Multiplying

eese3It is a common urge in us when we are feeling insecure: try harder, do more, fill the space. Yet it is that feeling of insecurity that is our first signal that we need to start letting go. When we add that layer of feeling – the insecurity – to a situation, we begin to act from there, rather than from the original trigger. And, once we have left the source, we are on a detour that won’t help anything – it’s just playing out an old loop of reaction. So, instead, we let go of the feeling, and keep letting go, until the moment and we are connected. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So my dreams last night, it felt like I’d be going back and forth, there were always things that were holding me back, or getting in the way, or the way the society was structured, I was being held back. 

I remember one point, too, I went into a village of people that were almost like foreign, but I mean, like, foreign from another planet, they were part animal. And I had something that was a food that they could normally eat, but when I would open it up, the nuts inside it would be multiplied. 

And it’s like somebody had stuck me in a little hut with one of these creatures. And I feel like the people that stuck me in there almost wanted me to come to harm by this creature kind of panicking, and harming me, but I take out this kind of fruit, or whatever, nut that they eat, show that I can actually make it be kind of multiplied so they could get a bunch of them rather than just one or two like they normally do. 

And I kind of gently hand it to this creature and it eats some. And then I show them how to open up another one of their nuts to kind of get it in a form where, again, it’s multiplied more. 

And then I realize he’s not gonna hurt me. But just the fact that I’m doing this, and he’s not used to seeing his food in that form, has actually frightened him and made him very uncomfortable. It’s almost like I have the hut removed, so he can get distance from me because I realize giving them their food differently actually scares them – and that they’re more comfortable with how it was. So I kind of just leave the village then, and try to go on with where I’m going to. 

And then the last part of the dream, it feels like you’re with me, but we have to get in a car and we have to go around a hill where there’s no visibility, and you start to go around too soon. And I make you pull over so that we go up the hill – the road goes along the side of it – and you can see that a truck was coming, it would have hit us. And something else comes really fast and would have hit us if we had kind of pushed it like you wanted to, too. 

So I’m trying to get you to slow down because, yes, we need to get there, but we also need to get there without being hit in this blind spot in the road, and time it rather than just push it, when you can’t see; that you have to wait till you can see a little distance and then push it. That’s all I really remember of the dreams.

John: You’re playing with timing. Everything about the dream has the sense of trying to get timing right. You seem to have a naturalness in terms of the spaciousness, but you don’t have a good sense of timing. Or, at least, you’re studying, and studying, and studying the timing.

So, that’s why you keep coming back, almost to see if something has changed. But the dream gives you more information in terms of how you work with this principle of timing. Initially, it’s your opinion that you’ve adopted in the outer, it’s almost as if you’re trying the opposite on for a effect, that you can appease something that is wayward by showing it how it can have a greater participatory role, or deal with more things, which is nuts, of course. But that’s your story, and you believe that that will work, and that that somehow or another is an effective approach. 

What happens, however, when you do that is ultimately you push yourself away. In other words, the idea of freeing yourself by having an access to a greater expanse of things that is there, actually, instead it has the opposite effect of what you think – it scares something away. It pushes you away from its intended effect, which is to appease the situation, or to bring about a peace. 

So within the schematic of timing, you’re also looking at where the stillness is, because what you’re looking at still has an activity involved. And eventually you run to the limit, in terms of how you shock yourself with an attempt to appease, because although it makes perfect sense that that should appease, it actually pushes something away, which causes you then to recognize that, whether you like it or not, you fall back to a letting go. Very peculiar transitioning.

In other words, you start with thinking that you can ameliorate the situation by being more able to take in, or effect, and handout, a certain aspect or quality of what is needed. That’s the common view that seems to prevail when a person is in the outer, they think that they need to multiply, that they need to take on more, or reach to more, increase something, have access to more. And that approach is an approach that appears to make sense, that everyone strives for, as an approach in the outer, actually, in the end, estranges you, it doesn’t bring you closer. 

And when you notice that it’s like that, that’s when you get the memo of letting go. And when you let go, even though the timing of things – which you thought you were able to handle by appeasing the situation, by knowing how to make something more appear to be so – you actually, then, by the letting go, come to know a deeper aspect of what stillness is really all about. It’s not about trying to cause something to happen, or to be pushing inside yourself for something more to take place. 

And so, you hold an attentiveness to it being like that, meaning in the outer, there is the reaching for things that is part of outer nature as if it’s missing something. On the inner part of yourself there is the settling back from that in order to catch up with the stillness that leads to a composite wholeness – and you’re caught in this paradigm. If you approach the outer from the standpoint of multiplying, of being fruitful in the outer, and putting your attention upon that, as if that is a means for redemption, you actually push something away. 

And so you come to recognize that here you are, you have an outer scenario that is like that, that actually is pushed away by something like that. And yet that is the dynamic. And so you have to play in this dynamic, and function towards this dynamic, that is always reaching out like this. And, in it’s reaching out, is pushing itself further away, as opposed to actually getting closer because it’s the wrong dynamic. You go counterclockwise to that, to the stillness. And it’s in the stillness, then, that something gets touched. It’s a very interesting way of putting it.

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