From birth, we are fed a diet of bread and circuses. But many yearn for something more, or have an urge for something more. And that is our most natural urge: to want to fulfill ourselves according to our design and possibility. In that journey we will begin to understand how the world we see veils us from what is really happening. But we have to look for that, and be open to finding it. When we do, then we can make a journey of purpose, a journey that matters. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: Okay, I had two dreams, but I don’t remember which one came first because for some reason they felt like the same dream to me, even though they were somewhat different.
In one dream you’re my boyfriend, and I’ve decided I’m going back to graduate school for awhile, and I’ve looked for a place to stay near the university. And there was a home where a woman rents out a lot of rooms in a building. I lived there years ago. She rents it out to all different people that are students.
And I had quite a good, but complex, room at that time, that kind of took up two different stories. Well, I go back this time and I have one room on the middle level of the ground floor, and that seems like good enough to go to graduate school. But then a friend of mine is saying that she’s constructed another room right next to it, that’s near the door even, and that they think I should go get that along with the room.
So I go look at the second room, then I take a relook at the room that I had rented, which is in the middle of the first floor, and it is a very simple room with a bed, a bureau, and little closet, and I can see that, especially because I’m in a relationship with you, if I add the other room it just adds something in terms of privacy and a little more space.
And I’ve been told she hasn’t rented it out, but there’s another young woman there on a cot right then. And then I go across the corridor and see that the room right across the corridor that used to be more spacious now has about three gals renting it who are going to share it all. And I realize that with all these young women that she has in the house, maybe she doesn’t let someone have a boyfriend – so maybe I need to talk to her to see if I can have the additional space, and will it even work; will you be able to get in the house?
And I’m feeling a little badly because I’m not sure what my financial situation is, because I had already gotten one graduate degree, and now I’m going back and taking this course – and is that the smartest thing to do? But it seems to be something I need to do. And I also think that somewhere there’s a closet full of old things that maybe I had left there, when I had lived there years ago, but I’m not sure if it has been emptied out, or even exists anymore.
And now I’m also wondering, you know, if she has a camera on the door or something that means I won’t be able to let you in there. So maybe this whole thing is not the best idea. I’m just not certain what to do. That’s the initial dream.
John: What you’re trying to find is a spatiality in which there is something that exists, within that spatiality. But however it is, and wherever it is, you look, you’re not able to add to the idea that there is something that can exist within a spatiality. In fact, you find yourself so out in the open that there is nothing to hide, nor is there anything to see, or anything in particular to have to be.
So the scenario for you is one in which you are not having to hold down any placement of self, in any given particular way, and that the idea that there is something like that only creates an awkward bewilderment.
Jeane: In the second dream, I have either a boyfriend, or fiancé, and he’s one of I guess what they call the little people, and when he briefly shows me a picture of his family, whom he wants me to meet, I see they’re kind of a mixed bag: some of the siblings are tall, and some aren’t.
And they live on somewhat of a ranch, plus they seem to have an area on that ranch where they have some arenas because they do some type of almost like a circus act. And his family can be tricky to get to know. So he’s going back to see his family before he introduces me to them.
So when he goes back there, and he enters the area where his family lives, what I’m observing is from a distance is at first he kind of runs along a seam in the ground, because it feels like there’s a whole arena that’s covered up with dirt right now, that’s an underground area, where his father and some of the other people are performing. Or that’s their practice arena.
And he goes past that because I guess there’s some way you have to gain entrance, and he goes into another room, and he kind of hides in this little place in the other room, and then these beings – they look kind of like machines, and some of them even look a little like machines that are also clocks, or mechanical and alive, though – come floating in the room. It’s almost like they’re guards and they check everything out.
So he’s like pretending to be a piece of furniture in the room or something. Of course they suss him out, they float over to where he is, and they all have like a laugh because this is like a joke he plays with them, and they see where he is.
And then he goes over to the area where there was the seam in the Earth, and it’s like it opens up and he can drop down into the area where his whole family is. And he’s trying to figure out now some way to introduce me to them, because it’s like there’s even this kind of playful way he gets introduced to them. And that’s all I remember of the dream.
John: So out of that setting, in which there’s nothing to be, or to see, or to do, that’s of your initial dream, the setting, out of that initial setting, that there’s just the spatiality. As the masculine aspect or element is added to the spatiality there is the sense that, arising out of the overall, coming up from the depths of things, is something anew.
And that a part of you is in anticipation of that. In other words, you’ve gotten the spatiality thing down so now you start to have some depth to it, as well, and you come to find out that there are the vibrations of things that you might yet still be focused upon – as if you need to recognize or realize. But, in the end, you find and come to know that there is really nothing about anything that amounts to anything, that it’s all a kind of fabrication.
Well what you’re describing is an emptiness in the full sense of the word, in that there’s this spatiality, in the first dream, and then there is nothing to be taken seriously. Why, sure, there’s the hoopla, there’s going to be this, and there’s going to be that, but ultimately, in the end, it’s kind of like laughable.
To have a dream like that detoxes you from a seriousness, that is imposed, in terms of one’s nature, or predilection. Everyone in the outer has this predilection to take something serious. And the scenario of taking things serious, or making a big deal out of something, and the holding of the space that doesn’t have to do anything like that, is the equivalent of living the essence within.
You don’t have to contend with the reflective conditions. Now, the thing that’s interesting about this is that, if you were to look at yourself and you would say okay, given what occurred yesterday it’s kind of surprising that I would dream something like this. The reason why you would dream something like this is because, deep down, you were able to hold a space in which you weren’t affected, or drawn in, to the drama of the overall outer.
When a person is caught up in the overall outer, the approach can only go to the point of seeing the essence, or the divine, or that which is of interest, or that what one thinks is of interest and value, one can only see that as an inflection from the outer.
Now there’s different degrees of that. There’s the degree to which one thinks that they are having new experiences, and that that’s what it’s all about. And then there are inflections in which one can see that there is just the outer, and then what comes out of the outer is what is real.
You are shifting from this place, and are shifting to where you’re not going to be honest to the greater part of yourself if you continue to conduct yourself like everyone else, making some sort of storyline, or importance, or meaningfulness, out of the reflective. It’s all a matter of degree, going all the way up to where you can see the divine essence coming out of the reflective.
When you take and you shift to where you hold a presence in an overall space, in which the overall space is broad, and then, in terms of above and below, there is nothing going on, it’s all kind of humorous. When you can hold that space, then just the holding of that space changes things because it causes the epiphany of a recognition. That is called being able to live the essence.
Now, to live the essence is to be a part of, or if you were to add the masculine quality to it, you would be actually changing the reflections. The reflections would be coming out of you, and that’s how it appears for awhile, and then you come to know that the greatest of the lived reflections is that in which nothing is occurring, a total emptiness.
So whatever it is that your eyes see, as if it has a meaningfulness, a meaningfulness that you have unfolded as an aspect of the creative beingness of yourself, is laughable, which means that the highest state of living is the state in which there is nothing going on.
So, you see what you were doing? You were going through the stages. You were going through stages of a type of reflective, and then a meaningfulness that arises out of what is perceivable in the reflective, of which there are degrees of that. And then, ultimately, you come to know the quality of holding a space, in a livable way, and learn that there is nothing to be found there in that because the highest way of living something is that of an emptiness.
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