At birth, we have traveled far to get here, from a state of full energetic connection, to an incarnated form in the densest level of the universe (we can’t live in a moon ecology, we need a planet). Yet this does not mean we have fully forgotten where we are from and what our possibilities are. Deep inside, our design holds all the keys to unlocking this knowledge. What is external to us is merely meant to give our inner energetic form a palette with which to grow and evolve. Physical evolution is for the planet, spiritual evolution is for the universe – and for our energetic self. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: If you’re sincere, and true to yourself, you come to realize the more you see yourself moving about in these ways of ideation and distinction, the fainter, even though you sense something, that approach of fishing expedition quality within, you notice that it becomes fainter, not louder. That doesn’t make any sense.
I mean, you’ve got the right notion, you’re turning to the right focus and attention of having to come back to a greater heartfulness, but what you’re doing, in terms of this, that, and the other that your senses pick up on, the intuited memory just keeps staying subtler, and subtler, and subtler because you’re still using the same modality. And so it’s like you’re becoming more sensitive, so to speak, in this approach, but you’re sensitive in that you’re catching up with maybe little leakages, or inflections, of states. But you’re still holding on, though, to this overall mindfulness approach, a type of mindfulness that caused you to go out of the demiurge into the landscape, and then into the movement of the landscape. And now you’re going to move around, again, in that landscape as a way of driving back? That’s the same pitch. You can’t do it that way.
So, try as you might, this heartfulness that is echoing as a beholding, within, that is an a vibratory stillness, that you can image, that you have imaged in your bifurcation into both a motion and sight, or time and space, you have the freedom of choice to bring about this imagination, as if in your imagination something can rise up to a better image or something, or return of an image of stillness. And every image, then, that you toiter with like that, veils you in some subtle way because it’s still within this same waywardness, it’s just that you are trying to be a little more sensitive because you cannot quite stab yourself with the bifurcations as loudly as you did before. You have a more measured self-affliction.
And you sift that way. And the more you sift, putting the perceptions, as best you can, in this sifting mode, into a heart of a knowingness – the best that you’re able to sense that – in order to catch up with the feedback, or kind of like guidance, you’re still bicycling about, though. And you still seem to be away from the all-inclusive stillness that you have a faint memory of.
At some point it becomes nauseating that your sorting out gives birth to more and more impressions yet; subtler impressions, but still impressions, which grip you and cause the heart to note its exhaustion, its frustration, its need for something more, even though it may not know what that something more is. But it can come to a point where it can kind of know what that something more is, but it’s lost in its methodology. Because the methodology that you’ve been under is one of spiraling about more, and more, trying this, that, or the other yet. It’s like the whole image of moving the deckchairs around differently or something. And what you do seeks to elude, because something is an unfoldment, and that unfoldment involves a letting go.
It’s not a fixer upper project in the outer. Well, at some particular point, the yearning, or this quality of an echo inside, wins out more, and more, and more as if something is coming into its timeline of coming through. Which means you have a part of you that can’t help itself. It can’t weaponize any longer to this, that, or the other as options, and you just seem to collapse. That can be like a mental breakdown. And yet at the same time, if it’s done with poise because of something echoing inside, and you are straining in a space of drawing that forth because you know that there is a naturalness there, and it’s in the letting go, you actually can have glimpses, or a reset, where the senses feeding specific mindfulnesses, just seem to stop.
And when they do so like this, out of nowhere comes an awareness of a greater heartfelt beingness essence. So then, because this is not the teaching that the world provides, in terms of the senses and the mind, in terms of self improvement, or however the various modalities are, you’re trying to move back to something as a deeper echo, and yet as you do so, it’s almost like you drop your personality of motion.
And so then you catch up with, or maybe you hear, the statement that kind of rings somewhere that you have to die before you die, which is just nothing more than saying that there’s a letting go semblance of pure, still beholding. And that an all-engulfing heartfelt wonderment just is. And that just is, is everything. And the seeing is that of an overall stillness.
So what I am doing, and what is going on here, is I’m describing what you call a descent from a oneness to a beingness within the oneness, where there is a loss of an all-encompassing sensation of oneness. And so I scope about, in an individualized sense, seeking, all seeking but we seek in the wrong ways. We seek for this, that, or the other as something palpable, as if it’s palpable.
And then suddenly you get it and you just let go of such a seeking. And this letting go of an idealized visualization, or idealized nature, of yourself is the precursor, it’s the step to returning to a stillness, because the letting go goes into the stillness naturally. And the stillness, being all there is, embodies an enraptured heartfulness. You can’t find yourself in any capacity when you’re doing anything other than this. So what you have is you have a beginning, middle, and an end – and the beginning and the end come back together.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Personality of Motion