Just the Depth

When we let go it can feel like we have lost a part of ourselves, and even experience a grieving process. Yet, at the same time much has been gained. When we put down what is personal to us, we elevate into the more universal. We gain a higher perspective, an overview, where we can see more of what is occurring. And the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune have a harder time reaching us when we are raised by letting go of what weighs us down. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The meditation dream seems fairly mundane and blunt, but I ended up writing it up because I didn’t seem to think that I was going very deep, but, of course, in writing it up like this, something in the meditation dream, which is normally subtler and harder, to reach is actually pretty loud this time. And yet there’s something kind of interesting about it when you look at it after the fact.

In my meditation dream, I need to leave where I am at. To do so I have to let go of what I am holding onto. The longer this takes for me to do the more it appears that I’m not going to be able to leave this place. 

I’m holding on to things that I think I can keep because I acquired them from conduct that I heavily invested in, for one thing, and some contents and conduct had an intensity about them that created an effect of my affinity, I have come to hold onto or realize things that differ for me, or are designed for me, yet must go when it comes to perhaps another sense of acuity. 

I’m also holding on to pots and pans. Very basic, mundane things that you can commonly replace anywhere else. There are no conceptualized basics I can hide away. In other words, it’s something distinct. In other words, this is talking about being able to shift, have a certain acuity where another part can go dumb.

I am finding that the big problem I have is I have been thinking I have more time than I do, I can clear the place, for example, but can I clean the place? I can polish the area, but can I get rid of all traces in my presence? If I am not able to do this, what continues, or remains will define me and weigh me down. Or, if I try to take more than I am able to comfortably carry, I will never be able to get out of the door. 

I can’t believe, when I stop and I pause like this, that I’m so burdened. The more I try to let go, the more I realize I am stuck. 

Meaning: this is a dream about the plight of identification. Everything I note about myself defines me. Whatever I see about myself is caught upon an aspect of breath. I cannot be a heart that is everywhere, if I am not duping my beingness, in terms of its spaciality, or if I am carrying a beingness that has a doingness in a somewhere type of orientation. 

All orientations of a beingness that we are able to catch up with are somewhere on the breath. And beyond that is the stillness again, or the heart of it all. You know just like the heart was seen the other day as something that you couldn’t quite see this, that propelled like into a tube that went on into an infinitive. And yet out of that can propel something, like a thought, very, very magnified. But it was better that it didn’t and just was the depth. Just the depth. Because if it propelled out, then your attention would go with what propelled out – and then you wouldn’t have the scoping anymore.

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