Immobilized

d5oadThose dreams where we feel like we can’t move, or like we can’t break out of an inertia, often linger the longest with us after we wake up. Yet, in the dream world, sometimes we’re not supposed to run away from the aliens or monsters: what seems alien might just be a friendly part of our self that we are irrationally afraid of – it is us that has turned them into the bad guys. Most often, an inner connection is trying to be made, and if we can get some insight into that through the imagery, we can facilitate the new alliance – and forward movement. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my dream, I see a spaceship in the atmosphere. In fact, I see a number of spaceships. And, all of a sudden, one of them kind of does this little roll, as the thing goes plunk, and hits the ground. 

And at first I thought it was crashing, but then, when another one does it, I realize that they’re landing. And so I have this deep, deep inner inflection, as if I know from somewhere – an ancient part of myself – that when something like this happens, you should hide. You don’t just sit around to see what’s going on. 

But because that inflection didn’t come through loudly enough, and in the outer, in my senses, it’s never happened before, so instead of following those instincts, my curiosity keeps me in the outer. And what I knew when I hit that inflection was that there happened to be a little spot that only I knew about, that was in the back of a closet in a kind of a little hidden room back there, that I could go in there and wait things out. Just get still, and wait things out, and I wouldn’t be found.

Instead of following my better judgment, the next thing I know is I see myself in kind of what’s like a large warehouse area, and the exits are all blocked. And there first were like some kind of execution, or some kind of service, guys, that came and blocked all the entrances. And then a person comes up to me and says, “What they are doing is systematically killing everyone.” I am told that the only way is to make a run for it, and that I have to figure this out. In other words, I have to figure this out for them because they can’t seem to move. Maybe I can move. 

And there I am wandering around in this place, too; it’s spacious enough that you can avoid more and more of them starting to come in. Some of them don’t attack, and others, big guys, but they’re all slow, they can’t run or anything – they just kind of slowly track you down. They’re like executioner types. 

One of them carries a big club, and then if he touches a person with the club they scream out in pain; it’s like being electrocuted. He doesn’t club them, he just touches them with this club. And another one tries to tackle me. He’s a little different type of character, I don’t know what he’s all about, but he doesn’t quite get me by the ankles – so I elude him.

So, essentially, these aliens, it’s not like they’re adroit, and they’re powerful, but they’re slow. But I no longer have this option of getting out of sight to let this pass. So I need to kind of follow the cue, which is I’ve got to be able to run away, which means to get out of the building. If I do that there’s no way of catching me.

So I kick at a piece of plywood near an exit, and, to my surprise, it gives, gives way, just enough that I should be able to slip outside. But my problem that I’m having is in jumpstarting myself, how do I motivate myself? How do I move? I need to move more expeditiously. But it’s as if I’m in kind of a traumatic, dumbed-down trance. I kind of know what needs to be done, but, again and again I’m my own worst enemy because I can’t seem to come out of a stupor. It’s all I can do, in other words, to fight a disorientation spell that’s immobilizing me from taking and acting with definitive steps – because I can go a lot faster than they can, but somehow or another, I can’t. 

And so what I’m describing is a stupor and amnesia that comes over me when I am overwhelmed by conditions, in the outer, that stifle the coming together of an inner awareness. So I’m not in a state of being complete. In order to be complete, a human being has a natural connection to everything that is happening. However, I’m not in that condition. I’ve lost this natural, overall awareness. I’m stifled, in other words. The acuity that is meant and able to be there, within, is kind of like veiled, or just out of touch. 

So I move around in the outer in an aimless, somewhat curious, not motivated, not properly alarmed, trance. This condition can be so bad that I can find that I’m no longer able to move when I need to move. And I know I have this acuity, I just can’t pull it out. And it occurs when I fail to follow an inflection from the inner that invokes my attention. The failure to adhere to this keeps the coming alive from coming into a clarity, and thus I am real shut down and veiled from what is a much needed access; all access within. 

See, where I’m really at in all of this is I’m in a spaciousness, and I need something to come through as a clarity, in a time way. And, if it comes through, then I carry the knowingness that I need, and can act in a way that I need; nothing can constrain me. But if it can’t come through, I’m in a trance; in a spell. 

So what is going on is, this is actually a repeat dream. I’ve had these kind of dreams before, just like you had your kind of dream before. In my case, I’m unable to fire up with my usual out-breath intensity. So, when I’m like this, I’m unable to generate what fires up, it’s like a type of momentum, or coming through, that’s attained and accessible, with ease, from the out-breath. It is as if my timing is out of sync, I just can’t find it. 

So what is the dream suggesting? The dream is pointing out that when in a spaciality of the in-breath, I lack the timing aliveness to come out to touch the spaciousness, and, therefore it creates the reaction and relatability that’s needed. And that my sense of closing the senses, you know, of the spaciousness, and getting real still, that’s the option by which, then, something can pass and then this timeline of things could return. But in this dream, I don’t have this option to go out and explore for that.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Immobilized

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