In the “woke” world, people are having to confront their personal biases which, for a long time, might have been accepted as “normal,” depending on a person’s upbringing or the area they lived in. Perhaps that is a sign that we need to become more aware of our inner biases, the ones that cause us to dismiss subtle energetic nudges we may sense, or to think that deep spirituality is for someone else. We are all spiritual beings, we just happen to live in a disconnected world. It is a freedom of choice for each us to answer the call of the spiritual, which we are all designed to do, and it is also a safety because the universe will always be there for us, it just might not be here for us – i.e., in this society and culture. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: That’s very similar to my second dream, which is hardly a dream in a way, in that in this dream it is my impression, as I’m seeing myself affected by things in life, that the situation I am looking at is providing me the most direct test of my being.
In other words, you’re being tested to figure out how to wrap something up, and, in the process of your ideas of how something is to be wrapped up you get yourself all contorted. And in my case, what I mean by that, the situation I’m finding that I’m in, in a roundabout way I could say that I wouldn’t fall for most things, or, in other words, the situation could’ve been simpler.
In other words, my idea of having to contend with stuff, just like you have your ways of having to contend with things, only this time I’m reporting it to myself that if it wasn’t like this, then something would’ve been lost, or left, that’s desired to grasp.
So what I’m doing is I’m coming to recognize that I actually seem to need an outer atmosphere where I am compelled to face a shadow part of myself, in a more intensely direct way, because if it’s too simplistic I just don’t wake up. In other words, the scenario I choose isn’t just intense. It’s kind of like a dream that enables one to actually somehow kind of laugh at it, but not of course at the time, and so in being able to step back there’s a thankfulness that it was the way that it was because I am able to somehow not stay as deluded as I might have stayed – if things were simpler, where I didn’t have to probe or go to some sort of more direct depth inside of myself.
In other words, I’m thankful that the illusions that I’m presented with, that are not just intense but they repeat when I don’t get it, over and over again, and what is also interesting is it’s a little bit like in a football game where you see all the different angles of the play, I see it from every angle there is, and, from some angles I protest defensively, but when the entire situation is revealed I’m inclined to get it.
So as I notice what I am buying into in the outer I’m grateful that the reflectiveness I have chosen to experience in the outer is the way it is, because I seem to need every bit of that to break the grips of my reflective identity trance. Well, that was the sleep dream.
The meditation dream, I see myself abiding in the light. In other words, I go to some sort of really deep depth inside and, as still as it is, I still somehow denote that I’m engulfed in something.
What I’m engulfed in, what I’m abiding in, is, at this point yet, just a type of vibrational presence that’s all-encompassing. And, while in this all-inclusive radiating spatiality, this abiding presence that’s deep within, as I see it deep within, exists and radiates it in however that atmosphere is within, radiates everywhere.
So to come back, in other words, to kind of come out of that and start one’s way back into where you have dreams and reactions and such, to come back is to lucid dream myself as if moving about in this light more freely. Instead when I was there initially, as a vibration, that had an overall exuding presence it was just the stillness, but now I’m starting to move about a little.
And I get finally to a point where it is time to open my eyes, and that’s when I notice that the vibratory presence not only just doesn’t dissipate when I’m back in the outer, where I seek to make myself known, but I can’t make whatever that was as a presence known because not only is the stillness gone, but so is the presence that is part of it.
When you lose that you kind of get to grappling, and you get into indulgence that grab a hold of you. And from what seemed obvious when I was more present in the light, and in a vibrational overallness, I no longer have the sensibilities. You tend to contend with things, and what’s missing that is kind of the mirror, is this vibratory presence that you have that you can exude with. You have to have that as kind of a listening tool, or otherwise you get caught in every little thing that gets thrown at you. You don’t hold the note.
So the significance of the experience is that I am noticing a meaningfulness I am trying to wake up with. This meaningfulness is a vibrational presence. This meaningfulness is kind of becoming more and more apparent. In other words, I’m kind of noticing this, in myself, as there being something there as if I have a watcher kind of quality.
Yet, even so, when I come back into the outer I come back as some sort of aspected thought that has usurped the meaningfulness. And what is meaningful is, how much of this am I able to radiate energetically? That’s what’s meaningful, in other words, not that I come back as a thought. That means that something has gotten lost, or washed out, and it’s behind that is what is meaningful.
So, a permeating, from inner into outer, when deep in the inner to try to bring it into the outer, is getting engulfed. Instead of engulfed as an innerness, it’s getting engulfed by the reflective outer effects. What I’m beginning to notice more and more is when I hold onto the inner vibratoriness and exude to reflective inflections, to some degree, a subtleness from the inner touches.
The same degree I’m talking about is outside of time and space. The same degree is what nourishes life. The same degree is what our dense nature veils. The same degree is what the heart yearns to experience in everything it touches. The same degree, in its inner most condition, is all there is.
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