A Parasitic Quality

When we feed something, it grows. It can grow in size and in strength, and, over time, it will require even more food. We can use the logic of this to our advantage when we consider the higher energies we may want to connect with; if we practice kindness it will grow in us and it will want to be nurtured by us as it grows, by which we will find more and more ways to practice kindness. On the other hand, when we allow a lower energetic to be fed by us – anger, selfishness – it too will grow in us and want to be fed, to our detriment. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I had odd dreams that really didn’t seem to quite gel. In this dream, it feels like I’m at this place, it’s run by men. It feels like they’re going to turn it into a house of prostitution, they’re trying to decide whether I’m going to run it, or work there, or something. 

As one point I wander around the grounds, I go into this grocery store and it has the oddest food, because I kind of even go over to the day-old food one time, and it’s like something like bread that looks almost like angel food cake but it has this characteristic that you see of sponges or something. Plus, if you press it a little, it presses back and it begins to expand. And I keep tucking it back in because I don’t really want to take it. I’m just trying to study its characteristics, almost, that it’s some kind of food that expands out once you touch it. 

So then I leave the grocery store and I’ve gone back to a building. And then I see, it’s not like the overall boss, it’s like there are a couple of guys that he’s hired. I realize they don’t really know what they’re doing, but in the process of not knowing what they’re doing, you know, they might even kill me or throw me out because there not sure what to do with me. 

So when I see them coming, it’s like I have to take charge of the situation pretty fast. And I suddenly am telling them how they have to rearrange the place, like they have to change where the door is. I’ve gone back out and there’s something about some kind of a tree and how it can be used – and I don’t remember that part of the dream clearly. But it’s like the doors of the house have to be rearranged, I realize they don’t really know anything about running a house of prostitution, so I’m trying to show them how they would actually do it. 

And then I have this brainstorm that besides this one building, which is limited in its size and what you can do with it, and needs to be totally rearranged even as to where the doors are, anyway, I look out and I see that they seem to have this whole bunch of huge trucks that aren’t being used. And I go over, and one truck has this very unusual arrangement because it seems to fit sideways rather than straight on, like you see trucks. And it has like two tanks that connect to tubes. And then that design repeats, like there’s several layers of that. 

And I realize that you actually can go up in the tanks to the tubes, that’s kind of like where stuff is stored, and, if you weren’t claustrophobic because some people might even like this concept, then that’s where you would kind of build rooms. And then I realize that they have this whole bunch of trucks, all different types, and we could actually use those for buildings or rooms and the girls would just come to work there because that’s how life works, in a way. 

And then I’ve gone into another store for a minute and these women start approaching me, and they’re really poor women, like from a third-world country. One of them you can see has been nursing a baby, and another one just looks like they’re looking for food. And then there’s an older one in rags. And I’m just kind of noting them. And then it feels like I’ve gone back; I think that’s when I woke up, it just was kind of a jumbled dream.

John: You dreamt the quality, like parasitic quality, of one’s nature. In other words, everything is toxic. I mean, that’s how I was looking at the breath a couple of months ago, everything on the breath was toxic. And yet there’s no getting out of it, because we’re composed of everything that exists. 

And so, what you did is you took this whole thing, the scenario being how one is affected by parasitic qualities that are on the breath, even, or are in everything in life. And everything in life vies for the heart, and the heart and the breath are synonymous. In other words, you breathe into the heart, and then you take on a wholeness, an overallness, a oneness.

To the degree to which you fail to do that, or are absolving of a particular way of being, that’s when you have something that isn’t quite in harmony with the overall, or, you could say, parasitic. 

And so you dreamt it in all kinds of ways. You dreamt it as a house of ill-repute that is an effect upon something in terms of how your mannerism is. You dreamt it in terms of the sponge action of angel food cake, which is like something that occupies a space and expands, and can be like kind of cancerous, or something. You dreamt it as a pipe with tubes and whatnot that is like the wiring system of one’s nature. 

So you basically dreamt it literally, which is how you tend to do; you tend to dream this stuff literally, and then the question is: does one understand it? I mean you kind of dreamt your own brain – or the synapses on an energetic level that the fire off.

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Embrace Everything

There’s a saying that, if you’re not a part of the solution, then you’re a part of the problem. We can look at the universe this way, as well: if we are not connected to, and participating in, and contributing to the purposes and processes of the whole, then we are one of the problems that the universe will have to evolve out as it refines. Yet if we choose to align ourselves with the purposes of the universe, then its possibilities and processes become our possibilities and processes. It becomes a win-win situation. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in my sleep dream, I notice that although I do not see myself as doing much, there’s a giving to each that occurs. I am provided a bottle of wine to share. I’m surprised by the fact that this occurred, given the limited frame of reference of the personal. Nothing is given like this, yet that’s how it is. 

