Something Is Missing

Sun_insion)When we are in contact with the aura of another person, energies are exchanged. When we are within the radiation of a teacher, what is exchanged is the expertise of that teacher. Meaning we will understand things better, see things more clearly, and learn more quickly when we are in their energetic field. This is true of a real spiritual teacher, or anyone with expertise or facility in some area or another: a musician, an artist, a good mother, a good athlete, a good cook. The laws of energy are the same: the stronger radiation transfers to the weaker radiation, in the sense of teacher to student, and the student benefits from the transference. But, of course, the student must take up the practice of what is transferred, making it their own, otherwise, when the student is alone, the transference will eventually dissipate with little gained. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my meditation dream, because the atmosphere that I am accustomed to here is different, or has changed, in that apparently I must miss some level inside myself, that Dee brings to bear, that facilitates a connection that I’ve come to expect, and, I guess, perhaps even take for granted.

I’m noticing the difficulty, somehow. There was something imperatively important, or intertwined, in terms of that relationship. The way it’s seen in the dream is I’m traveling into an area in which I’m struggling to find the natural knowingness that corresponds with the inner guidepost. Usually, I don’t have to struggle. Usually, somehow or another, there is a natural grounded presence that makes this possible.

And this area I travel into is, when you kind of view it from within, from the level of the soul or something, because apparently this connection must be on a soul level that makes for a greater wholeness, I have an awareness that I have just naturally gotten accustomed and acclimated to expecting this being there, and treating it as part of my overall atmosphere. But this time is different.

So, of course, to make sure that I document this I made a note to what I call energetic self, that I believe, on a subtle level, this is an area that Dee has honed, and that I am able to benefit from a connection that is invisibly there as part of us. So I am having to access the depth, based upon what I am familiar with in terms of my soul nature from long ago. And this isn’t very balanced, or at least not as balanced, based upon how the dream portrays this.

So, in the meditation dream, I go away from the we’ll call it the Dee energy guide, which is not succinct like it usually is on the inner vibrational plane level. And so I go off on a side journey that’s in communion, or union, but not me. In continuing this, I see myself going into a place where I was stuck way out there vibrationally, trying to speak in an aloneness long ago, until after a very long time in this limbo I come to know that there was a subtle sensation missing. And, as a result, I find myself in this kind of Bardo area, in other words, not able to travel in the way that I’m accustomed to traveling, having made like a type of energetic detour and not knowing my north, south, east or west.

So I find myself back into a place where I had been ages and eons ago, long, long ago, in certain terms of some sort of energetic soul memory, which was a self-imposed kind of purgatory that lacks a lot of sensation that’s necessary – and so I’m really kind of compacted. At least I have a background. In other words, I’m trying to rationalize this because I’m familiar with this place that I fell back into without something that had bolstered me so that I no longer held out in that way.

So I’m trying to rationalize, and I’m saying, well, at least I have a background on this inner soul level from which to fall back upon to sort things out, because I’ve been to this place before. It was there for a long, long time, stuck there for a long time, figuring I have to do the best because without a presence on an inner soul stillness, that somehow or another is associated with Dee’s vibration, which is removed from the atmosphere, means that I have to tread through this Bardo area in terms of a soul clarity, break out of the sensation limitation, and aloneness, and do it on my own.

So I seem to have done that, because I seem to have spent enough time there to know the difference, in that I am able to come back to a point, as if I can follow that echo back to that point, and do so in spite of a kind of amnesia where I don’t know where to go from there. It’s like I miss an energetic bridge within, that’s a linkage I’m meant to have.

I could have gotten quite distraught, but of course on an inner level you don’t do that, you just sit in a confusion, because I noticed that I didn’t have the insight, an insight that I took to be a quality of a stillness. In other words, it keeps one from jumping around too energetically, or reacting in too great a way, this way or that way, which is what I seem to have when Dee’s inner soul presence is there.

So, enough of something is here, though, in terms of a growth process, from an innerness in which I seem to be situated without time, that I can kind of sort out, or describe, the distinction of what had been, and what now is, meaning that I don’t have the stillness as honed as it was before.

And I just have to notice that, on my own, it’s as if things are just going to be a little more vibrational, and vibrations lead to pain, or, therefore, a little more painful than usual, as the price for the break in the intertwined linkage of my inner beingness.

So, I guess I can conclude that I still need help, however, in that a natural, at peace, stillness in which an inner soul faith is always there for me, it’s not something that I have fully embodied yet on my own.

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