reckless Abandon

kayak2We like to think of ourselves as one person, one identity, but we are a collection of many lives. We may have a life that is cautious and sensible, and we may have a life that is daring and out of control. We manage these lives, reining some in and trying to set others free. And, as we are all the characters in our dreams, we get to see, on a nightly basis, this inner struggle for balance and harmony. In this dream, we see that the dreamer needs to save herself from herself – but much better to get the message in the dreamworld than in outer reality. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In my initial dream I seem to be in some kind of a battle, or a contest, or a race with someone, but it was conducted entirely on our iPads, like they had an iPad and I had an iPad and whatever we are moving around with really swiftly there, that was how the battle was done. So that was the initial dream.

John: You’re trying to maintain a speed and hold a timeline.

Jeane: In the next dream I’m with someone else, I think it’s a woman, and they really want to go kayaking, and they want to go kayaking in this wilderness area that’s probably more like Alaska, or the Antarctic, or somewhere because it’s kind of very rough terrain.

Well, we’re on our way there, and they haven’t really kayaked before. I’ve done a little bit of kayaking. We get up there and I go down to take a closer look at the water. We’re not quite to our destination yet, and I notice that the bank, you know the landscaping, it can suddenly shift suddenly and fall away.

I get down near the water and I realize it’s much colder than anything we’ve had to deal with before, and very swift running, and to just go down and put kayaks in the water ourself would be much too dangerous. In fact, it’s pretty dangerous terrain, so if we want to do it we need to do it up at this resort, or camp, that’s at the very top where it’s supervised and people put you in the kayak and kind of guide you.

So we get up there. There’s a couple that runs this place. And I’ve gone up there, and I’m looking at it, and I realize that even with supervision, and up at this resort where people go to kayak and things, that the water’s still pretty dangerous. It really rushes by, you know, and we need to be cautious in that maybe we just go in once.

While I’m thinking about all this, I suddenly see my partner has jumped in a kayak somewhere and the kayak’s out of control, and they go rushing by, and I don’t see anybody else doing anything to help so I feel like I have to go down and find a kayak and see if I can catch up with them because they’re just being totally swept by.

John: The first thing was setting the tone and the note, where you’re trying to determine the speed and the timeline. You don’t know what speed you’re trying to maintain, or if you have a right to even maintain that speed, or if that’s just what you have to contend with. Nor do you know how that is to work in a timeline.

So you’re provided with the second dream to show you where you’re at in a more laid out fashion, in terms of this as an overall schematic, and what you’re shown is that you need to follow a guidance that works with a kind of protection – from the top down – in order to be able to go at a pace that you are finding yourself having to go at, which means a speed. And the timeline is that of catching, and staying with, a feminine side of yourself that has a tendency to charge out of control.

So the feminine side needs to be more grounded, and when you’re starting at the top of something you’re starting in a masculine zone, however, because the journey you’re taking, the path you’re taking, you go down drops and things fall away, you go down into life at a breakneck pace. And so you have to, somehow or another, handle that, almost just like you’re charged with a responsibility that you can’t get overly carried away with, that you can’t race too much with.

I guess you need to see that this is a pace and a direction in which you are having to unfold in a way that is pulling all parts of your quality of groundedness together. By groundedness I mean the feminine is what sustains something in the overall, however you’re doing in a kind of threadlike way, not in an expansive way, which is kind of an unusual image because it has this pace that I mentioned, which is a breakneck pace, and it is also working with a quality of a timeline. Things race, and this river goes at a particular speed, and is dangerous and whatnot, and is not easy to navigate.

The difference is that you’re doing this by maintaining, or catching up, with parts of yourself that open up, that awaken, that are able to take this on. As dangerous as it is, a part of you carries the respect of what is needed to realize the conditions that you’re in. And the other part of yourself has a reckless abandon – and the two need to be put together.

It’s an interesting use of energy because the way it worked: first you’re provided with the generic topic of which you can never really understand, under that kind of limited schematic, and then you’re provided with a storyline with the greater ins and outs from which to be able to better understand how it is that you’re meant to cope under the designed conditions that you find yourself in.

Jeane: Then I think I had a dream I didn’t hold onto. Right before I woke up I had this bright image of I’m just looking at this scene where I’m just looking down on a corridor, from above almost, and it’s a beautiful shiny oak floor and even part of the walls are shiny oak. It’s just a half wall on one side, but it’s very pretty. It’s almost just like a pretty half or quarter wall almost like you could sit up there, and then on the other side probably it goes to windows, and then the floor like I said is all oak and some of the walls are this real pretty light-colored oak.

And then scattered on the floor are a handful of bullets, which are also rather shiny, and that was just the scene. I recognized that the bullets represented all of everything I had been dreaming about, in a way, or whatever had been going on.

John: Everything that you go through, which may seem a bit much at the time you’re going through it, is for a reason. And so the bullets are there that you have to contend with, and the beginning and the end are pulled together, in which at the end so to speak as an image is this place that is quite exquisite.

It was empty and everything. Very pretty, in a laissez faire way points out there’s your bullets. The process was the process, and there she be. In such an image there isn’t an ending, so to speak, kind of movie-like ending. Usually all endings in movies have some sort of either traumatic result end result, or culmination that leads to some sort of evolved epiphany where the character grows as a result of having gone through things, and there’s always a kind of end result loudness in that presence. And, in this case, there’s a presence but no loudness. It’s very quiet, it’s very peaceful, it’s very relaxed. It’s like everything has been desensitized. It’s an interesting ending.

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