Sometimes, as we near the very thing we want, we can then feel the greatest urge to run away. Because what we are heading for has power in it, and, as we get closer to the power, we begin to see and understand what that power will require of us, and what we will have to give up, and what we will have to do, and how we will have to be, to hold on to such power. Ultimately, if we stay with it, it will be the best trade-off imaginable – the best deal in the universe, in fact – yet we will still experience fear as we let go to it more and more. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: In the dream that I remember, I seem like I’m in my 20s or something, and I’m traveling with a troop of people that travel by horseback and with tents. It’s like there’s a king or someone who’s in charge, and I share a tent, but sleeping on separate cots with a woman and another man who, it feels like there’s something they want from me, but as long as I can kind of sleep in my separate cot, and a I have a certain protection from the king, it’s like they can’t take it yet.
So I’m always kind of on the lookout because as long as I can kind of keep that little bit of distance it feels like whatever I have is more protected. And I did have at least one special horse also, and it’s like the king needs me in whatever conflict it is that he has going on so, I have a certain amount of protection although I have to be really careful to make sure they don’t try to creep into my bed at night, or something, because there’s something that they want to steal.
And then it feels like after some significant battle, where everything is a little more relaxed, I have this feeling that, you know, in this more relaxed state like the king might kind of back off, and maybe whatever they want to do that they might get away with it.
So I manage to sneak off. I go down a trail that they don’t notice. It’s more deserted, and not many people traveling on it, but in order to really get away so that they don’t notice, it’s like I have to leave my favorite horse behind.
And there’s another horse that I take, that I travel with, and after going on this kind of odd, more deserted trail, then I also go down a different direction, and I have something with me that seems to mow; I pretend almost like I’m mowing a trail with some kind of a mower but, of course, I’m not really mowing the way you would if you were clearing a whole trail. I’m just doing one single patch down to get as far as I can from where they are so I can make a getaway.
The only thing I’m sad about is it feels like I have to leave the horse that I would usually ride behind because, if I had taken that horse, they would have noticed me. So I have another horse, or another vehicle with me, to make my getaway. That’s all I really remember of the dreaming.
John: Well, the setting you’re in is a setting that, if you were able to truly accept it, and see it for all that it is, is a setting in which there’s a wholeness. In other words, you’re traveling under the sphere of power, under the protection of power. And power is energy, and energy is light, and light is clarity. And you have the auspices that come from the top down.
In other words, the whole caravan of things, the whole movement, the whole action is under the guidance of the king. However, for whatever particular reason, there is something about you that doesn’t quite get the significance of the spatiality that you’re in. And you feel that you have some personal prerogatives that you can turn to, that you can place at your disposal, and, when you do that, you break the overallness that you’re in – which is easy to do because you’re not truly getting it.
In other words, you have little aspects that are still rising up inside of you to give you an opinion about this, and an opinion about that. So you’re not really realizing the fullness, or the wholeness, or the oneness. And so, to the degree that you go out and try to create your own thread, or make your own path, you give up on power.
You lose the pristine fine line of the connection, which is represented by your special horse, and you have to go off in ways that still have a certain power to them, but they’re of a more limited, personal, and designed capacity. And that sort of thing keeps you in an amnesia, or distant, from how it is that you could be.
In other words, it’s like the position you’re in, in the setting of the dream, has a potentiality about it – if you could let go and just fully take it in, knowing that you are part of all of that in every aspect and regard and, therefore, the aliveness, the action of that, is complete in and of itself. If you were able to truly note that as your beingness, that is connected to an inner knowingness, and therefore you are okay with the exclusive oneness and overallness, everything would be fine.
But for whatever reason that memo isn’t quite all there, isn’t loud enough, and so you go off on your own and create veils as you follow your own personal prerogative. But,,, there’s still the thread of a horse in that sense and there’s always the possibility of backtracking your steps because you are making an extension, or a spoke, that extends off. And so it’s not like you can really get away. You’re just extending outwardly, which is not like you can actually really get away.
In other words, you could backtrack that spoke to where you come to know the true inner action of your beingness, and/or it’s like something could happen yet to where it could still stalk, or haunt, you because it’s not like you have your favorite horse. You’ve left the favorite horse back there, so it’s not like what you have can actually go very far, or go very fast.
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