Archive for the ‘Inner / Outer’ Category

Each of us has a different process for learning. And sometimes we are quick to see, and sometimes we are more dense about things. But one aspect of the process is in being able to notice the difference between states. If we are always wayward from our path, then that will seem normal to us. If we get a glimpse of what it’s like and how it feels to be connected, and energized by higher things, then we will have a reference for when we slip back to our old ways. This reference point helps in making us more conscious of the process in us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream I am shown that being off about things, like human beings start out in life being, that this initial step is natural. It’s like it’s anticipated and recognized that everyone has to go through this initial step where they have to go out and be bewildered a bit.

To continue to be off, when others around you are getting it to some degree, is actually better than going through spiritual illusions. In other words, it comes to a point when you see that you’re off, and then you can start trying to make adjustments; screen yourself as if you’re weaponizing, or aiming, yourself at the center of yourself. 

But that actually leads, although it may be like a type of reflective to the heart because everything still is vying for the heart and whatnot, and it’s not finding itself in the total stillness and overallness of the heart, you’re, to some degree yo-yoing. That’s spiritual illusion again. 

And creating pacified arguments as to why this is better than the sheer density; to a certain degree that is true, but in the sheer raw energy density of things is something that is very, very loud to the heart. And if you really note and denote what that is doing to the heart, it can form a memorable quality to it that won’t settle for illusionary spiritual qualities either. It requires so much more. 

So to continue to be out of it, and overly dense, I am shown, awakens a person quicker. This is a revelation that was a surprise to me that if you actually, so to speak, declare war on God and quit trying to do spiritual things or something like that, like I’ve done, you develop a keenness to hurting a heart that others can toy with and kind of keep somewhat veiled; go at more slowly, circling it, so to speak, with their process. 

So I’m pondering the deeper meaningfulness of this vibration, I am noticing that to continue to be way off in demeanor, as if I am a slow learner, causes the heart to be where it must let go. And that slingshots a person to the inner depths of themselves. If you go to the depths of yourself where you experience the pain and declare war, so to speak, to try to maintain some sort of ignorance to too great of an extreme way, because you lack common sense or something, you hold that, you create a memory to that, that becomes like a fine tuning fork to the subtler vibrations, then, in the other direction. 

But if you hold a balance and equanimity, try to control the light or something, you sit in between; you don’t really go to a deep, deep depth. This could be used as a criticism of those who just do practices and ceremonies and stuff like that as a type of pacifier, as opposed to really, truly getting into life. Those who utilize that sort of thing see themselves as making spiritual progress and whatnot, but it’s measured, it has its parameters. 

So to try to be conscious leads to spiritual illusions, and results in not noticing the heart as being all-important. See, the key thing is, is that when you delve into a certain depth, like in a raw energy density or whatever of yourself, if you never do that, then you don’t recognize the importance, necessarily, of the heart. You don’t make it loud enough to know how you can really, really hurt it. And then that hurting reverberates and reverberates, and can be used, then, to recognize subtler aspects that are caught on the breath that you might normally think are okay.

For example, a person who is attached to dense things comes to know over a course of time that this hurts and stabs the heart. However, a person who goes off on a spiritual tangent tends to convince themselves that hurting the heart is part of the process, because they haven’t hurt it enough to realize that this is absurd. And does so in the name of waking up – is you create this whole self-conceptualized illusion. They put all kinds of things in it to support it; it’s where spiritual elders come in, and all kinds of strange things, instead of being responsible to yourself.

That approach is not only self-deceptive, but it is a harder mannerism to overcome than that of a person who is more dense for a longer period of time. There comes a point in time when you kind of gain an understanding of how to cope. It’s better that you don’t think that you know how to cope, it’s better that you continue to stay a little bit lost – more loudly in that – in order to break through it. 

What I am saying is that a person is more compelled to hear the heart when they are obviously wayward in their way of being, they are able to get it more abruptly. A person who sees themselves as making progress step by step is more inclined to be left behind. rationalizing their actions as being meaningful.

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In our naturalness, we are all hidden gems – just needing some polishing to truly shine. In our life, we are designed to do that polishing to a high luster. But, mostly, our experiences cause psychologies and defense mechanisms that further dull and hide our shine and beauty. Being conscious of when these psychologies arise allows us to name them and then let them go. This is not accomplished in one go, but by gentle and consistent reminders – until only the gem is left. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So I remember two things from dreaming last night. In one dream, I think my dad is standing somewhere behind me, and you’re there. 

And, for some reason, I’ve decided that I want a ring. I already have the gold band, and I know that you have some uncut stones, uncut gems. And so I’ve had you go get your gems and there’s this kind of a long, jagged, red ruby, and I’ve picked that out because I know it can be polished up and it’ll make a really pretty stone to set into the ring. 

You’re surprised that I even want this, but you seem to be going along with it. That was the first dream.

John: So what the dream is doing is the dream is creating a scenario in which there is embedded a vibration; some aspect on the breath that may be dormant, or hidden, or out of any present equation – that is still sitting there harboring something.

Whenever there is an aspect on the breath that is still harboring something it gets in the way of the heart’s overallness – because the heart has a natural overallness that encompasses all things. And that harboring, that when it surfaces throws you back into kind of a type of remembering of something traumatic. 

