The Way Back

breadcrumbsIt might seem sensible that if we wanted to get back to where we came from, we could retrace our steps. But for the human journey, this isn’t true. We have to journey forward, letting go of all the accoutrements of manifestation that slow us down, or veil us, from what we truly seek. Will we look different? Not too much. Will we feel different? Yes, because we will be connected to the flow of the universal because we have put aside the stop-and-go of the planetary level. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my particular case, I dreamt the beginning and the end of the process. And so, in between, comes all of the hiccups. But if you look at something from A to Z, then, in between, you’re able to kind of get a gleaning of the hiccups that you wouldn’t normally have if you didn’t have the A to Z.

The dream starts out, it’s like I’m going back to almost like a demiurge now, and a demiurge is something that existed before you had man, or manifestation even. It’s just a vibration. And I start off as vibration that finds itself in some sort of all-inclusiveness. It’s not a definable inclusiveness yet, it just exists in this capacity.

And then suddenly, from this inclusiveness, there is the ability to denote, or to see, that you have a landscape, we’ll say. That’s all it is, is a still little landscape that you can look out upon. And that’s very interesting. I mean, before it was just the demiurge, and now, all of a sudden, there’s a landscape wherever you look. It’s kind of intriguing. It’s fascinating. But still no motion yet.

I mean, as you look out you could be fascinated, you can be in awe, but you don’t have an opinion. You’re just behold. And in that beholding you have a full heart, because everything in that landscape, and you, are somehow or another correlated.

And then, suddenly, a type of maturity, it’s like a feeling of taking a step, it comes over a person and you realize that you have your wants, and your needs, and thus it dawns on you that you can move about in this perceptiveness. And, as you do, you take on a sense of beingness within what is now an overall schematic, and you are something that moves around in this overall schematic.

Now, as you move around in this overall schematic, you’re sacrificing something very, very subtle, and for a long, long time you don’t realize that you’re losing a heartfulness. Because when there was just the demiurge, there was the whole sense of still, all-inclusiveness. And then when there was just the landscape, but no motion, there was a sense of a heartfelt, intertwined connection that was held in that landscape.

But then, as you start to move around, it’s almost as if you’re taking the substance of that which holds the landscape together, that was also part of the demiurge that was prior to that, you’re now taking, as you’re moving around, and it’s as if you’re drawing from a substance inside of yourself in a bifurcated way, in a blasphemous way, in order to move around distinctly within that atmosphere. And what happens is you get intrigued by the movement around in that atmosphere. And, somehow or another, are drawn to the curiosity of the moving around in the atmosphere, in a sort of spite to the heartfulness.

The reason why it’s considered a type of blasphemousness is that it’s not possible unless you rip off, or take away from, redirecting, refocus, subjugate the energy of the wholeness, push it aside in order to strain out of that a way of being in a modality sense. Separate.

It’s subtle, and people do this, and it’s almost as if their intrigue, or interest, suddenly starts to captivate them are louder than their sense of heartfulness. And so this goes on, and on, until it’s like you’re contracting yourself away from something that is a greater overall wholeness. And so you’re dumbing yourself down in the contraction at the expense of a heartfulness that feels the overall, all-permeating wholeness, the omniscience, and the omnipotency of everything being you. At some particular point, that’s too stifling.

Some part of you gets that; some part of you no longer can entertain itself by going off on these nuances. That causes an epiphany, or a change, coming back. And so now you try to come back into the expansiveness. Well, you’ve gotten pretty astray, having shrunk, in a way, and you’ve reproduced in accordance with that, as you did this, you notice that. And as you notice that you notice something more. And so you’ve gotten yourself pretty strung out, so that every little place that you place your attention is going to have a greater loudness than the echo of something of a greater heartfulness. And yet, you have to put your attention on the greater heartfulness because that’s the soul – not you functioning in some sort of diseased, dis-eased sense, which you now recognize is a dis-ease sensed. Because you’re starting to realize that, aha, what about this heartfulness that’s very, very faint, that has this all-inclusiveness and quality that is your natural beingness, somewhere in a still quiet state.

So something then turns, finally, where you kind of miss that. And so, to begin with, you try to re-experience this vibratory wholeness, or overallness. And you try then to use the tools of your waywardness to do that. You try to look around with your senses. You try to rearrange things as if this is going to bring you back into the greater spaciality. You’re acting like you can use those same tools to come back – instead of just letting go.

And, as you struggle in that way, you may become more sensitized to the other, it’s kind of like you might be, to a certain degree, polishing your way back, but you’re doing so only up to a degree, so to speak, because you’re not truly letting go. You’re noting the echo a little bit more, and a little bit more all the time, and it feels good to try to have some spiritual sense of it all, as part of your diet, your day-to-day diet in the outer, as kind of a pacifier because it starts off like a type of pacifier. And I guess it has to be viewed as a type of pacifier because you don’t know how to do this yourself. You can’t use the same mind that took you astray, in curiosity, to come back to something that’s the overallness. And yet you find yourself trying to do it this way, as if there’s a free flow, as if there’s a way that you can navigate, so to speak.

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