Holding a Truth

We can think of everything we are distracted by, or worried about, or angry over, in the outer as a rabbit hole we begin to run down when our personal involvement takes hold. How far we travel down these interior detours is a matter of how unconscious we are in that moment. The more unconscious we are, the further we go. Yet they are always a digression from the reality at hand. When we stay conscious of this fact, rather that taking the detour, we can begin the process of moving forward in ourselves to a place of equilibrium again. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My meditation dream was difficult because I was not able to go into the usual stillness, because something inside of me was racing away. And, when you can’t go into the usual stillness, then you get into the indulgence of whatever and however it is that you’re racing inside. And, when you’re racing inside, it’s because you are overindulgent in terms of your attention to some sort of outer thing, or outer unfoldment. 

The whole thing to know is that whatever that outer unfoldment is, it isn’t for you, in terms of its effect upon you, where it’s stealing and taking your entire attention. And so, as you become more conscious, you know how to still that, or just let go of it, or just drop it – to stop the mind, so to speak. And, usually, I’m able to do that and go into the emptiness within. And then, when I do that, then I’m able to be taken from the plane of indulgence of my outer five senses, and experience the inner, or the wholeness, the overallness. In other words, the essence. 

And, of course, the degree to which I don’t fully experience that, but am still welling in it to some degree, are states that you go through. So not able to let go, because that didn’t seem to be something I could shake last night. And all of a sudden it was getting later and later, I decided to lay down. Sometimes that works. Sometimes you’re just kind of sitting there, and you’re able to let go, then, of however it is that you’re just spinning and spinning. Because once you start to spin, then you start to itch and scratch and you can’t sit there – and it just becomes a conundrum of things. 

So this time, when I laid down, it led to hallucinations. And I find out that I don’t want to have anything to do with, well, in this case, I guess I don’t want to have anything to do with untrustworthy presence. And I won’t let anyone in my family relate, either. 

And, in my family, I have kids, and I won’t let these kids play with the septic pumper’s kids because they’ve all been contaminated by the septic pumpers in terms of being raised to look at things in the wrong way. 

So, in this way, I’m able to remain unstigmatically real, or so I think, you know, by having this push off, except this is all done on a hallucinogenic level.


And so how does this function? For one thing, like I say, I won’t let the kids play with anything correlated to that which opposes the overall aliveness with its demeanor. So, in a way, it’s actually positive. It’s negative and positive. The positive of that is that I hold to a truth, I hold to the essence – instead of trying to noodle with the other.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Holding a Truth

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