If someone were to offer us the exact thing we wanted, we might be a little suspicious; we might ask: what’s the catch? We can be like that in our interior life, as well, where we may feel wary about that new aspect that is trying to integrate itself with us. Yet, just as with chase dreams, the ultimate goal of our subconscious processes is greater connection, not a clean getaway. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
Jeane: I don’t remember that much about my dreams last night, except it felt like I was at a party. And it was a family party, not necessarily my family, but people that were there are all parts of families, different ages, at least adolescent on up.
And it felt like coming and going and trying to figure out who in the family was kind of true. And who was kind of part of some subterfuge. So it felt like I was trying to sort that out. That’s the best way to describe the dream.
Or I may have been part of a subterfuge and I was coming and going, I don’t know. But there was something I was sorting out in that regard, where I seem to be observing and then coming and going.
John: I think subterfuge is the wrong word, in terms of what you’re trying to describe, in that there is a quality of something that one has a responsibility and an attention towards that if you drop that focus and attention towards that in terms of a type of connectedness that you’re meant to have with that, in terms of yourself, as a greater being of self, if you let go of that, then what ends up happening is that something kind of goes into an amnesia. It goes sideways, or things aren’t what they appear. Things lose a vibrancy.
The secret to becoming more conscious and waking up is to recognize how it is that you are connected and involved in everything that is occurring in your life. So when you’re saying that it is subterfuge, it’s you choosing to set aside something because it doesn’t strike you as something that you can contend with, or deal with, at a given point in time. And so you’re putting it in suspense to perhaps take it on or deal with it in the future.
And there is no such thing as a future. It’s kind of some sense you feel inside, only you’re taking it in as a type of subterfuge, meaning that it is abstracted from something that you know is meaningful. That would be your way of trying to sort it out.
My way of sorting it out is that something will change in the future that will cause it to become meaningful. Well, both of those are acting as if there is something more, and both attitudes are irresponsible in that you actually have the means inside of yourself to keep something vibrant and alive. And you don’t just put it on the back burner as if something can change, because over a course of time you’ll find out that it really doesn’t change. It actually becomes a malingering vibration that pulls you down.
So you’re looking at this quality, and you’re calling it a subterfuge, and I would call it something slightly different in terms of a type of avoidance of what is a meaningful connection inside of oneself.
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