A Place on the Breath

There are many types of abuse in life, not just in the external, but on the inner landscapes as well. For a dreamer, it can be a way to show the “relationship” is no longer working. But what relationship? It could be an old defense mechanism that causes more problems than it fixes, or any number of psychologies we use to navigate life. Add to that, our inner masculine and feminine and the constant tug of war between these different viewpoints and approaches. Sometimes a higher perspective can bring clear air. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So, in the second dream I remember, okay, there’s a woman that’s had a long term relationship with a man. And, in this relationship, he’s actually been somewhat abusive to her, in that he’s gone out with me and he’s gone out with other women. And he’s not really there for her. But she seems to stay in the relationship. 

So I’ve taken her up to the rooftop of a building and even jumped myself across from that rooftop to the rooftop on another street. And because I feel like up here on the rooftops, when she looks out over the city, maybe she can better look at that relationship and see that he’s not really faithful, and he’s in some way somewhat abusive. 

And I want her to come with me or move on from that. But I recognize, even though I tell her what he’s done, I realize that she’s really not going to leave that relationship. So I just have to move ahead on my own without her.

John: Well you’re trying to portray another aspect of letting go – I’m not sure I agree with the image of how you’re doing it, but you’re trying to create the letting go as if you can take and go into a whole different schematic, like up on the top of a rooftop or something. Or, in other words, away from the density of something that is more rooted, and more basic, and more guttural. 

And that, somehow or another, then, there is a sense of freedom from which one can just transition, or leave, or let go. But I’m not sure that it quite works that way. I think you have to let go in creation, because you’re doing this on an in-breath.

Jeane: I felt like, from the rooftop, you could get a perspective that she wasn’t using when she was kind of more down in it. 

John: Yes, it’s an in-breath; you’re doing it from an in-breath. I’m used to a perspective of seeing the vibrational stillness as it first comes out, as a thought, and yet it’s still just close to the stillness. When you’re going to the top of something you’re aspecting it again towards a proximity of the stillness, but on the in-breath side of things. 

I mean, the most dense point is the point all the way down to the bottom of the breath, actually, it’s so dense and so compact, that that’s where it’s a clarity point, too, because you can be at a point where you can truly let go, or at least have the potential of letting go because it’s just too dense to handle. 

And the flip side of that, I guess, is trying to get a clarity and a spaciality – I suppose people do that. I suppose that is the way it kind of works – developing an understanding and a recognition of something. It still is on the breath, though. You’re still looking at something on the breath, and going into the river. Still  you’re trying to go high on the breath letting go of something. I guess it’s all kind of the same. 

Ultimately I believe we just have to let go of the breath completely. I guess it does need to be looked at from the standpoint of high on the in-breath, just like I look at it high on the out-breath coming down, which is near that. And when it gets like that, maybe it still has to take that last step of letting go completely of the breath, however, just like something that’s coming down as the first thought from the stillness has a pent-upism, you know, to be lived into life, just like the other is a letting go, to go into the stillness.

There isn’t the degree of pain upon the mirror of the heart when you have that recognition, but it still has a small aspect of the breath, it’s still not into the emptiness and the total stillness. But it’s interesting. It’s interesting to note that that’s what it looks like to be high on the in-breath again. 

I would say that’s even above the angelic – as far as a place on the breath – because you don’t necessarily have a value orientation there. You’re kind of at the last thresholds of exasperatingly letting go; exasperatingly in terms of running into the river. The letting go to the recognition of something more, high on the in-breath.

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