When we have conditions about anything we limit the possibilities that might unfold. At times the conditions we impose might be an appropriate safeguard to what is important for us. At other times, however, our conditions are barriers to a letting go to the potential that lies ahead, and is based more in fear than in rationality. It is important to discern this distinction in our conscious awareness as we proceed. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So the theme of last night was about there being a place that one could be in, that is, like for me it had more color or light to it. It seemed like it was alone and empty. And that it was just something that you were able to inflect into when you properly, or truly, just let go.
And I was distinguishing this from a stillness that is like an emptiness, but still has a conditionality in the way. So you dreamt this in trying to put this into a spaciality by bringing in the masculine element to review your up and down-ism in terms of it. And yet the feminine side of yourself had the sensation quality that you can’t help but notice when you settle back – that you had the sensation quality of this something more. And so it kind of gives you hope, a sense of hope or something, or something, to something more.
My sleep dream is very close to it, because my meditation dream dealt more with whatever it was that I am still contending with that is like a parasitic behavior that’s affecting how it is that I’m able to correspond. But, in the dream, rather than viewing it as a parasitic type thing, possessing me in some fashion, in the dream I’m just seeing myself as being around a person who can go inside herself and into a plane of light.
I have a sense of how I am familiar with this from long ago. But, as I glance at myself, in a sort of referencing or re-referencing, I realize that there is something benign about it because it’s like a non-event; it’s like a dull stillness. I comment that she should take others with her when she, so to speak, zooms to this place within.
As I say this, I notice that there are complexities I carry that distinguish me from such a letting go, as I settle and have to inflect, or look, and acknowledge. You kind of do this in an experiential spaciality of having a way of recognizing what it is that I have settled for, that’s still caught in the zone that I’m in of stillness. In other words, because stuff comes up. There’s still something on a vibratory level that haunts me.
So as I say this, and have inflected that as a knee-jerk to what I had just commented, I notice that she just ignores what I said. And, as she ignores, I inflect upon the distinctions that are different now, for me, and from how things were long ago in my emptiness. The sense and sensation I now have is that dhyana is not interesting by comparison, and maybe an experience that has a togetherness quality about it. But to go to the plane of the soul, where a sense of emptiness predominates and there are more colors, you just do this on your own.
It’s almost as if I’m now looking at this as if it’s a non-shareable experience. In other words, you can either pick it up, or you don’t; it’s experienced as an emptiness. That is how I remember it works. And this occurs when nothing noticeable exists, not even the idea. So as I look back upon the stillness, I have the inflection of a weightiness that is different for me. And, in that weightiness, I am still looking about. This inflection occurred when I made the dumb and unanswered comment to this woman: Why don’t you take others with you when you go to this soul-level place?
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