And the meaning is, from the prior meditation dream about the surface mundaneness, as seen in an outer way, comes an intertwined connection which transcends the limitations of time and space, and to do so is to be able to live in one body as a oneness. 

In other words, you share things, you intertwine with things, you support the whole, which is easier said than done because you have to embrace everything. And you don’t know how to support the whole because you only can think of things in your separate way of moving about. You don’t know how to undulate; you have to let it all crumble. You’re in a vacuum, a vacuum that’s a wholeness. 

So, in this dream, I see myself as being a bit shattered from how I usually am in that I am going about playing it safe. This isn’t my nature, I have a sense of there being so much more that is to be probed out. For me, it’s like a probing-out aspect, or sensed out; probing isn’t the right word because probing still is involved with a type of approach in a separate way. It has to be sussed out somehow. 

When I act like this I still sense, in my nature, that there’s more to life. To try and stay clean acts as a prescription that gets you in a hole when you try to play it safe. And to get in a hole is to like be covered with fine dust. Nor can I retire to a quiet nook. 

Seeing myself like that was quite a shock. And so then I recount the images because, yes, there’s kind of like summing it, the images are walking over a berm on the edge of a road and falling through in the ditch, or something, through the fine dust that is blown there, or gathered there. And when I fall through it, it’s kind of like falling into a hole, you know, that just suddenly opens up and that goes over my head. 

What I had been doing was walking in the ditch thinking that it was somehow easier than walking on a dusty road, because I have a fine suit on that I’m trying to keep clean. Yet here I am, I’m stuck, I have to be pulled out, and I’m in fine dust. Such ambivalence. 

So what is going on is my dream is pointing out that there is a shift that I am to attentively be party to, a shift from being in the ambivalent separation, and the attempt to function in a unique way, because checking out or trying to play it safe isn’t going to work in terms of who I am. In other words, playing it safe as if you’re separate.

From prior dreams, I’m seeing that the way I’m intended to be is a person who doesn’t really go through life in a laissez-faire way because I know I am connected to everything there is, and to be connected defies appearances in an outer-motif way. In the sensation to not break through, and to remain in a sense-only orientation, is like being plagued as if in a controlled-waiting trance. In other words, you’d have to let it all crumble, like you have in your dream. 

As I see this trance in myself and in others, I see, for example, in others, them striving to dial into themselves or sense something more, but not breaking through. Most of the time they don’t see that, but I can see that in others; it’s as if there’s something yonder and hilt always trying to take you somewhere, and then people just go off into this, or into that. Being like that and being in a world that is zoned-out is stifling. It is hard when you know that there is so much more – but how do you break the bubble? And I must do it such that what I am reflects in others accordingly. In other words, the oneness, the quality of the intertwining. We are not meant to remain in a strung-out capacity. 

The theme of the dreaming is about the importance of an intertwined, interconnected oneness, which is passing everyone by who goes around in some separate-capacity way, which doesn’t work. We go nowhere in this mundane way, a way that is especially mundane and stifling for those who sense that they have to break this trance.

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Eyes of the World

We all know the feeling of being watched while we do something we’ve done a thousand times before, but, because we are self-conscious, we aren’t able to proceed smoothly. And perhaps we have experienced the grace of trying to help others, when we are in service to something greater than ourselves, where something seems to assist us on our way. We are always being watched; the higher aspects of life notice and want to support our non-personal self. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my meditation dream, my challenge in life is to support, and water, that which I have placed my attention upon. That’s the challenge that I have taken on. In other words, that’s how I see myself. 

And I see this as being akin to attending an agricultural field. I rely upon mostly water I’ve developed on my own. There’s something difficult about having to be like that, because it’s easier to flood irrigate, but that’s not a sort of flow I can depend upon. My attention is mostly placed on being able to get up and down in a time consuming way. 

So I’m describing the condition of the modality that one is stuck in from the way one’s attention is; it’s like being called out on it. When I observe myself getting in and out of the trunk of my car, I come across as being older than I am. If I must think about something as if I am watched, it tends to take me longer, and more tries than usual, to complete a task. I am always in my own way. 

I always start off in a jarred capacity, and you just get the images – if you knew what they meant. They’re all letting go of stuff; let the crumbling happen. In my particular case, I have to complain. I’m describing how things are in the world from an outer appearance and frame of reference. This is the mundane perspective. And when it’s like that you’re inclined to see things as being other than what they are. And, as a consequence, you’re inclined to conduct yourself thinking about that.

Why am I seeing it this way? The reason I am being shown this, in my dream, is this is how it comes across in the eyes of the world when seen from the personality perspective. And the personality perspective is always something that’s separated, that breaks away from how something is meant to be held together. 

Deep down I know there’s more than that. This is how it is for those who are marking time as they go through life. How I really am somewhere is not apparent from this mundane perspective. And it is how I am somewhere that I need to place my attention.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Eyes of the World