Illusory Thoughts

M. C. Escher

Have you ever been all dreamy and in love, and then, one day, you saw the other person clearly, and it was over? That dreamy phase is the relationship we have with the outer world. We’re so enamored that it doesn’t matter what it does to us, or how it treats us, we keep doing everything for it. A spiritual journey is the moment of clarity when we say to the outer world: “Enough! I’m not getting what I need in this relationship.”  And “what I need” really translates to being connected to, and in service to, something much greater than the outer, which is the inner, which is where we can create the relationship that we were designed to find. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My sleep dream, meditation dream, was quite a bit like that, and then I had to understand really what it was saying through the sleep dreams, because in the meditation dream I find myself unable to experience myself from an outer flow.

In other words, I can’t do it in the outer flow, from the outer flow. In other words, it’s not like it is the outer flow. So, as a result, I’m unable to break the effect of projections. In other words, the outer flow and the projections are just there. I’m not going to break that, I’m not going to change that, and they impose an effect that is part of a waking up, I guess, or however you’d say that. I come to know that that’s not actually real, but, nevertheless, there’s still nothing I can do about it.

So, in the meditation dream, I am aware that what is being imposed upon me is not real, and is, you might say from one way of looking at it, therefore kind of basically unacceptable. Nevertheless, even though I know that I am supposed to be able to get away from the projections, try as I might, I’m not able to do it.

So in the meditation dream I’m appalled. You know, in other words, when you look at things you’re appalled, and the sensation is that of being continuously abused because things are just always in flux, which is frustrating because one is trapped by that, which you know isn’t right. You know that there is something else.

I know that I am not meant to be a person helpless to the momentum of outer projections. That’s like the dream, and within this meditation dream there was this whole sense of the other all the time – even though this was my condition.

And the meaning is, if you look at it really closely, this is a dream that’s exemplifying the bewilderment associated with being caught in the momentous intensity of the out-breath. Because it’s the out-breath; it’s in the chaos of things. It’s away from the stillness. And I know that the out-breath, per se, projects illusory thoughts.

In the meditation dream, over and over again I am compelled to accept the fate of the projected thoughts. So this is my condition in manifestation, even though I know the projections are imposed. I cannot free myself from such outer projections. I know that I am being victimized against free will; a deeper will.

In spite of being thwarted to having to contend with this plight, I know better. I never lose the sense that I have that there is a primordial stillness which makes everything right. I know this to be so, so much so, that I am shocked when the projections keep predominating. I know the projections are powerless from the echo of a stillness I am not reaching.

So what I am really talking about is a wonderful sensation that comes from the in-breath to out-breath interval where all is as it is meant to be, which is peaceful and still, and yet that has to be experienced, and is experienced, and caught up with in the chaos. The in-breath and the out-breath is the chaos. So that’s the meditation dream.

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