If we ask: who is in charge inside of us?, we may get all sorts of answers. We think it is the same “person” all the time, but is it? Who is in charge when we declare that we are going on a diet, or getting a new job, or going to the gym? And who is in charge when we eat the extra ice cream, show up for work, or hang out on the sofa again. We may believe it is still the same decider, but it isn’t: these are the many lives within. That’s why it is so important to focus on something greater than ourselves, otherwise we will constantly fall to the struggle of different agendas. For us to make our journey, we are best served if we become a team all focused on the same goals. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So that’s best portrayed in my second dream, in terms of how it is that you work in a deflective capacity, a capacity that causes the stillness to keep coming, or the emptiness to keep coming, across in ways that are outside of perspective, or of definition.
So, in this dream, there is a silent edge in terms of how my psyche works; silent edge. I am shown that edge in the following dream. In the dream, those parts of myself that come into my house are inclined to feel an aloneness, about me, that they do not know how to put their finger upon. So they’re studying that, they’re trying to figure it out.
And, since we’ve been gone, even though they’ve appreciated this whole quality, now they’re kind of looking at that, but they have caught up with that quality in a type of snuffing density. So it is this aloneness that is my out-of-the-blue surprise. Whenever someone has an opinion about how I am, that is when I must excel in my psyche state; a psyche state that is never what is portrayed.
So, in the dream, into my house where I am alone have come those who are curious in wanting to know what is going on. Not only are they curious, but they think they know what’s going on. So I can see that, and, however they look, I know that they are out of sync in terms of what exists. And what exists, of course, is this empty space where everything is known.
I have developed almost like a tool bag of options, and mannerisms, to contend with every perceptive occasion – as a kind of defense mechanism to a heart that has been stifled so many times by blind-sidedness and stuff like that, by tricks, by illusions, by all of this kind of gamesmanship. I can recognize the affairs, the labeling, the incidents, so to speak, in advance. I can just feel them: I’m not fooled, it troubles me. I can spot it inside my heart.
And the way it works is like this, this is the image: I line up in the backfield, inside my house now, into what is like a football game. On the other side are the dense parts that think that they have it all figured out in terms of how to contend with how something is to flow. So if I am discounted, and no one is paying attention to me, I can take the ball and penetrate the defense. I do it in my aloneness. I can feel the stillness, within, that is not being noticed in the outer.
If others suddenly pay attention to me, I look to where they aren’t looking, and that energetic comes alive. If the quarterback – I’m not necessarily the quarterback, I’m kind of the secret weapon – if the quarterback is being watched, for example, the ball won’t even be hiked to the quarterback, but it’ll be hiked to someone else on the backfield. And then as everyone tries to adjust, or shift, accordingly, the ball then gets lateraled back to the quarterback, who is now able to scramble, or do whatever else he does best, because the playbook is now all open again. In other words, constantly keeping things from being labeled, or put into parameters of manipulation.
The secret to the options is the fanfare that is being directed towards the way things are. In other words, it must be constantly deflected, because once it gets rigidified it’s stifling, it’s choking. Everyone in the backfield of the team, that is me, needs to feel a stillness of their beingness, and, when they do, the empty spaces come alive. And that which is possible is able to flow in this new kind of octave.
The effect of this is as if the other parts of myself are constantly out of sync. In the outer you never, ever, really know what is going on, so you have to keep throwing at this denser outer part of yourself, the parts that are in manifestation. You have to keep the flow that there is so much, so much bigger and more going on – that it gets it – because if it gets in sync, the silence and stillness is accentuated. If it doesn’t get in sync to that flow of a letting go, then it gets demystified. And then you get back into something that’s choking and stifling.
So what I am describing is a pent up condition that is able to access a presence within that others aren’t noticing. When they notice how I am, that is when I must shift. I can never be in the same place twice because that’s when a labeling is occurring. I am always reaching to the empty space stillness where the potentiality is wide open.
So, the key, more than anything else, is the danger, because over and over again things get swallowed up, in some fashion or another, because we live in a situation in which the odds are overwhelming in terms of the consciousness of how things are around us. So the danger of such a dilemma is if I am violated, by some energetic mannerism or another, that compromises my stillness of being, I become crazed. I become unsettled. I get tangential.
When you lose your spaciality, then you lose your freedom. Because it’s in the spaciality, the joy, the glee or something, the freedom. So what is the subtle problem? As long as I am able to free-flow in a way that isn’t definable, except as I choose to project (and that’s the danger), we have to hand through ourselves something and let this around us get it. And they will know what’s best.
The other parts of myself, which remain basic in nature and densely oriented, will not tear me down. In other words, they’ll tear me down if what I’m doing is something that is attempting to cause something to occur. I don’t cause something to occur. I instead do something that is rather different, in that what I perceive I release and let others carry from there. And if I can do that, then I’m operating in a greater capacity of myself inside of the atmosphere. But if I don’t do that, then I am struggling in the atmosphere.
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