We’ve all heard the phrase: no matter where you go, there you are. We know we can’t leave our problems and issues behind – they travel with us. Our energy can change the “vibe” at a party for good or for bad. And, as this dream shows, we can bring our energetic eccentricities into our sleeping life. This is all pointing to the importance of finding the stillness within ourself, something that we can always be in connection with, no matter the circumstance – because we know that external life is unpredictable. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So in my meditation dream, I’m aware of changes in the stillness, as if the stillness vacillates. In other words, it’s almost as if it’s a weather event. And so the stillness can kind of go up and down a little bit; it has a little motion to it.
So I came out of this dream a bit bewildered because this thing is vacillating up and down. And yet wondering, I want to go into the stillness, but it’s vacillating up and down a bit. And yet there is that stillness that predominates. There’s something in there that’s getting blown around.
So when I come out, I don’t come completely out, apparently, but I remember coming out and I noticed that I was cold. And so I just assumed that maybe this is what was causing this sensation of back and forth, because I have slept at times where I might have something strange going on, and I will incorporate all of that into the process of the dreaming. So I assume that, okay, that’s what it is. So I just took this condition into account and went back into the inner space with the intent of searching for the source – in terms of moving to the greater stillness.
The only thing I noticed is after having checked out my physical condition, and determined it to be okay, that when I then was able to let go of maybe something that was somewhat in-between yet, was that I didn’t vacillate now, as if I was being blown around a bit, in the space I was in. So I didn’t vacillate a lot.
Yet the whole situation was, as if all night long, was looking and looking because I had this as an inner agenda, so it was an earmarked approach. So there were no dreams that could happen, no imagery that could happen.
And then when I woke up, because that was where I was at, in terms of spinning, so to speak, within, I couldn’t remember anything else other than a sensation that whatever had happened was at an inner spaciality in which there was nothing that could be noticed from my attention now, even though, further back, the memory of having woken up still infected or affected things a bit, and I was still trying to learn more about the vacillating back and forth demeanor.
It’s as if I’m curious. But once I had woken up and popped my eyes open, and then went back in, I had taken into account whatever might have been some neurosis of concern. And actually then went into a point of non-consciousness, on any subtle level even, but still remembered that to the degree that, when I woke up, that’s what I still held onto. I could glance back at that, which means that I was spinning and abiding upon a mannerism that didn’t go anywhere.
Well, the significance is, obsessing exists on the inner level as well as on the outer. If I’m not pulling out a need from the empty space, I might be vacillating, which is a form of obsessing, except it can be on the inner place level. And if it’s on the inner place level, then you’re going to be still doing something in the outer, or having to think to do something in the outer. Instead, the deep teaching would occur, but I actually then went to being able to, just like in a sleep dream, to just walk off the court. And little did anybody know that when I walked off the court, and may have been dismissed as far as everyone knows, that still something exuded as a presence that held the space. And nobody notices that; it’s invisible.
So what I learned is, I learned in seeing this that in my deep within I was not my usual, absorbent, healing mode about something particular. In other words, the vacillating. I wasn’t hitting that deeper level with that vacillating.
Or, for me to say this in another way, the difference last night is I was not seeing myself having to internalize the particular capacity. Instead, it’s as if I was bored in an energetic outer. Not really, of course, because I would have liked to have played the volleyball game, for example, but, in the sleep thing, there’s a deeper realization – as if you’re bored by having to be caught up in that unmittingly. So the prima materia catalytic stimuli to absolve went to something that was stiller than the vacillation of back and forth – that’s still a type of scanning.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Inner Place