Staying Lost

We have a tendency to compartmentalize things – it keeps us feeling safer from the prospect of being overwhelmed. Yet when we do this, we tend to neglect those specific areas, which, like a forgotten property, can have a gravitational pull on us even when we don’t acknowledge it. We want to open up all of these compartments and reconnect them together, the way they belong, and the way that is most natural, on our development journey. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: And that’s kind of how I laid it out in my meditation dream, in that I have gone to where there is a person who I’ve entrusted to pay attention to things for me, in this area of my beingness. 

In other words, it’s like the image is there is a piece of property in another town that I’ve almost forgotten about and don’t even know the directions to anymore. And I’ve chosen to try to go back to that to try to awaken that, or at least go back to it. 

And so as part of going back to it, I go to this other place in-between, to where someone who was left kind of so of speak in a kind of charge of things. And I’m trying to get directions from him. Well, I actually don’t need the directions, I kind of know where the town is at, but where am I at in the town? I’ve forgotten the address to the place. I’d probably recognize when I get there, but nice to have an address. 

And I’m impatient, I want this address from this guy right now. And I’m actually a little upset and infuriated because I’m feeling the awkwardness of not having that at my disposal like I know that it should be – because it’s something ancient inside of me. So that was the sense of all of that that was going on. 

So, essentially, you could say an important part of what is going on about myself is put on hold, or something, as if you can do that and something will change. Who am I to be like that? Because this part will stay lost and in an avoidance trance, or it will have gotten to a point that is not reaching anywhere at all anymore, as maybe actually needed in terms of a greater edification of self. 

And it’s not going to change if I fail to face it. Now I might have to do it all; I mean, the human heart encompasses it all. In other words, clearing up a number of other things that are a malingering weight upon me. 

So this is like a teaching dream in terms of coming back into who I am meant to be. This dream is portraying how much I am struggling, in terms of beingness, in which I am confronted with experiencing a panging away, because the loudness in the dream where I was actually angry or upset because I couldn’t find this, I’m panging away in terms of trying to catch up with my whereabouts. In other words, who I really am. 

And we aren’t what we think we are, we’re so much more. So that’s the deeper meaning of this. My way of approaching it is I may not act like something’s trying to keep me from doing it, I may act like, you know, something could change; the universe or something could shift or change. And that I will just wait for it. That can be true, but then that’s an avoidance as well.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Staying Lost

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