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Archive for the ‘Inner / Outer’ Category

2-brainIt is a curious thing, and a fantastic thing, that there is always more to life, and there is always more to us. No matter how far we go, or what heights we attain, we have always just reached a new plateau from which we can go farther still. In this way, our systems and the universe await us, always ready to give us the next thing, the next development, the next elevation. We are always unfinished – also a good thing – so our systems are always trying to awaken us to what is newly possible. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, to try to break it down, I get it in bits and pieces, little bites. This starts off with the dream in which I’m standing along the sidelines of a play field. It’s like a baseball field, and these teams are kind of like klutzes out there, as far as I could tell. In fact, it bugs me to watch how sloppy they are.

And so I end up shouting things out because, my gosh, this is absurd. And so it’s as if, in a break in the action, one of the players he’s a very, very tall, kind of big guy, that I’ve never seen before comes over to where I’m at because of my reaction.

I proceed to stay in the reaction, and I’m telling him what I think, and he won’t listen. He just immediately interrupts me by saying that there is nothing I can do about it, and that he could easily give me an elbow and no one would pay any attention. And that I should keep this to myself.

I realize that if he hadn’t interrupted me, and drowned out what I was trying to say, and had just merely responded in relationship to the energy that was being kicked out, it could have been a bad scene.

And so what was this like? Here I am reacting, and yet what was this baseball team really like, because in the next image I see the two teams as they are each leaving the field, first one and then the other. The first team has those Dumbledore hats, kind of lumpy looking, goofy, hats as they move off. And then the other is wearing kind of what you would see in a carnival, you know like a huckster in a carnival, kind of a round hat. And that’s when I realized that there’s nothing I could say under these circumstances that’s going to make any sense, which means that I just have to drop all this is what it amounts to.

See, what this dream is really talking about is the holding onto a type of mood or a tone that keeps one from pulling together all of the pieces, and components, that need to be pulled together in order for there to be this whole other consciousness.

And so then in the next one there is a teacher who is going to instruct a class on how to listen to sound. And he hasn’t started yet, and decides to go to the bathroom. There’s like probably eight or nine people in there. I get the sense that it’s going to start maybe as the precursor of maybe putting your fingers in your ears, and then it’s going to evolve into something where you could see light with your eyes closed.

But when he leaves, a kid jumps up and he says, well, I can do that. And so he comes to the front and then tells everybody to put their fingers in their ears and everything, and when the teacher returns there’s everybody copying the kid.

And then, on another occasion, it’s like I’m upstairs in a building, in other words, by upstairs meaning there’s steps that you go down to the entrance and it opens up; when you come up the steps it opens up into kind of like a bigger area. And, normally, there are students there, and students of this other teacher. And they’ve kind of moved off to one side because something is to happen, and that something doesn’t directly involve them.

And so the teacher is to come, and so rather than wait I start down the steps, going to greet the teacher; it’s a woman teacher. It’s like Elvira. Do you remember Elvira?

And so I come about halfway down, as she comes in, and what’s involved is we’re to go up the steps and then I’m to play her a game of chess. Now, I haven’t played chess for years, so this could be a little absurd and ridiculous. But that’s what’s involved, and as we’re about to sit down one of the students comes from somewhere off to one side and hands me this large book, that’s about six inches or something thick. And so I glance in it quickly and it has dates, and names, and some interesting drawings of something to be, but I don’t know why it was handed to me. It makes no sense to me.

The meaning of this is that last night there are image after image reflecting to a deeper, unknown, subtle beingness within, along with a subtle connectivity simultaneously imbedded. What is going on in each image is this subtle beingness, that is in an amnesic state and is not able to make itself aware to me, is moving around nevertheless. And this is awkward, and I can’t really handle it, because I’m not able to pull it through so it’s like causing a headache.

And then, when you look at the meditation dream, I learn that this has to do with a psyche, and a natural connection therein, that I am not taking on yet. It has been veiled, and this subtle vibration, which I haven’t been experiencing consciously, is seeking to make itself known.

