The Impairment

images-2Many things can affect our performance during the day: lack of sleep, bad dreams, external pressures, even fear. And these same issues, and many, many more, also affect our ability to respond to our spiritual side. Our higher self always wants to communicate with us, and offer guidance, but if we are overcrowded with other matters the subtlety of the higher aspects within will have difficulty rising to our consciousness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: And so, in the next dream, I am at a program, and I’m trying to remember if I got a room for a couple of nights in a nearby town, as if I’m determining when it’s time to leave the program. I did get a room for two nights, but when did I do it? And so I have this need to check to see if I did so at this time, or not, because I just don’t know for sure.

In a way it kind of makes sense that maybe I might have because there has been a slight change in the schedule. And it would be good maybe to leave a day early because it’s changed. But if I did the two days this week, as opposed to the next week, I need to actually cancel

it because today is something that’s still important. It’s not time to go for today, but tomorrow night would be okay if I actually did it.

But if I didn’t do it, and it’s for a week from now that I did my two days, I can go along with that too. The thing is, did I anticipate somehow know that there was going to be a gap in the current program that I signed up for, and somehow took this into account? It doesn’t make sense that I would have booked a room somewhere else, at this time, because how was I to know that there would be this gap, or this opening, to where one could check out?

So, I must have been kind of following this mannerism inside that I don’t know for sure, that I have to check, and I have to adjust, if I actually did do this, to cancel that for tonight; tomorrow would be okay, if I’ve done that that way.

So in the confusion, between the two places, as the dream shifts a bit and suddenly you and I are at a ticket counter, and I’ve gone up there with something noodling behind me to ask some pressing question, but I can’t remember why this was so important. Yet here I am, suddenly at the counter, needing to ask a question and, just before I engage the clerk, having kind of obsoleted the issue of why I’m there, because I have apparently resolved it already deep within, you go ahead and tell me that because you are kind of covering the overallness of things somehow, as opposed to the detail, and you say that we’re a little early that they don’t give out the boarding pass for another five minutes.

In others words, we’re still with the program with the shift, but the sight of a clarity of something coming through has changed. Yet, I’m a little amnesic and don’t remember because it’s changed within. And I got it within, but then the memo coming through to the outer didn’t quite gel. And there you are all ready to get the boarding passes.

And then, as I wake up, this is how I learned how the responsibility goes beyond me, a voice says: it’s not your fault. In other words, it’s a discombobulation of myself that gets all wafty. And the greater sight, that I’m meant to catch up with, I didn’t quite catch up with and went stupefied.

So what is going on is I am affected by a stigma that clouds my sense of composure. It affected me in my sense of balance and composure. I was not able to let go of the mannerism. I was supposed to be at a place within that isn’t mired anymore by that sort of thing. I failed this test. It was a test I was not ready to uphold unremittingly yet. In other words, where it’s really clear.

The fact I fell into a stupor and dulling mood because of an affect that got taken in somehow or another was not my fault. My higher self knows better. In other words, it just didn’t get the memo through to where I would have seen it, recognized it, and brought it through – instead of leaving you at the counter still saying, okay, well now we just wait five more minutes and we can get our boarding passes.

So upon accepting that and letting go, what existed was like a projected woundology, on another path, or of me being in another spaciality, not with the succinctness of something coming through my other path, like being caught in the outer nuances of things. That needs to fall away to where you have the one-to-one correspondence, above and below.

So the meaning, too, is what we’re able to see, be, and how, is correlated to where we are at, in the heart, energetically. This is how you would say it, maybe more in a masculine way. How you would say it in a feminine way I’m not exactly sure. But the masculine feels it as a quickened energetic, and in that energetic is knowingness.

So if there is a heaviness or confusion that remains, this confusion shapes what we are able to hear, see, and know and our resultant actions in the outer. And, from the meditation dream, I’m seeing that I cannot sort myself out to what I need to be experiencing, and realizing, and going through when I am beleaguered – a burden I have to let go of.

And, as you get more and more conscious, things change, you will affect things more and more, and, therefore, you have more to contend with. So such a weightiness on the heart causes me to be energetically impaired, and the world around me suffers accordingly. To let go enables me to access the inner essence without all of this otherness clouding up the relationship The other is there, but there is too much on board to reach it directly, so I remain overly clamored up.

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