It’s Not Me

BBTH100ZIt may seem an impossibility to not take our lives personally; after all, everything we experience happens to us, or around us. But the understanding is more about not imposing our view on life, in terms of what the outcome looks like. We don’t resist what happens, we adapt to it.  It’s really the only approach that lessens the stress of living, anyway. Like in a dream, what unfolds around us has information and guidance for what we need to understand and grow from. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, to have this experience like this, when I went to bed, you know, it was like having watched a whole day of football. It was kind of a speeded up element that one carried. It was kind of like something that moved about, that drifted about. You were kind of swept up in the momentousness of it all.

And I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to meditate being like that and, I realized that, in order to meditate, I had to let go of that; that that was something that I look forward to experiencing and seeing where that would go and whatnot, and yet having experienced that that then had some sort of peculiar effect upon me and, in order to go somewhere in a deeper level other than just have kind of a mind wandering around or something, I had to just let go of that energetic. And I wasn’t sure that it could happen, or would happen.

And then suddenly it did. And when it did the significance, then, is I am awakening in this meditation dream to come to know a result, an inner result, to what is unfolding. The common thread to all three steps is a closeness that opens up more and more and enables me to have a greater and greater net effect upon the awakening process that seems to be evolving.

Now you don’t see that as like that to begin with. In other words, to begin with you just are kind of confused looking down, seeing this dynamic going on, and it’s going back and forth that seems to be about some object or something. And then when you come down you realize you’re the object, and then as the object having to open itself back up to the whole, you come to realize that you’re caught in this vibratory tug-o-war. And now how do you let go of all of this so it all goes back to a stillness? Or, in other words, a letting go occurs, in what is a fourth step, so that the net effect results and there being no projective aspect one way or another in terms of the process.

In other words, there’s no unfolding that is defined in a specifically designed way, in which a given result has to be aspected in manifestation, or the outer. In other words, you come to recognize that you don’t want to be left in some sort of trance, or some sort of defined overall effect, that is supported by outer cause and effect.

And so you learn to contend with those extenuating circumstances by knowing how to just let go of them. And when you do this leads, or becomes, still in terms of an emptiness and silence, and when that is able to happen it’s like the last step in what had been a fairly intense process.

So to kind of recap, looking for kind of like instead of making these statements about it, looking for like how to say it as a meaning, the journey I am describing starts from far away, becomes close, and eventually so close that the energetic vibration itself is like the creator. When I am able to let go of defined, and specifically designed, correspondence that I have, in terms of my idea of a beingness, that is when I am able to know the soul.

Until then I am unfolding as portrayed above, in the symbolic dream, through the various stages of an awakening unfoldment in which there is the pretentions of somewhere to be, and somehow to be, and something to appreciate, and something to enjoy, and things that one chooses to indulge in. And yet then it all becomes something so much more when you quit all of the indulgences and are able to suddenly experience a total space of letting go.

Then I take and I go ahead and have a dream that does that. So in the dream everyone has left the place that I own. I am left with the hay in the field that needs to be cut and, as I take and I stare at that, then my attention goes back to the yard. And then there is a person who’s packing things up and they are being careful to leave the tools and equipment behind that don’t belong to them.

In other words, there’s like a total letting go, which means I can do whatever I like with this, but there’s nothing I want to do. I do not know what to make of my state of being, in which I am unable to take what is in the outer that is before me, seriously. I’m not used to having to contend with that which has no meaningful importance to me; especially that which might have been something that I went to great effort to put together and whatnot, but then come to realize that it isn’t me.

And the sensation of the scenario is I can’t bring myself to contending with that which is released for me to use. In other words, it’s there. It’s like an outer thing. It all belongs to me, but then in the dream I can’t buy into such physical conditions, or find inside myself a frame of reference to do so.

And so I guess the meaning is it’s indicating that I am not in a frame of reference which holds onto the past. I have let go of the synaptic impressions within that had me bound. I am freed up, but for what?

It was kind of a hard dream to remember because it didn’t have the intentionality of a dream content, in other words a dream content that grabs a hold of you, in terms of its seriousness, or something.

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