It’s an interesting phrase: collecting oneself. We use it when we feel out-of-sorts with what is going on; perhaps we take some quiet time to settle down. Sometimes, though, when our balances are thrown off, we think that there is an external thing that will solve the issue, so we go on a buying spree, or we call all our friends. In this dream, the dreamer is trying to collect various items to find a certain safety, yet it is only the process of letting go that will bring about the needed sense of settlement. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: Well, in this dream, I seem to be in something like a hotel room, or motel room, with a man. And we’re going to make love, but it feels like there’s a couple there that’s supervising the whole process, because it isn’t just about making love it’s also about some kind of way you’re working with the breath.
The problem with this, though, is that there’s something in how they’re directing the whole process that just creates a feeling that is a little estranging. So it’s like we get rid of them, they leave. But then after they’ve left, I realize that I’m not feeling entirely safe in this situation, or connected in some way. I’m not quite sure how to break through that.
So I get up out of bed, and I go over and I look out the window. It’s snowing out and there’s snow on the ground. And I look over and I see that the mountain is turning into a volcano; the mountain I can see out the window.
So I leave the room I’m in and go out, there’s a lot of other people staying in this kind of resort area. And it’s like I try to get people mobilized, that we need to get out of there because the mountain is erupting. But some people feel like it’s going to be safer to stay there, even though they see some ash or rocks coming down.
So I just keep moving away from where I see where the volcano is, and go through different rooms. I find sometimes people have left things, clothing or shoes, and I start looking for certain things to pick up that I need to wear because I don’t have any boots. And I try to look around me and ask if other people need them, or not, and encouraging people to put on certain clothes or to get more prepared, but people still seem kind of disorganized in what they’re doing.
I move on along to a room where I see some food piled up on a table, so I like grab a bandana. It’s mostly the type of pastry food that you see people put out for breakfast at a resort sometimes, but they have some fruit and nuts there, too. And I try to grab a certain portion that I put in a bandana or something and encouraging other people to do the same. And then I just keep moving.
I’m trying to find a way out and away from where the volcano’s erupted. And still kind of surprised that some people don’t seem to want to move, even in these circumstances, as though they feel like it’s still gonna be fine where they are. But I realize that as the volcano erupts, it’s not only that it’s throwing out rocks and stuff, but it’s going to melt the snow, too. So you need to keep moving. But some people don’t, some people do.
And, meanwhile, I seem to have put together a mishmash of clothing I can wear to hike over the mountain. And the next thing I know, I seem to have reached an area that reminds me a little bit of San Francisco, and then there’s people there that are feeding me. But I realize they’re feeding me partly because I’m pregnant and they’re trying to feed me certain foods because they want to shape the pregnancy. I’m not sure I trust how they want to shape things, so I’m looking around for some orange juice, or foods that I feel might even be outside of just the nutrients they’re giving me because I don’t know what it is they’re trying to control for – and that was when I woke up.
John: Well, it’s a dream that starts off with you observing that something is awry in the atmosphere. Initially you notice that you can’t relax or let go in the atmosphere. It’s almost as if there is an over presence that’s affecting the atmosphere.
But, even when that leaves, there still is something that’s not right. So you get up to try to catch up with what it is that is keeping things stifled, or in an amnesic state, so that nothing is able to unfold on an awareness level in which you are able to participate. And what you see and perceive has you realizing that the environment that you’re in, the circumstances that exist in the atmosphere, are such that you aren’t able to embrace, or take in, appreciate, go to any depth with what is in front of you, with what lies before you.
Thus, you’re in a type of amnesia. And, in this amnesia, you don’t recognize or realize that something is shifting. In other words, what you see is that the something more that you want isn’t possible for reasons and circumstances that are askew. But you know that you’re in an amnesia because you come to see yourself as in need of something more, because you’re birthing, you’re suddenly realizing, that, in spite of all of the confusion in the atmosphere, you’re still having to birth something.
And when you let go to accepting a flow that permeates through all of this mayhem, you’re able to catch up with, and relate to, the fact that there is a nurturing of an aliveness that is possible. So, you’re noticing that this is somehow correlated with the breath, and that you only recognize when something isn’t quite right, based upon how it feels, in terms of the breath. You only notice that at the onset, but, as things progress, and you’re compelled to look at the outer effects of things, it can be a bit shocking.
And, in that shock, you can let go of, and lose track of, the feeling that is important in terms of being able to have a spaciality necessary to break free of the limitations that are impelled upon the way the atmosphere is for you, and how you find yourself to be, and where you find yourself to be. So it’s like a teaching dream, too.
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