A wise person once described the spiritual journey as being something like a rocket trip to the moon: it’s basically off-course every second, but with minute and incremental adjustments every step of the way, it reaches its destination in the end. This is how we develop and proceed, by refining how we are in our spiritual journey, by becoming better and better at it. In the process, who we were when we began slowly fades away, and where it is possible for us to go has expanded and changed completely. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: Now my meditation dream is a bit different. In the meditation dream, I can see a place where I’m going in my inner mind’s eye. In other words, as I’m sleeping, this is all happening in terms of kind of a lucid way of dreaming within, so as I’m dreaming within I can look and I can see something that is an outline of where something can be and how it can be.
It’s almost like on a distant landscape, and you could see this on this distant landscape way, way, way far away, as if you’re able to introspect, freeze-frame introspect, into a depth of yourself. So you can see that, but even in my sleep now the dilemma is to reach this place. So the fact that I see it there is something that compels me to try to reach this place, like an inner process is invoked by the fact that I know that there is such a place. And that such a place is something that I need to come closer, or to reach, or want to come closer to and reach.
But I have my mannerisms, and my bifurcations, or something, that affect that clearness. In other words, it’s clear to me what I see, but the vibration coming back is not as succinct. In other words, maybe there is a bit that shoots back and through, but it’s very subtle. It’s not as distinct as the seeing of what it is that I am seeing.
So the vibration that comes back is such that it’s so dumbed down, or subtle, that I’m still able to try to direct things this way or that way, in terms of how it is that I am. And in that directing of it this way and that way, I never do seem to catch up with this place. I always seem to be going around and around about things, always caught into some multiplicity of things.
However, the fact that I saw something, even if it’s a grayish image, you know, that is a freeze-frame of something, the fact that I saw that as a once upon a time maybe even, the fact that I saw that means that there is still something that must triculate a little bit to me, because I find myself in a modality that it continues to try to get there – even though the way that I am trying to get there will never get there. It’s still trying to do it with some sense of ideation, as opposed to letting go.
And so suddenly there’s like a shift. I can’t explain what caused all of that. It’s like a total letting go and just like the spinning or something, where something just drops away, and it’s more than just the distance between this and that. And so suddenly, in my awareness, this whole thing takes on a light and a coloration, which is like a light, and a newness compared to what was a dullness.
And that’s when I realize that what it was that I was proceeding towards, or looking at, or had an inflection of, as a consequence of the way that I have become wayward, my sense of that is more in keeping with a type of spiritual illusion. So, it’s as if that spiritual illusion had some sway nevertheless, because I adhered and held to that spiritual illusion as a form of controlled steerage as I proceeded with my own wayward mannerisms simultaneously to this subtle inflection that was one of internalized belief.
And so not being able to close the difference between this shadow image that I see, that is important somewhere out beyond where I am at, and how it is that I am going this way and that way is a frustration in the present. I can’t seem to tune out that frustration in the present because it has a loudness that holds my attention, where I nuance this way and that way, in terms of it, as opposed to just adhere to, or hold, something that is really kind of clear. But the clarity is compromised by my manneristic nature.
So there I sit, trying to sort things out, and as long as I am trying to sort things out a waywardness exists. Somehow something happens, and what I see in my mind’s eye changes. It becomes modernized. It just takes on a whole different, exciting appearance. It like gets really freshened up, as if some sort of energetic bifurcation got dropped so that the image comes across more deeply, and more succinctly.
And that’s how I come to know that the degree of a closeness to something is based upon having to get aligned in a way so that the loudness of my ideas and approach has to end. You’ve just got to suddenly let go of it. You’ve just got to drop it.
So that’s what that is here, suddenly a shift within, where I seem to make a big letting go step, and am suddenly able to recognize this place as being a wholeness that is refreshed and anew. It is similar to what I held in my mind’s eye as the place I needed to reach, but it had gotten discolored. It had gotten set in a particular defined way, because this letting go shift brightens and electrifies what is imaged, so that it’s not the same anymore.
So then I wake up, and the meaning is, there is a way of vying for the heart that comes from within as a subtleness that remains. Even if the best you can do with that faint, faint memory is not really true. Even it is an illusory way of looking at things.
So the connection is so quiet, meaning that the vibratoriness doesn’t come through; so it’s so quiet that the loudness of what you do in the outer causes you to mess with it by way of a blurriness that leads to an outer place defined with conceptualizations of the ideal.
So when I stop a waywardness that I deem important, I refresh to a connection that doesn’t have skewered, misappropriated images in a set time and space that I imagine. The distinction is like taking an inner faded black-and-white imagery, that is a freeze-frame inflection, adding color and light to it, thus renovating to modern times. Such a change is a night and day transformation of a preset imagination.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Refresh