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In spiritual development, going deeper inside is a way of describing what it feels like to move our center of gravity from the outer, physical world, to the world of energetic connections. And these connections are considered subtle, to begin with, because they are usually drowned out by the noise of external considerations and personal involvement. Yet, as we proceed, quietening the noise of ourselves, what is subtle will become much louder to us, and become the intelligence we turn to rather than using only our brain. This level is a connected, guided life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my particular case I got a glimpse of it, and that’s what screwed me up in meditation, and then everything was just all haywire in terms of the dreams.

In the meditation dream I appear to be asking the question: is there another level of consciousness that I have no sense about? I sense that this must be so, as a furtherance of the reason for manifestation and the illusionary struggles, the reason why they’re there, because you can look at all the stuff in manifestation and then you could see that it’s about something.

So I experience a glimpse of the greater letting go stillness, that I am aware exists, at the interval of the breath. So this is typical stuff. This is my usual pattern. I’m back to looking at this because, is there something more? And this, for me, has been as good as it gets as far as I know, but still I’m wondering about this, about there being more, as I notice that in spite of that there is still the reaching further within, when the outer that is in a dire straight is exemplified. In other words, where you have to take responsibility for it. If you don’t take responsibility for it, you can kind of move that way.

For a split second I get a glimpse of something I had never taken into account before. In other words, it was like a level of being, a quality of being, that I couldn’t put any parameters, I couldn’t put my finger on, and, as a consequence, it really throws you haywire. And so I was baffled, and bewildered, and had no context. I’m talking about it in kind of a denial way, but what it does is it makes you almost crazy, immediately; you just can’t look at it. You have to drop it immediately. You have to dismiss it because it’s too hard on the circuits, or, as I put it, I had to let it go because it was too much.

The idea that there is yet another aspect of being, which is even subtler than what I currently sense in regards to the breath, was too much for me to accept. I mean I couldn’t get a handle on it at all. It just went kapoof. It blew all of that. It was like a shift from all that had been.

So I lack a context for this at this time. In order for this to exemplify an even deeper depth to the denseness, in other words, that’s what this is kind of like, in order to take something to a dire extreme, like the perspective of peace in the world or something like that, which, deep down, one knows is helpless, in order to be a hold to that you have to have this quality somewhere within, that is ordinarily, if you don’t do it, too sensitive, and subtle to catch up with, or to make itself known.

To make sense of things, in a non-crazed way, it would seem that within a greater indulgence into the reflective outer, which normally leads to a greater delirium, but when you can go into that and hold something deeper yet inside, the only way you can go more into the outer and indulge more in the outer is to have this other that better be there, the subtler quality of your beingness, because otherwise you just dismiss things that you see in the outer as reckless and foolhardy.

Thus, the deeper truth behind tipping at windmills, in terms of a being, is a deeper calling and aspect of our nature. If it’s not awakened, you don’t do it, because your common sense and your mental understanding of things keeps you from going into things that are futile. You have to sense, or know, that a greater moreness, or awareness, or quality of subtleness that’s latent within, you have to have a sense of that to do it, because, rationally speaking, based upon the way I am observing things at this time, and, of course, trying to do that in cohesion with the breath – it will make no sense.

So there is the something else isn’t there, and how is it taught? How do you teach that? So to repeat, all of this musing is because I glimpse something subtler that I had never seen, as an aspect within, and had to drop it as it was too much, too destabilizing, and invoked a going crazy insanity.

Scenario: I’m theming along the lines of putting into my heart a denser outer that I dismiss as hopeless. This is not consciously possible without this other subtler beingness embodied simultaneously. So that’s the meditation dream. Isn’t that odd?

