Run Amok

add3In our waking life, as in our dreams, we can be going along smoothly, with the flow, or we can be careening through the world in an out of control way. In this image, the driver of a car is trying to get back to the main road, to get back on track. But the inner resistance is too great, so what should be an easy transition becomes a catastrophe. What is this saying? Sometimes, what we need to do to make a change requires a complete shedding, a total makeover, rather than just minor adjustments. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In this next dream, in trying to apply what I own, because you own something inside if you can just catch up with it, I drive as best I can across an area towards a public access road.

In other words, where I’m situated is there’s like a road, and the road goes let’s say east/west, and I’m driving to the north. And, initially, the road’s kind of in the middle, and then there’s a vegetable field on the other side. Can I even see the road? No, I don’t see the road, I just know that I have to get across this long stretch that is kind of desolate and, supposedly, reach this road.

Do I know that I am going to the road? No, not even even necessarily know that. I just know that I have to move across this distance. So I drive as best I can across an area, and I’m trying to follow an inner consciousness that seems to know how it is that I am to be – but in the outer that’s largely all a blur.

So what that means is that I’ve got this makeshift approach of the imagination as I try to proceed through, and contend with, my predicament, not even knowing that I’m in a predicament necessarily, or how to contend with it. So I go across this area, and I don’t even recognize that I hit a road. I overshoot, in other words, the road of consciousness that lies between where I am and the inner, or where I am and the outer, I should say, and instead of finding, or reaching, and accessing the in-between, that is kind of a horizontal east/west aspect, I don’t even notice it; I just go into a vegetable field.

In other words, everything just suddenly changes and I’m in a vegetable field, and the car is totally out of control. I can’t slow it down. I’m just smashing vegetables left and right, driving through this vegetable field. In such a run amok condition, and willy-nillyness, almost as if I can’t stop the car even if I wanted to. I’m in kind of a panic, too, because I know that this is embarrassing.

So before I’m able to even begin to think that I can rectify the situation, I’ve gone into the yard of the owner of the vegetable farm. I try to drive through the yard, and kind of think I can flip around or something, but there’s a barricade; I’m trapped. And so as I turn around in his driveway, I have to go by his house again, my self-consciousness is on high alert and I’m trying to act dumb, look dumb, play dumb in a nonchalant way – as if this is going to help me get out of there.

It doesn’t work. The owner stops me. So, he directs me to get out. So what can you do? So I get out because the jig is up. As I look at myself, what you see is a person that’s embarrassed, and I hadn’t realized what a strange looking creature I am.

He starts to shear me. Takes out stuff and he just starts to shear me. So I’m of the opinion I’m being punished and this is a form of torture. Then, at some point, he hands me off to helpers after having done the initial workmanship, or whatever you want to call it. And, little by little, I’m changed into an appearance that is pleasant to look at, and so much different, that I don’t even recognize how I had been before because I’m a whole new being.

I’m stunned by the transformation. I look a bit younger, and my appearance is actually pleasant when before I was ghastly looking, as I was doing my best, in a subrogated way, to catch up with an inner consciousness. Because as I’m driving I’m reflecting back to an echo of something inside, and the echo inside is saying: just keep going, just play dumb, don’t look, all kinds of different things it’s doing, because I can’t face the cringing.

And that’s doing my best. That’s the best that it was. That’s how it was at that time, in that way. So I’m doing my best in a subrogated way to rehear an inner consciousness as I flounder about in what… I call it a semi-coherent fashion because there is something that’s saying, okay, okay, don’t look, play dumb, step on it, turn around, don’t look at the owner when you see him, try to drive by him, and none of that works.

So I wake up thinking, now that I’ve seen myself all changed, and different, and I look more like the helpers that have been helping me now, that I also look a little like Peter Pan, a mythical being who, as the story goes, awoke from a trance to find that in his new reality he had been transformed into an awakened beingness.

So that’s the fix right? That’s the fix from the veil. That’s how you get out of the veil. You don’t extricate yourself out of the veil; all you do is just make more mistakes. Hear the echo. Hopefully the echo is enough that it draws you to a point where something can actually be done about it all. Otherwise, you know, the dumbness prevails. You keep yourself deluded.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Run Amok

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s