Sending Up Flares

3gesSometimes we run amok. Or, we could say, a part of us runs amok, because are we ever really in full agreement with ourselves? Usually, one part of us overrides another part, and then we feel the stress of it. Sometimes it gets to the point where we have to send up flares, from ourself, to ourself, so that we can see where we are and where we’re headed. As we’ve said, we are all the characters in our dreams, and sometimes we act against our own wishes. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: This dream was preceded by two images. One image was that there were bugs everywhere and every time I turned a page the bugs just gobbled that page up, too. I just couldn’t get away from the bugs.

But, in terms of the meaning of this dream, I wrote I am feeling of chaos inside over a waywardness that I feel in the outer, and to know what I need to know in terms of my whereabouts, parts of self, what I am to do, what I need to see, who I need to be, etc. I need to set aside, let go of, a waywardness vibration that is unsettling to a heart that is able to put things out – to extricate itself from its delirium.

When basically I stop. It’s not a matter of being encumbered or unencumbered, although that’s one way of trying to look at it. I just need to settle back because something is coming into vision. There is a knowing, but I will not catch up with it if I’m in an unsettled state.

And then, also with that, there was an image of where this guy could take his head and he could stick it through a hole on the back of a chair. It was about yay big. And so to avoid some issue, or to turn his attention differently, he would take and he’d stick his head through this hole. I was just amazed how he got his head through this little small hole. I was wondering if I could even put my head through that small hole. I don’t think I could, but he certainly could.

And so when you take and you put all of that together, what I’m doing is I’m describing a breakdown, in the outer, that I’m feeling within, and I’m trying to reach beyond. And I am carrying an unsettling sensation, I can’t shake, of an impending chaos, which is something I’m not prepared for – that will overrun everywhere I turn – while I seek to deny and not face it.

That’s the condition that I seem to be encumbered with in the outer. But the meditation dream is much more interesting in that it portrays something more in terms of how something can work. It also portrays how I am that isn’t conscious enough in that process, but does portray

how it can come together and work.

In this dream, I see myself shooting off flare markers into a rectangular field. I have a sense of the field, it’s maybe about 80 acres or so, just to take a guess, and it’s a flat field. I don’t get the memo, but it is said that you shoot these flare markers you can’t go over a certain line. You stay within the center of this field. And from there, you can shoot these markers out to the edges of the field. In other words, this is how you’re able to denote your circumference of your overall beingness of this place, is you shoot these flares out.

But here I am with my flare gun, and you only have so many markers in order to denote this for purposes of being able to come back to it; for recollection purposes or something, because in the depth of where I’m at, in this dream state, I can see everything plainly and clearly. But that isn’t the point. The point is to be able to come back to these markers.

And so I don’t stay where the line’s at and I walk around the peripheral of it and shoot the flares off. And, of course, that leads to a disaster because these marker flares I eventually run out of before I’ve made it all the way around the field.

Now, fortunately, there was a woman that followed the prime directive of realizing that you had to make sure that you had to have things marked, or the ability to look at everything in the circumference of things. So she stayed where the line was at, and shot these flares out.

So when I ran out of flares, I realized, wow, it’s a good thing she’s doing it right, because there will be some flares. It would have been nice if there’d have been more flares, but I blew it.

And then I realize, oh, my goodness, there was some other crazy person that ran out in the area where we were shooting the flares off, and so there’s a whole spot that we didn’t dare shoot any flares into because we might hit him. And so I’m having to pull that into a depth of remembrance that I have to hold on to. In other words, I can’t just have the flares out there that I come back to as kind of a remembrance; I have to seal that image of this area.

The idea of being able to come back to the markers is almost an idea that still incorporates somewhat of a sense of the senses, where you can leave notes to yourself, so to speak. But a deeper depth, which this dream is portraying, is that to really get it you have to somehow or another have access to the knowingness from having freeze-framed it, so to speak, at an inner, inner depth.

So what occurred last night was that was the depth, in terms of the meditation. But in terms of the way that that is approached, the way that is being approached, the way that is unfolding that’s a whole other thing.

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Losing More and More

WorldVEver have one of those days? Of course, we may have them all the time, where we lose something we need, we miss a connection, something that was supposed to happen, didn’t. We can have those nights, too, where our dreams feel the same way. And in both instances, perhaps, what we are being shown is that we are energetically ungrounded, and out of balance, which makes us vulnerable to being affected by other energies at play. Spiritual development helps us strengthen this aspect of ourselves, so we are less affected by randomness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I only really remember my dreams last night is it felt like I kept having the same dream, in that it was outdoors, in kind of hilly country, it was usually sunny. And it was like I and some other people were pursuing someone. We’re trying to catch them and bring them back for something they’d done. But it felt like it just kept repeating, but I never could quite get a hold of it.

John: There’s a whole sensation of trying to catch up with something, from a depth within, that is kind of the running schematic, and it’s kind of a prime directive, too, in that deep down we’re kind of compelled to having to realize a greater part of ourself.

And that realizing a greater part of ourself, a part that takes us outside of our time and space limitations, that is kept in place by the trance of senses and mind, to catch up with that greater part of ourself is to go to the all-pervasive soul in our nature.

Well, it’s pretty hard to do because everything around us is causing our attention to go this way and that way – and yet there is that echo. And so what you’re doing is, is you’re reverbing and reverbing, as if trying to come to the grips of this echo that you feel affecting you.

That’s very similar to my second dream, which also has a quality of floundering about. In this dream, I’m inside. I’ve traveled to and am inside a multi-story building, that’s huge. And there’s several floor levels. I don’t know how many, but each floor I know is huge. And that it’s a maze just to go in any given floor.