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When a beaver builds a dam, or bees build a hive, it is done with the genetic intelligence of its history applied to the current circumstance. Said another way, even processes that are done repetitively always face new challenges in the reality of the new situation: for the beaver that could mean the cycles of flooding and drought in the area, and for the bees it could mean the way wind moves through the branches. The outer world provides the canvas for progress and development for every species, including the human, because it will always challenge us to stretch to the farthest reaches of our possibility  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I just remember part of one dream, and the part I remember it felt like I was more of an observer, and I had gone to spend the night with these young people that were sharing an apartment. And they were all kind of computer geniuses, but they were a little flaky when it came to how to relate to people, or ordinary things, in the world.

They were trying to decide on whether they were going to share a house together, but they didn’t seem to know quite how to go about knowing how to relate to each other, so it was like I was talking about them. I was kind of amazed really about the amount of money they had earned just working with computers and things like they did, but at the same time they just didn’t seem to have some common sense about how to relate to a roommate. So I was talking to them about some decisions they should make about whether they shared a house together, which room who would take.

Then I seem to go out on the street again and I was observing, what were they going to do next? I was just curious. And then, as the dream progressed, again I felt like I was just an observer trying to figure out how some things worked in the world, but I lost some of the dream because I had a headache.

John: Well, the reason why one would have a headache over a dream like that is usually things unfold and you have your attention placed upon kind of a rhythmic unfoldment. And, in this particular case, it was like you were confronted with having to bring parts of one’s self that are accentuated, in terms of having developed, or gotten to a particular point, and you’re now having to bring that together into a connectivity.

It’s one thing to be able to deal with parts of one’s self in kind of an aspected way. It’s another thing to have to integrate all of that in order for there to be yet another kind of overall flow. Now what that’s really pointing to, and probably that more than anything else is what gives one the headache, is that the pulling of that together causes the dropping of something. The pulling of that together, that chaos of all of the parts is pulled together in the outer, and when that gets pulled together what it’s pulled together into is a greater subtleness of being.

Now when one says a greater subtleness of being, really what you’re doing is you’re catching up then with a way that you can come across, and be, that you’ve never seen before, or you’ve never met or known before. And so it’s apparently close to the surface, and it’s more than you can essentially handle, simply because you’ve never dealt with it before. It’s kind of a Greek part of yourself.

So the new information here is that the parts of yourself that are kind of unique, and genius, and this and that and the other, however they all are, that have developed or been brought up through, and to, a certain point, now have to be brought into a common cohesion, into the same house, into a connectivity. And the effect of doing that causes the spirit energy, which is an aliveness, which is like a beingness, which is like a higher-quality connectivity, it causes that to be there. And it’s a bit of a gulp when that suddenly pops in, or is there, because it’s not in keeping with your usual way of looking at yourself. In fact, you’ve never looked at this before. It’s just a whole other shift.

All of the aspects had caused a certain kind of an intention, and a certain kind of dwelling, and a certain kind of preoccupation, and they were like sparks, or flickers, off of this other inner, essential being that is you. And so when you take the sparks and the flickers back into the house, into the connectivity, then this other is suddenly there – and that’s a big gulp because whatever this other is, however this other is, is something that you have no report on until all of that other is pulled together. Then that comes into a sense of knowingness.

See, the theme of the dreaming, the question in the dreaming, was: what is the importance of the outer? There are qualities in the outer that are futile, and you can’t reject anything. And so if you can’t reject anything and you have all these futile things going on, in the outer, and all of that is connected to you in some fashion, how do you pull all of this back, or bring all of that that has flickered out, how do you bring all of the flickerings back into a connectivity, into a communion, into a cohesion of yourself? That isn’t recognizable until all of the parts that are shattered, and scattered, until all of that is brought back, and then what you see and come to grasp is a whole new kind of, whatever you want to call it, a whole new kind of consciousness of being.

In other words, this is the importance of the outer, and this is the importance of why there is the expression that goes out into the outer, even in futile ways, is that it’s necessary to pull something of a whole other level that is possible in the outer.

So it’s like you have these various practices, that’s kind of like of an inner nature, and in the outer you have all the chaos of things that, when brought together, cause something to emerge too. They look like they’re both doing opposite things, but they pull to the same kind of consequence, kind of awareness, of a greater beingness of yourself.

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