We all know what it’s like to clean out an attic: we open a box and have memories triggered from years ago and, often, we slow down and look over the contents piece by piece. With each object we go deeper and deeper into the past. On the inner, when we relive an old pattern or mechanism we have used for years, it is the same – we don’t know whether to save it, cherish it, use it, or get rid of it. The effect is to detour us from our present state into a different state – and an old energetic – that likely doesn’t serve who, or where, we currently are. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: The meditation dream starts out in which I notice that I am meticulously observing that which I documented long ago. In other words, whatever occurred long ago has been written down, or has been taken down, in minute detail to the point that, oh my goodness, not again, I can’t do it that way, kind of thing. I’ve been there and done it that way, and that’s just way too heavy.
So the repeat pattern is here again. But this pattern stirs up the vibrations of the past – and this is hard on the heart. I tell myself I am shortening the effect. Because, see, I have this whole thing in the past that I can lay out, almost as if I can just go back and pull it all out to where, by pulling all this out, I somehow can find a shortcut, or not go completely in repeat to the nausea at all.
So I tell myself I’m shortening the effect to relieve the energetic. The effect that I need to shorten, or think that I can shorten, is in and of itself, in its full weight, nauseous and draining. I’m not in touch with my higher self when I’m like that. I’m twisted, and, just like long ago, I see myself as getting energetically torn up.
So why is this noteworthy? And why am I reliving this? I am being shown that what is going on in the outer is a repeat pattern, of an inner energetic I carry, which clouds the soul. I’m recognizing a pattern which has me reliving the past, energetically, all over again. Will I break through the spell that I am under, or do I go back under the spell again and remain there in an illusion I recreated?
Meaning: In this meditation dream I am being shown a heavy heartedness I carry. The heavy heartedness disconnects me from an essence within, which is connected to the soul of life. I do not want to be separate from the soul, and am being shown that I am causing this to happen. I do this by causing the consciousness around me to shrink away defensively – and there is a letting go of the bigger picture.
I am meant to embrace the bigger picture as me, not be a bit player on the periphery of that picture. The oneness I need has gotten lost by an abstraction I am caught up in.
To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Clouding the Soul