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Archive for the ‘Inner / Outer’ Category

oil-refinery-900In our spiritual journey, and in our dreams, we are trying to connect to an inner level, a level of the unconscious, and bring it into consciousness. We can do this while awake if we are not too full in ourselves with the nonsense of daily life. We can do this with our dreams if we are able to remember them upon waking and gain the insights that they can offer us. And we can also get glimpses of the unconscious when we are in that in-between state, between waking and sleeping at night, and between sleeping and waking in the morning. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: There is a quality within that is ordinarily so repressed, and so pent up, that it’s like at a stop sign, or it is limited from flowing, because it has tones, moods, mannerisms, outer involvements, whatever you want to call it, that keep it from awakening as a presence of being.

For me it’s more of a type of flow and action. The way I approach that is, first of all, I’m starting to contend with a kind of hypnagogic as I’m falling into the stillness of meditation. Now this opening up happens in the hypnagogic of the falling asleep zone.

Now I’ve heard, of course, that the hypnagogic was both in the falling asleep and in the waking up, and had only been in touch with that as a quality of contending with the myriad of vibrations, and streamlining those myriad of vibrations, in the waking up process – or the hypnagogic coming from sleep to the senses again.

I am only recently coming to realize that the hypnagogic works in the going to sleep. And, when it works in that regard, it does take in the qualities of being able to recognize how something is meaningful in relationship to an unfolding revelation around you, or, in other words, like a translucent going to sleep imagery that has a vibration that can be deemed quite applicable to going from inner into outer.

The hypnagogic zone in the waking up is more like a zone that is coming in touch with an intertwinement kind of alignment. The hypnagogic when you are going into the stillness, and it is suddenly there before you’re somewhere deep, deep somewhere, is a zone in which there is the breakthrough of that stillness into the outer, or into life. In other words, it’s where the revelation is lived, so to speak, when the other is waking up.

And so my meditation dream, the way that came across was that I was able to tell, based upon the meditation dream, that what I’m going through within, or able to see from within, is connected to an innerness as a value, and I am able now to know the importance even when in the outer you’re not generally ready to notice the correlation, yet to live it you have to see the correlation that everything is part of this coming together.

And in this meditation dream I somehow know that, as strange as that may sound. To know what isn’t visible based upon an unwritten, and unfulfilled, essence, is a reaching to a connection that comes from within and touches the outer appearances. I am shown that I am able to live this inner essence in some aspect in the outer, in fact change that aspect in the outer, even though there’s no evidence other than the innerness in this hypnagogic that is visible.

The importance of an intertwined oneness is the dominant energetic of the dream. Appearances in the outer suggest that there is no reason to proceed any further, in other words, in terms of how things are without this other being there tweaking things in its own little unique way. In other words, what looks like a disconnect, discombobulated unfoldment is able to be, from deep within, intertwined to all that there is, or to what there is that’s meant to come into fruition at this time.

You can characterize it by saying that the day arrives where I need to make a choice. The choice I need to make is to the inner essence, seeable by the eyes of a subtle, all-pervasive connection. The situation is as follows, and so now I describe a scenario, and it’s from and through this scenario – in a hypnagogic way – that I was able to describe the above.

I am in possession of a value, that I need to access, that lies hidden in my beingness and the need exists for it to play a role in the outer. In the scenario, I possess a value, which is this ore deposit, that if shipped a great distance, which means that there’s no place to handle that locally, it will lose too much of its essence, because to ship it a great distance kills the awakening, and it kills what’s possible. It drains the life’s blood out of it.

What is needed is a refinery that’s nearby, that’s inclusive, to work with this, so that it can retain more of the value of its inner essence. So, in the scenario, I am shown how it is possible to bring that connection to a greater closeness, or how to go about a nearby refinery as it is in an outer appearance, in order to protect and facilitate the inner revelation, in terms of coming through.

So the meaning is, is to be able to see this, what has taken place as one is going into the stillness, I’m able to see, and dream, how to connect to an intertwined essence which predominates; in other words, it’s a hidden innerness, but I know how to flow with it, or bring it to the surface into manifestation. I’m able to do this based upon a connection I have, and therefore able to take this innerness and make the outer reflective.

See, ordinarily, when you’re waking up, when it’s the hypnagogic of waking up from a deep sleep, or stillness, back to the senses, the outer is reflective at you, as something as a glancing back, so to speak, kind of waking up.

That’s what the sensation is like, and that’s the flow and the motion, when you are having the hypnagogic state of coming from the stillness back into waking up, or coming back into a strange kind of waking up, which is back to the senses. And, as you come back to the senses, you have that reflective to the inner.

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spiritual-psychology-finalWhen we speak of letting go in a spiritual journey, it is because many of the psychologies and defense mechanisms we have established in ourselves prevent us from being who and what we truly are.  We all know the moment when we say or do something that, in retrospect, we know isn’t really us. Well, the universe needs us to really be “us,” in the sense that we are not operating from old wounds, but from an openness and ability to respond to what is actually happening in the moment. And we can let go of those barriers when we understand that they are not useful to our journey, and we put them down, gently, every time they arise in us, replacing them with our greater purpose. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the meditation dream, I come to look at life as if I’m able to see it through the eyes of how chess is, like a chess game. So I proceed through a series of chess games, and the energetic theme is for me to see the process in which the energetic aliveness can be truly there.

