Knowledge and understanding of a spiritual path and process can be a fascinating endeavor, but it is not the point. A spiritual scholar may be further from the real connections than an illiterate farmer who has never read a book, but who is pure in his intentions. Yet, because we are a brain-centric culture, we can think that the more knowledge we amass the better it will be for our journey. Such knowledge can also be an escape away from the true work of a spiritual quest, which is the letting go of attachments to what we think we know, and connecting to, and being with, what is. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So, in my meditation dream, I see this image again that I had in another dream. It’s kind of like a repeat, and I didn’t know what to make of it I guess, in the other dream, other than seeing it and still remembering it. But the repeating component is, I came to see that what is in life, in terms of its essence, when the image existence explodes.
In other words, it just blows up. In other words, it doesn’t maintain its continuity. It just goes kapoof. It loses its structure. Now it can be a vibrational reflection, but then again even that can blow up.
So what I saw did not have to have a physical beingness. I wasn’t on that level, with a vibrational reflection and light level. In other words, what was happening was in seeing this I’m on a different level, that’s not necessarily in a level of manifestation, because in manifestation you see everything as having a form, you know, you see the myriad of things wherever your eyes look.
In this place it was like a vibration comes up, it has a reflection, the reflection goes poof. In other words, it’s no longer something you’d dwell up on, and that split-second thing leaves you with something. You denote from this the essence or something. It’s like putting your finger upon a beingness that is all effusive when it explodes like this. Or, in other words, the way I am trying to describe this is, in this split second where something does that, if you were in this loci in a physical way, that would be what is called an inflection, or a sudden knowingness, about something, or a light bulb moment. But in a loci where that sort of thing is outside of a plane of density, it’s a density there as the pulsation itself.
In other words, on this level, to have the light bulb moment or the inflection is considered wonderful, but on that aspect of one’s self to have something brought through like that, and then you see it and then it explodes, you’re limited. You are limited because the degree to which you saw that and everything, and what happened there, and what you made out of all of that limits you.
So what I saw on this level, to dwell upon that, would be to be dense. In other words, now I’m reconciling the two levels, that there is a way of looking at things, and understanding everything, because this is what happens when light can go kapoosh like this. In other words, you have to be a light that is similar to what you were trying to do in your drawing. You have to be a light that comes in, in an expansive way, and can fill a container, and can fill it to such a degree that it exudes in terms of its auricness to the light of the world – and then can be breathed right back up.
But if you don’t, then you have a kind of knowingness that can get in your way because it doesn’t matter if you know. You can know everything and yet still not know what is real – which is this light and only this light. Even in this situation there has to be a letting go into the stillness instead of not just catching the light bulb moment, you know seeing it on this level where this light bulb moment is, where you can actually shake things through and understand something, there’s a limitation there.
And I was holding on – the opposite of letting go – to a stillness, so it was a density in terms of that loci way of being. The density in that loci has an unacceptable naff that, on this level, would be called a physical existence trance, exemplified in the outer collective of manifestation. It’s kind of hard to say, but what is seen in terms of being able to flash and inflect in the light a knowingness, because everything that’s there to be understood and known is in the light. And so to flash upon that, and to know that, is on this level inside of one’s self, outside of the physical density of things, is a limitation.
You can get caught in that. It’s a light. It seems like you can do this, but, on that level, when you take the physical out, it still is a beingness, and that beingness and the inflection to that, in terms of what is important on that loci, that would be no different than being caught up in the myriad of things in the outer in manifestation. You have to drop that, too.
So the reason for the dream is something bothered me about the inflections I saw yesterday. Now this happens a lot whenever I’m around something that’s elevated in its energy, or has the resonance in the atmosphere that’s elevated. I get into this state when there is a certain quality of a light that’s around in the atmosphere, and then what comes out of my stillness, in terms of reading the light, can have a certain knowingness.
And that’s inflective in that aspect of light, but there’s so much more. You don’t have to do that. Doing that actually takes you away from your heart, little by little. Although I like that sort of thing as kind of a cloak of knowing, it is, in terms of this loci that I visited, it is a barrier that is in the way of emptiness.
Or to put it bluntly, I exist on many levels. On this inner level I have a gross and dense holding on to flash images that leave me with an inflection from the essence. In this inner loci I have come to know that as draining my auric nature. I need to let go even further and release such a holding on to this sort of seeingness and knowingness. Such a seeingness gets in the way of the emptiness.
The heart rejoices when the split-second inflection is not a quality of a beingness that I have to embrace, because I know it, too, and from seeing how it is in this loci, I know that this, too, the split-second inflection is a holding on, instead of a letting go to an even deeper stillness.
And I recall even hearing a teacher describe this as being like an appearance of knowingness that is actually a stupidity and ignorance. The heart knows how to recognize this as being a denier of the stillness. It is an attachment to a need to know, and such a knowing gets in the way of the heart. This is a knowingness that is still denser than the heart and is, therefore, considered a mind that isn’t yet one.
And so I kept thinking, what do I describe this, what do you call this? Do you know what it’s called? It’s called the Solomon Complex. This was Solomon’s problem. He wrote all of the Psalms and all of the stuff in the Bible, and he was wise beyond wise, but did he actually experience that which he exuded out of the light? Did he actually fully revolve in that light?
To some degree, yes, but deep, deep scholars that really understand what this is supposed to be all about, in terms of the heart, do ponder to what degree. He came so close, yet so far. And you can have people being around a teacher, and the teacher has this right breath, and this right space, and they can be attentive like in service like you wouldn’t believe, but can they and are they breathing in, really appreciating that breath that is right there in front of them? Of course, it’s always there in front of you because that’s really the only thing that’s going on – or you wouldn’t have manifestation.
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