Seeking Satisfaction

What propels us through life? Every day we wake and try to move things forward – it could be anything, but we usually are trying to improve something, or create something, or understand something. Are these many urges, or are they variations on a singular urge for something more? Are we compelled by a search for meaning and purpose, and, because we often don’t readily find satisfaction in those territories, we aim for satisfaction in areas that are more manageable like a career, or a business, or a family? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Very unusual subject matter. I’m actually trying to dream it in an in-breath way, the intertwinement. So, in the meditation dream, I am searching for a large container capable of holding onto an inner vibratoriness; going to take everything that’s vibratory into this container.

I’m not able to get satisfied. Consequently, I carry an uneasy frustration as a pressure, which plagues me. In other words, in the dream I don’t see myself as finding what I seek, but, what I do notice is I am somehow provided or given more than what my mind or senses would bargain for. That is, if I were able to understand, or know, what to do with the energy, the incarnated kind of vibrations, at this time.

The veils that exist, exist because I choose to look at things as if you have to catch up, which means that I’m separate. So sitting in this kind of strange sensation, where you’re kind of in a void, causes me to have a sense that how I am is foreign to the overallness, has caused me to come to realize that I have not absorbed it. This shows that I am not properly grateful, and that’s a quality of heart, now, where you put your hand on the heart.

I’m always looking as if there is something more. Such a manner is occasionally dangerously close to, and keeps the collateral damage, or the karma happening. You’d call it karma, but it’s like really another way of saying it’s a collateral damage, because as you get closer to something the degree to which you deviate you, with your energy, affect the denseness of things, the matter of things, and this sets in motion karma, or collateral damage. 

Nevertheless, not knowing what I am doing as I probe beyond my state of beingness, which we always do because then you have the in-breath that goes up to that stillness point, even though we don’t notice that. Because it’s like that, and it’s there as kind of unconscious, what you find in the outbreath you can’t stand. Not really. 

And, to go back and forth like this, the only thing you can say about it is such seeking is both productive and counterproductive. I am a human that is never satisfied and seeking more and more; you could say that that is something that doesn’t know its limitations because it has a remembrance of something, somewhere, and somehow differently. 

What this means is I am going outside of my current state of being, and, if I’m going outside of my current state of being, that means I’m taking the energetic into an out-breath, and there’s the corresponding in-breath. And so the greater density of things that everyone can take and see that they’re trying to make their life completely according to the outer way of things, can have a subtler aspect to which you could say that you also could be spiritually materialistic. Such material-ness is noticed upon the out-breath as I keep trying to consolidate the experience in a graspable way. In other words, whatever you experience even on an angelic in-breath side of yourself you try to consolidate, you try to own, hold on to in the outer. This is the pattern instead of realizing that everything is intertwined, and that it’s held in a wholeness; you yo-yo like this. And when you yo-yo you incur collateral damage because such a mannerism lacks the heartfelt graciousness. In other words, you’re not allowing yourself to experience the whole of the heart. 

Or you could maybe say it in another way, that there is a dormant effect that you’re not seeing. A dormant effect meaning because you’re only seeing yourself, or you’re seeing the outer of things, and you’re not seeing how you’re intertwined with all of that. Nevertheless, you kind of carry some sort of innate trust that there’s something more. And that’s the positive aspect in terms of the seeking. 

The counterproductive is the aspect that yo-yos and goes around, trying to somehow or another make it come together in a different kind of way. But whatever is realized in the spiritual inner has to be grounded in the outer. And people don’t know how to ground it in the outer. 

The trust is a positive part of what I seek. However, what incarnates as a form of groundedness is reflective only. In other words, the degree to which you’re free reflects in the outer, and the degree to which you’re off on some illusionariness also is visible in the outer. And who you are is all of those outer extensions. You have to pull all of that back in.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Seeking Satisfaction

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