So first there is kind of like the dream in which there has to be a defined winner or loser, you feel the intensity of that. And so when it has to be like that, clear distinctions like that, the heart is going to get hurt. It’s going to hurt, and the result is apt to be a lasting wound that will take a long time to recover from.

And it doesn’t matter whether the wound is a stab or a victory. Either way you carry something that is outside of a simple process and intertwined flow, and, when you carry that, the idea of a kind of a coming together is denied for a long, long time.

And then two, there is the game, the chess game, that is played for fun – but a lot of apprehension exists because of a fear over the outcome. In other words, to embarrass yourself, or you won’t hold up to a certain ideal or whatever, which, of course, then that as you can see is another limitation that’s imposed upon the heart.

And then there is the compromised game, that is played off to one side, in which what happens is deemed to have a significant meaningfulness, and that there are consequences. This, too, hurts the heart because there is no freedom.

And then there is the game that’s played reluctantly because to not play the game seems to be another kind of compromise. In this game, there’s a part of myself that is holding back and is defensively veiled.

Finally, there is the game that is played in the center of the road for all to see. There are no handlers. There is just a focus and attention. There is no winner or loser, just the experiencing of that which is unfolding. In this game, the energetic intertwines as an extension of each person who is putting their heart on the line, and a graciousness, thereby, predominates.

However, the aliveness will be lost if there is some sort of definition, such as the need to keep score, which creates a separation from that naturalness of the inner and outer one beingness. So what I’m talking about is, in terms of the fifth game, is it’s a game that’s rarely played. The reason is because all of the other games are designed around a saving-face limitation. These are compromises. They are like a compromise, a fear, or an aspect of ego in each of those games and, in those games, the heart suffers under a veil in some fashion or another.

It’s just this final game where the heart is placed on the table, or in this case in the center of the road for all to see, that something is different in terms of now a greater overallness. You’re actually more free in this game right. The other dreams are holding onto, or holding out, as if there is a definable truth. They all have burdens: a) the game is never played, is a burden. I mean that was one aspect that I didn’t mention earlier. The game is never played. In other words, it had been played once upon a time. There’s a memory of it, and so then the weakness, but you allow a weakness to thus predominate in life, or b) if the game is a duel, then a duality predominates as a broken half truth, or c) if there is fear, then the letting go gets lost, and d) if there are conditions, then the openness is lost.

So if I feel I am compelled, or forced, to play because I cannot stand the alternatives, such a reluctancy presides for what is truly possible. Okay, so the bifurcation. The freedom is only when all the choices are on the table for all to see, no matter what happens, so that there is no winner or loser, an out in the open wonderment, then, and only then, can the free flow embrace the heart. All other approaches carry an attention that goes outside the heart and lead to an estrangement in some way or another.

So now I have to progress this. So when I come to bed the first thing that happens is I have to denote that from the meditation dream there were memories of having been restrained by denseness and darkness. It’s actually visualized in a sleep dream as a type of darkness. And those memories haunt me as if very fresh to my being.

The first part of my sleep dream is about having to contend, having to be afflicted, finding myself afflicted, trying to sort out, trying to mitigate whatever such limitations, and the progress in denoting, or trying to see how I’m denoting, a progress that I’m slowing making that work as part of working this out.

The result is a demeanor that takes on a quality, takes on a limitation, in that you can still have a stigma about yourself in which there’s a part that refuses to be denied. In other words, if you’ve broken through to some degree, that refusal to be denied is like an entitlement. For example, I push to the front of lines and feel that I’m entitled to get an early jump on crossing the street or something. I’m like this because the repressed conditions that I have a memory of, or are accustomed to being under, have left a mark upon my beingness. I have trouble letting go and being completely natural as a result of such suppressions of the past.

Well the reason for the dream is the barriers I faced in my formative years have left a stigma on my nature. I used to play chess for the inner enjoyment it offered. My innocence got compromised at an early age and, as a result, I have an edginess about me that gets in the way of letting go and trusting in a natural inner free flow. In the meditation dream I identify a number of the nuances that have affected me. The vibratory wounds are like a memory which makes it difficult to let go and accept the openness, and vulnerability, needed to bring the overallness of my nature into life.

And so this meditation dream revelation is, I was meant to realize that I need to be fearless and open to all of life as an open book for all to see and reach,meaning, or suggesting, and indicating, and pointing out that I’m not yet able to let go to an inner free flow where all is well. Or, to put it more bluntly, woundology memory is still stigmatizing.

So what that indicates is to let go of barriers I impose in the outer is something I am able to vibrationally recognize as a need on an inner dream level. So I’m able to see the need of taking this, as a degree of inner to outer awareness, to the next step. And, of course, the next step is living it, but I do not yet live it because I have a ways to go in letting go. I am still watching the way the defense mechanisms are haunting my overall beingness. It is as if I am still in a kind of rebellious teenage phase, so to speak, not yet ready to be me.

