Sinking Sensation

There is a saying: once bitten, twice shy. And this points very much to how our psychologies work, because a certain thing will carry a foreboding sense for one person, where another person will think nothing of it – all dependent on individual history, experience, and the mental state when the originating event occurred. But we can also see how that inner, sinking feeling can restrict our ability to flow freely in the current moment – it inhibits us. If we can have a conscious awareness about what and when these feelings happen in us, we can minimize the limiting effects, over time. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So then how am I working with this is how the dream portrays; it’s a very loud dream. 

In the dream, I am staying at a place, it’s a big place that I’m in, but it’s off to one side. It seems isolated in its protection. Seems like I have a roommate or two there, as well. And it’s a place that one considers safe and secure. 

However, appearances aren’t necessarily the case, because I carry a distant memory from long long ago, which corresponds to the vibe that “everything can be taken.” In other words, no matter how well something can appear to be set up, it is not necessarily so. In other words, this is an embedded vibratoriness in a heart that knows that there is a greater intertwined essence in all of life. To which, of course, I distinguish myself a little bit from that. 

So it’s a teaching dream, in terms of losing one’s heartfelt self to mental, physical, or other spellbinding identifications, because they put you in an insane way of looking at things, and an inability to shift or adjust. 

So in the dream, at first glance, it appears that I am in a place which is luxurious, and, as far as what is readily apparent, well-protected and secure. A person who is addicted to their poverty, or is lost in woundology, without the common sense of the heart, would consider such a place a wonderful interlude or escape. They would not know any better based upon the fact that they are caught up in an attachment to their projections. 

So in the dream, in this place, there is a back bedroom area, kind of like a second bedroom or something. Not much is in it, maybe just a bed, not much in furnishings or anything. But in this back bedroom is a window that is not as set as it appears. In other words, from the inside of the room, you look at it, it looks like it’s just sealed in place, but the window actually opens from the outside; you can open it from the outside and come inside. 

So in the dream based upon an ancient memory, that echoes a sensitivity to inner to outer, I have this deep down sense to look for, or to note, an imbalance embedded in the heart vibing out a dullness and repressed sensation. I can sense that; I carry that as a memory. 

But you don’t want to let that get too out of control, so to keep from accepting that you’re too bewildered, but you are actually functioning in an octave of denial bewilderment, I try to keep the woundology of this memory unconscious. Because if it were to float to the surface, I would experience, wherever and however I look, a sinking sensation that things aren’t what they appear. 

I experience a sinking sensation because of the fact that I can denote identifications that are being put in my heart that keep me spellbound. What I’m saying is I have adopted concepts I use to lie to myself that place me in a reflective mind sense orientation that has a bit of its own self-righteousness, or thinks it has its own self-reflective righteousness. But because it’s a dream, and every part is oneself in the dream, I know that this is also collective conditioning. This is in everything that is going on around me at this time.

So back to the dream. In the dream I instinctively go to this quiet extra bedroom separate from the main area. And I walk in just as the thief is coming in the window. And what surprises me is this thief, as he comes in, he’s kind of like a strange sort of relief. It’s not like I get all upset and start screaming and hollering like, okay, catch him out, or whatever. 

It must be like a strange sort of relief because I go to the outer area where there is another guy who lives here who has a lot to lose. I tell him that there is an impending danger. He doesn’t know how to hear me and, in spite of what I consider an eloquent description of things in which I point out that he needs to take precautions and needs help, he remains set in his nature. And he has to sense it; he has to get it. And if I can’t get to the point where he senses it, that’s just as far as I can go. 

So, at some point, out of frustration, I say to him: have it your way. If you’re not willing to help yourself, then my hands are also tied. I have learned long ago that it makes no sense to force anything. I say this because his ungrateful demeanor is such that no matter what happens, he isn’t going to truly let go. In other words, even if one were to intercede, for example, it would be kind of like no good deed goes unpunished, kind of thing. He still wouldn’t get it because he would still be in some sort of mannerism, and got a lucky break in the mannerism, but the mannerism still won’t have changed. 

So, as a result, I will remain under a strange never-ending adamancy curse. I will even sit there myself under this adamancy curse. Because if it’s not gotten, what can I do? You do something about it, you only change the curse. 

So the meaning is that although there are events in the outer that churn such a dream up for me to experience upon a personal level, redirecting this from such a shallowness to a macro level in the collective consciousness, I can’t help but notice that this is a conditioning, this is a mannerism, this is an attitude, this is a way of holding out which permeates everywhere. 

Because this permeates the collective it only stands to reason that I will find myself subjected to the same spellbinding state, on a personal level, when I look at my heart. I’m caught this way, too. If I’m unable to rectify the insanity in the micro of self, what chance do I have to heal the overall which portrays reflectively the same orientation as being in a non-shifting modality?

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Sinking Sensation

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