And it’s kind of a glorified hospital, although there seems to be other things going on, like businesses and merchants in this place, too, but each floor has a central nursing station. That’s how one knows it’s kind of a glorified hospital. There’s just people everywhere that can grab your attention and cause you to be distracted, or to get confused, and get lost.

So I have come to this building and am up on the second floor, I seem to know that there’s a person I need to find that’s on this second floor. And I’ve come with a friend, but we get separated on the second floor. And in my moving about on the second floor, trying to find the person who I’ve come here to visit, I also set down a bag that I was carrying. Fortunately, I can recollect where I set that bag down, because I left it at the nursing station.

Even though somehow, deep deep down, I have a sense that the person I’m looking for is on the second floor, and that my friend is somewhere wandering around on the second floor, too, I end up going to the third floor. And when I go to the third floor, it’s like I’m even more spaced out. And I get really enamored at looking at all of the myriad of things going on on the third floor.

And at some point I even leave my notebook behind, my dream notebook, which is important to me that I apparently was carrying, too. And it’s almost like I’m so amnesic that I have no idea where I might have left it, except that it was somewhere on this floor. And it all kind of starts to gel, my predicament, when, in my wandering about, I come to the nursing station on the third floor. It’s then that I realize, oh my goodness, I need to get out of this enamored condition that I’m in, and I also need to find my notebook. And I need to get back to where I need to be looking, retrieve my bag and such.

I know I should take steps that go between nursing stations, but instead I wander off as if something will pop in, or something will help me, or I’ll accidentally get a inkling as to where I set my notebook down. When, all of a sudden, actually by complete total surprise, fate would have it that I see the notebook – and it’s laying on the floor. So I go over to pick up the notebook and, as I pick it up, this guy grabs at it and he says: this is mine. And he claims he knows it’s his because it has the three rings, spiral binding, or whatever it was that he portrayed.

I look at the notebook, and the notebook has all that scratching out and scribbling that I do. And, on this particular page where it’s open, there’s more scribbling and complete blanking out than there is anything written. And so I look down and I can read my writing. So I know it’s my notebook.

So to free myself, again, of how I need to proceed, he’s got the notebook, I’ve got the notebook, and so I need to go. I can’t be just sitting there tugging away. So I bend over and I bite him on the wrist to get him to let go.

So now with my notebook in hand, I now know that I go back to the nursing station on the second floor, probably ask at the nursing station rather just continuing to keep wandering around, probably will find the person I’m looking for – they’re on the second floor. Probably somewhere in that vicinity or area on the second floor I’ll also probably run into my friend. And there at the nursing station I conveniently laid my bag down – I can retrieve that, too. That’s when I wake up.

So this is the same dream that you had, so to speak, in that there was this reverbing around to try to zoom in on something or another that is meant to be, that is trying to come out, is trying to make itself known. You don’t even have a very good guess at what that is, but you’re haunted by it nevertheless. That’s how your dream is.

And in my dream, my inclination is to keep going up where it gets less clear and less clear. And I keep losing more and more of myself. But what I’m losing is important, too. And what I need is more grounded on the second floor, which is another image in which something isn’t quite grounded as it needs to be.

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An Early State

21328Everything is able to choose. Eat, or don’t eat. Fight, or flight. Rise, or sleep. Yet these are in the realms of the automatic and instinctual, our system’s way of guiding us toward survival and continuance. The human, however, has a higher level of choice, in that it can even go against these instincts in the pursuit of what it seeks. But, of course, it is designed to seek its fulfillment according to its higher self, or higher purposes. This is a level beyond planetary survival, and toward universal service. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: This causes something to evolve. And it’s the human condition that causes something to come out of the vacuum. So, as an overall wholeness, and in a natural free flow, when there is nothing to see or hear, I just am. But, like I say, there’s more than just being “am.”

Well, what caused the dream to be like this, is I’m looking at the idea of letting go, and how just straight away pure letting go results in catching up with something going on. Yet pure, straightaway, letting go, the human condition has to be in there.

The human condition does come into play, again, in that I evolve. I come out of a demiurge where a Garden of Eden, or however it was, I’m in the Garden of Eden having come out of the demiurge. And now I’m in the Garden of Eden but I haven’t yet clicked, I haven’t yet developed my freedom of choice. I don’t yet take into account the serpent. I don’t yet take into account a consciousness that pulls the above and the below together, the light and the sound.

So that’s the meditation dream. And the reason for the dream: to bring me back to the frame of reference of the world soul, which just is, as a state, in which freedom of choice exists. Or, in other words, the consciousness must come that is so let go that it’s as if non-existent, but that’s too subjective, too angelic even, if it’s even angelic. Too presumptive.

So appreciation begins when I am able to reflect upon my humanistic condition, veiled, and it’s veiled by choice. I come out of just the amnesia of it, come to see it. And, in terms of contending with it, things get veiled.

So it’s veiled by choice, as I’m exercising freedom of choice. In other words, not knowing how to bridge this gap between sound and light. It’s more than me. I do not know what suffering is like, to begin with, when I’m just in this periphery of it all. In other words, it’s just set forth because the Kundalini energy also has its unfathomable side; I can acknowledge it’s there, but I just have this blind trust, with no reason to know how that is, that I will just continue to do the other.

But, sooner or later, the secret substance of my greater overall beingness will get violated. It’s not yet violated in the dream. You learn by way of making mistakes, and I’m starting off not provided with a freedom of choice in a manner of consciousness by which you then will find yourself making mistakes. So what I’m describing is a state in which instinct, so to speak, exists primarily, but not consciousness. So that’s the meditation dream.

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