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12-sBeing human puts us in a unique position: we are able to bring higher, finer, energies into the coarser physical realms. Nothing else can do that, and it is part of our birthright and possibility, not to mention an aspect of our ability to serve something higher than ourselves. And this is where our consciousness and freedom of choice become interesting, because each of us can be the access way for different energies, because of our passions, intentions, and actions. In this way, what we can offer the universe is completely individual and unique. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream, I am seeking to determine from the other zones, in other words or levels or whatever you want to call them, how something is going on, or what is going on. An imbalance in that regard exists in the physical world.

I’m not trying to figure out the inner essence like you’re doing. I’m not trying to figure that imbalance out. I’m instead interested in the inner level, or levels, and how to recognize that, or perhaps even fix that if something needs to be fixed. If I see the same imbalance in the reflective outer I ponder what that might be in terms of what is really going on on the inner.

So when I stare in the inner, to the degree to which I’m ungrounded or something in the outer, and dismiss the outer, I’m finding myself trying to see the little equivocation or imbalanced note that I’m able to pick up, I’m trying to see that on the inner. And then when I see something that seems a little equivocated on the inner, I try to look even further on the inner.


So I’m going from level, to level, to level all the way to the point where eventually it gets to be too much to take in and so I never get the job done. In other words, in the dream, I’m not able to determine why the issue is a problem on the inner levels. I say inner levels because it seems that there was no simple explanation for why something was amiss from any level that I accessed.

The significance is what is interesting is that I was intent upon focusing my attention upon what was going on, in the inner planes of life instead of the outer. I was so intent in this approach that the outer detail is virtually forgotten. I would look and look at the nuances on a given inner level to no avail, as I would realize at some point that a resolution was yet from a still deeper inner level – and on and on it went.

Each step took me more and more into this subtle intangible, further away from visually understanding upon the lower planes of manifestation, of which upon the planes of manifestation I’m being dismissive, even though that’s where I am finding myself is on the physical plane of manifestation, as I am looking to see what is going on in terms of the inner coming into the outer.

And so what I’m noticing is that, when I probe deeper, what is inclined to happen is I even start letting go of some of the prior inner levels in which there can be a kind of experientiality that maybe can be graspable in terms of whatever the imbalance is, and instead I just feel the imbalance or the offness on some of the inner levels. And so I just keep trying to get subtler and subtler in my more transcendent way.

So what is going on is the dismissiveness I have on the planes of manifestation correspond, you know, because if I have that lack of focus there, I will have that lack of focus on the inner, so they correspond to the inner aspect as well. I must look at that and, if I do, I realize that the imbalance here is echoing from yet a deeper level of my beingness.

In other words, if I’m properly grounded that’s not so, but if I’m a little ungrounded then everything stays ungrounded as far and however you look. So the result of the seeking is I am taking the position, and it’s the wrong position to take, of course, but to understand the denser levels I have to go to the inner source. In other words, not realizing that you can peek behind the curtains and see that here, and that’s what’s called getting grounded or being here now.

I’m finding that this approach takes me to more and more intangible inner levels that, as they get my attention, I realize I have to go even deeper into the inner for the reason behind it all to be revealed. A point is reached where I realize that what I seek on the inner is ungraspable because the inner goes on and on, and there is no inner essence part that I can say, ahh-hah, this is it, and everything now makes sense.

So the meaning is, what I seek to know is like saying I am God, and I have a right to know the innermost aspects of the spirit and soul. What I am finding out is that I could access the unfolding inner will, but I am not able at a given point of overall beingness to be the epicenter, or the Will of God, per se. Or, to put it another way, try as I might to explain what is going on upon the inner planes of access, I cannot. These inner planes just go on and on, one subtler level after another.

So the hint is, what good is access to such levels if I do not accept and deal correspondingly with how it is that I am in the outer – and what that is about? I access the will in the outer and it is not really any different than the inner levels, except that this physical plane is where I am at and, as a result, on this level the Will of God is presenting itself reflectively, right in front of me, and is including me in this denser outer process.

So the reason for the dream is, I am being shown that when I dismiss, or disregard, the outer reflective flow, this same ungroundedness demeanor shows up on each corresponding inner level, and the pattern goes on and on within. The Sufi statement of accepting the directive of what God wants and designs as the will for the sake of a home promised on the inner, which is meant to give you both, is as good as it gets in terms of me being able to see around the denser curtains, so to speak, to the inner will; denser curtains, or the fabric of physical existence.

And also the meaning is that I am not accepting, in the outer, all aspects of the Will of God and, as a result, am not able to be at peace in the outer – or any inner level, for that matter, because it goes on and on. You just never get there.

The path to the Kingdom of Heaven, as the saying goes, goes through the densest of all planes. The densest of all planes is physical manifestation. I know this, and it is for that reason that I am here. So the joke is, is that in seeking to understand the outer physical reflective state care must be taken to not annihilate and, by association, dismiss what is going on in the outer. To do so is to be ungrounded, and to be ungrounded like that is to be not attentive to my beingness here as a beingness that is intertwined to the inner, and to the outer, or the above. I am not able to give up one for the other. I need what is going on here for an appreciative correspondence.

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