Taking the Lead

hand-of-god-iphone-picture-louise-taylor
Louise Taylor

When we come to understand the real work involved in making a spiritual journey, we may ask the universe: why? And the answer lies in the fact that we have been given a special gift that no other form of life enjoys: freedom of choice. With such a freedom is great possibility, and great danger (as we see every day). From the universal perspective, we need to prove that we can be trusted to choose on behalf of higher purposes, rather than on behalf of lower desires. Our journey is a process of being surer and surer of the choices we make, and why.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the dreaming, it takes a lot of attention to be able to go to a deeper and deeper level inside myself. In other words, this is deep in the dream, and what’s going on is I have the whole sensation of a traveling in which there is two things. There is something that is there and then I have to catch it, and then there’s something that is there and I have to catch it, and I have to catch it, I have to catch it. And when I get up near the top it actually seems to level off a little bit, but still there is the attempt to catch it.

And, like I say, the sensation is like going up, and the direction is like that, within, in terms of the within, in terms of dream imagery. The sense is that of being drawn further and further and, as I said, there is even a leveling out in which it can seem slow at times because I can see myself waver at times. I could see myself look back. I could see myself see my physical condition when I waver; but even though I waver, I still keep going deeper and deeper.

And then eventually I reach a status quo, which is like the top of the in-breath, and what may have been difficult, such as my physical well being as I went deeper and deeper because when I glance back my physical well being may not be very good, I’ve reached a point where everything has stabilized and sound. So I’ve reached the top of an innerness. So there are no conditions, or order, or parts of self to glance back at anymore.

But then, all of a sudden, having gotten there, it switches. Now you start the out-breath, and so now it’s time to come back down into life from this inner depth. And the sensation is quite difficult because you’re doing it differently. Before you had the sensation of being pulled, or guided, or however you’d say, ascending. Now the sensation is different in that I seem to be a beingness that takes the lead, like the ego coming down. And, when I take the lead, it’s like I have to be careful, which means it’s like holding the hand of something on the deeper innerness.

I don’t just come completely down in some sort of helter skelter. So I’m coming back. Like I say, it’s different, it’s like having a hand to hold onto as I descend. And it is like something else is taking the lead – meaning my ego is taking the lead. Something else that was different in the ascent was more like the higher self, and now it’s like something is coming back into life which is more like a quality of ego now.

So when before it’s like being guided and pulled deeper and deeper as an upward sensation, and in coming down it’s different because you could come down in a way that isn’t paying proper attention. So in the coming down you have to be careful that you don’t, as a force of nature, disturb. Or, as I saw in the dream, I could come down and, if I’m not watching my step closely, I can set off a landslide right in front of me. But I am careful, and so if I do set off a landslide I don’t get caught in it. But I look and it could be a close call, but I’m holding the hand of something – so I’m careful.

So by holding onto the hand, of the inner, I see the devastation that my presence in a vibrational energetic is able to set off, in other words, my force of nature development, that is a force of nature because of the innerness that I am able to hold the hand of. But I do not get caught in it because I stay attentive.

In other words, you want to be invisible when you come into the outer. You don’t want to be out there loud and carrying on, and goofy again, because you’re going to get lost again. So the attempt is to proceed with as much care as possible so as to not cause too much, like I say, of the force of nature, and respect my whereabouts, and hereabouts, and thereabouts in terms of this motion back into life.

So I’m having to say that I was there. In other words, you could say that I can look now and can tell that I’m there when breakdowns occur, but I don’t get caught in it, and I was unaffected because I remained attentive to the unfoldment process from within – instead of its affect upon the outer.

The meaning is that I am shown the dynamic of going deeper and deeper with an inner awakening travel sensation, which is a letting go process in which I am taken. The difficulty in that is in the looking back when I should be letting go, there’s like step backs in my physical condition, and those step backs can be seen as in a state of duress because it isn’t accustomed to such a letting go and being taken somewhere deep within, that being what it’s about.

So when I come back into life after having done that, with the out-breath, it’s more consciously because I am coming from such an inner depth. I’m leaving the power and force of this inner depth, so I don’t just blank it out completely, so I watch my step. I’m careful. I have an honoring of that.

So the coming back is something that, when I’m attentive, I know about the inner consciousness, instead of just the outer, and so I know when things are fraught with danger, in terms of the outer, because everything’s changeable, can be affected.

So it is in coming back, if I am not in the proper frame of reference, in terms of the inner beingness from above, that is in the coming back kind of a type of guidance, or a type of knowingness, I will be a force in nature, a force in nature that can be harmful to myself. I may be a force of nature, anyway, whether I like it or not. I may set off landslides as it is.

So the ego can act as if this is okay, if it’s just irresponsible. And the ego, as far as the ego side of things goes, can just flick off such an effect, and the ego aspect of one’s self that one doesn’t buy into, and isn’t lost in, can let go, can step back at the right moment in time and save itself from over indulgence thanks to the hand of an inner guidance that it is able to adhere to.

So why did I have this dream? I had this dream to reach a recognition of inner into outer responsibility. It appears in this dream I am able to see and respect what there is in the outer and, therefore, have a handle on what could be, as long as I realize where I am, how I am, who is guiding me, and I follow what is necessary to tell that story, energetically, if nothing else.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Taking the Lead

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