We are so clever in how we can delude ourselves. We delegate aspects of ourselves to a quiet corner to be dealt with at another time, or we rationalize that someone else (another part of us) will take care of it. We all have dozens of subtle strategies for avoidance. In the end, it is only by the integration of these far-flung aspects within us that we will free ourselves up to express our greater possibility – as a part of the greater universal possibility. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So you’re looking at this quality, and you’re calling it a subterfuge. And I would call it something slightly different in terms of a type of avoidance of what is a meaningful connection inside of one’s self. 

And that’s kind of how I laid it out in my meditation dream, in that I have gone to where there is a person who I have entrusted to pay attention to things for me – in this area of my beingness. In other words, it’s like the image is there is a piece of property in another town that I’ve almost forgotten about and don’t even know the directions to anymore. And I’ve chosen to try to go back to that, to try to awaken that, or at least go back to it. 

And so as part of going back to it, I go to this other place in-between, to where someone who was left kind of, so to speak, in charge of things. And I’m trying to get directions from him. Well, I actually don’t need the directions, I kind of know where the town’s at, but where am I at in the town? I’ve forgotten the address to the place. Probably recognize it when I get there, but nice to have an address. 

And I’m impatient, I want this address from this guy right now. And I’m actually a little upset and infuriated because I’m feeling the awkwardness of not having that at my disposal, like I know that it should be, because it’s something ancient inside of me. 

So, essentially, you could say an important part of what is going on about myself is put on hold, or something, as if you can do that and something will change. Who am I to be like that? Because this part will stay lost and in an avoidance trance. Or it will have gotten to a point that is not reaching anywhere at all, anymore, as maybe actually needed in terms of the greater edification of self. 

And it’s not going to change if I fail to face it. I mean, the human heart encompasses it all. In other words, clearing up a number of other things that are malingering weight upon me. So this is like a teaching dream in terms of coming back into who I am meant to be. 

This dream is portraying how much I am struggling, in terms of beingness, in which I am confronted with experiencing a panging away – because of the loudness in the dream where I was actually angry or upset because I couldn’t find this – I’m panging away in terms of trying to catch up with my whereabouts. In other words, who I really am

And we aren’t what we think we are, we’re so much more. So that’s the deeper meaning of this. And in my way of approaching it is, I may not act like something’s trying to keep me from doing it. I may act like something could change; the universe, or something, could shift or change, and that I will just wait for it. That can be true, but then that’s an avoidance, as well.

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