Being Accountable

rs33tWe have seen how our dreams are always trying to help us make inner connections, and give us guidance, for how to handle the processes of life. Yet we can also, consciously, take our outer situation, and, in this example, the outer situation is a health issue, and bring it into our inner processes for letting go and healing. This idea helps us to remember that we really are a wholeness, and that our systems want to help us heal and have the best opportunity for succeeding on our way. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: When I went into the meditation, I had this strange physical condition, in that there was something that was impacting the way I was able to hold the space within, something that held my attention in kind of a way that was caused a constant echoing pain. And so this resulted in the meditation dream being something that I had to take into account, or utilize, or otherwise it would predominate, in order to truly let go.

Now, in the past, when I’ve had it, I have taken whatever the illness is and incorporated it into the dream and got it to dissipate, or lose its overriding sense of significance. And this had to be handled in somewhat the same way, in that if one continued to look at it, in terms of its significance, in terms of its loudness, you wouldn’t hear, or recognize, anything else but that. And I know that I have this quality inside of myself that’s able to absorb the characteristics of other things around me without being infected.

So, somehow, I found myself having to utilize this principle, pulling it all into a quality of wholeness, and, to what degree was I able to do that? There was this in-between zone that came up in which that there was something that I could sensate, that had the deep innerness, and then there was something in the physical that was not affected – in which that was all not in the ordinary, but just a dense, dense state.

And so, then, in-between would be then this point where I was neither in the inner, and neither in the outer, or be this kind of middle zone. And so this is a place where you don’t actually go anywhere, but you’re not really in the physical, and you’re not in the inner, but, by not being in the physical your ego and senses don’t quite come together under any kind of spellbound control – and so there’s no way of indulging. You’re not really indulging, in other words. You’re just in-between. You’re not really going anywhere.

And so the sensation was, then, hallucinogenic, and various things would pop in, like I would see, for example, options that could be used to rectify, or accommodate, being able to get used to the eye, for example, hurting, like one of them was even seeing that I had reached a point where I was able to give back the bottle, or whatever, that one used to drop something in the eye.

And I notice that when I went into the space that resulted in that, I recognized that I had gone into an area where the two conditions predominated: one of sheer physical density, not thinking and contending with anything, just blindly going forward. And then, the other, that had this huge innerness, that had a sense and sensibility about it. And noticed that the result, then, was like another beingness that couldn’t sort itself out very well, that was caught by moods and stuff, and the moods were the father, and the beingness, when it figured that out, was able to kind of support and hold that overall space. But it didn’t do anything for my condition, other than suggest that I push my way quite a ways through.

So that was like the meditation dream, and so then the sleep dream had to be done in a way so that you weren’t in this in-between state with the quality of something keeping you from going somewhere.

So the sense of letting go, again, the greater letting go, had the sense of like images of pouring water over your head, in a way of kind of cleansing, of which to do all of that resulted in kind of another kind of battle over the fact that, who has the right to do this? Which was whatever was the predominant energy, in terms of what I was holding out on.

Or instead of the image of what one could do, in terms of regulating and focusing the soul energy over the equation, I had the dream glimpses of being able to get out of the car and move in a way in which your feet would be washed, again a way of cleaning and letting go, so that something more can happen.

And then in terms of laying here, prior to the alarm going off, and even after the alarm going off, there was a soothing state that had that kind of quality and condition about it. In other words, there wasn’t the mannerism that’s projected in terms of having to sustain a particular modality. It’s as if what took place pointed out the absurdity of that, because a lot of that middle zone that one contended with stayed as a middle zone, because one couldn’t find the fluidity properly, just was continually acting up in a last second way that was kind of jarring you, and so had to be held accountable by this whole new way, deeper way, of being.

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