Because when something is kind of carried in one’s nature in a secondary channel in the background, it’s kind of a shadow dynamic or something. And when it doesn’t go away, it just looks for the situation, or the circumstances, or an inflection upon which it can come back out to occupy one’s psyche

When something like that happens, meaning when something like that is carried kind of on a secondary channel, as a shadow dynamic, it has a latency that is not necessarily readily obvious to one’s sight, or a way of being in the free-flow of the overall outer, yet it is still part of one’s, for lack of a better word, embedded nature or psyche. 

And when it’s like that, it falls into the world of the archetypes. And so things shape and change and alter around you to where this sort of thing ultimately comes out because it’s still kept on some level of being harbored on the breath, and, when it comes out, it comes out with a lot of energy. That’s an archetypal of force. 

And you are affected by archetypal of forces when you haven’t completely gone into a true empty space, when you are repressing something, or holding some quality of a kind of pain that hasn’t been let go of, or forgiven. Because the heart only knows one thing, and, what it knows is that it is intertwined and connected and is an all-pervasive essence. And that there are these bifurcations. 

And memories of these bifurcations have various degrees about them to which they carry a loudness. There are those that you’re doing and going through directly, in the outer, that come up on a day to day basis. And then there are those that are pent up, or harbored, kind of in a shadow dynamic, and they come out when the situation of the outer shifts in a particular way to where that vibration is more readily accommodated from its usual hidden capacity. 

So you’re looking at this, again, it’s still within the schematic of the dreaming and the recognition that how we are, in terms of functionality in an outer capacity, is, to a large degree, influenced robotically, or archetypally, or however you want to say it, by conditions that are harbored upon the in-breath or the out-breath. And that only when there’s a true letting go, or true self-forgiveness, and an adoption of the heart’s overall intertwined essence, only when you are able to be that, are you able to be, so to speak, real.

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When a person is described as being “good in a crisis,” it usually means they stay calm and are able to think and proceed without being overwhelmed. On the other hand, many of us will react to something by trying to match the speed of the event: if it is a fight, or an argument, people will speed up to handle what is happening – but that is often an unsuccessful strategy. We can apply this same concept to the way we handle anything: are we changing ourselves to suit the moment? A developed person would make the case that we should always be calm and collected on the inside – and that that is the best way to handle anything, even the most fast-paced situations. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I seem to remember that I had an earlier dream where I was dreaming about the movie we’d watched, The Imitation Game. And then it felt like I had a dream where I was trying to work with a situation with my dad. 

And, in between there somewhere, I had a dream that I remember where it felt like I was trying to catch up with this person that had, I guess the best way to explain it, it felt like I was up in some rocky mountain area, we’re actually climbing up rocks, and there was a man there that had like a red cap on. 

And I tried to climb up to where he was, but he had taken off. And it felt like you and I, and someone else, were trying to catch up with him. So, in the process of chasing him and trying to figure out where he was, we all got separated. And I saw him run out on the edge of a trail. And then I lost sight of him for a minute, and when I looked again, I wasn’t sure where he’d gone, which way he’d turned.

So I went to where I last saw him. And then pretty soon I found myself in this strange city. When I went in there I met some women that were living there, from the United States, because this was a foreign country. I knew she was from the US because of her accent. And she was living there, and she was starting to talk to me about, how would I feel if I were living there? 

And then I go and I find you. And I try to tell you where I last saw this person we had been seeking. But you don’t want to hear about that anymore, you’ve given up seeking him and you just want to live in this foreign country now. 

I don’t know if I can relate to living in that foreign country, because it’s like you’re not interested in anything that was before. You’re just kind of in this foreign country now. I think that’s when I woke up. 

John: So your dream is starting off looking at a type of Imitation Game, in which you have a pattern of trying to keep up with something, or to speed up. That’s what your dad is doing, too, right now. Normally, your dad holds a calm, and you, when your dad’s around, are inclined to have to speed up as if you’re trying to keep up or maintain something, kind of like a complex of some sort there that’s drawn out in terms of thinking that that’s how it’s to be done. 

And now you’re seeing your dad actually do this. And so you have that on one hand, pondering that as important. And then, as an offset to that, you are looking at something that can be in a whole other way, shifted from all of that. To be shifted from all of that, to be in a whole other way yet still, somehow or another, in life is to catch up with something that’s beyond this way of being; it’s in manifestation, so to speak, which is like a type of stillness. 

Now, you’re reporting to yourself that you can’t do that. And that you still need, or want, or seek to have to contend with things. The way you’re contending with things is a practice stillness where you can’t quite hear something. In other words, it’s like you were saying yesterday, when things get commotive it’s like it scrambles, and you can’t quite hear; you’re not able to sit in the stillness. And, therefore, you’re not able to quite hear things. And that’s what it means by the comment inside your dream of not being able to identify with things. Like I’m used as someone in your dream as not being able to identify with what is bouncing around or carrying on. 

What you’re doing is you’re jumbling all of this together. None of those are the answers to what you seek, but it’s your way of trying to let go or to sort out from it. In other words, on the one hand you have the speeding up as if you have to keep up with something. On the other hand, you’re recognizing that there’s something somewhere else, but you can’t maintain that something somewhere else. And the reason is because you don’t quite hold the proper stillness because when you try to be still, or calm, about it, it’s still churning inside – and so it still has its effect upon you. 

So the theme of the dreaming is triggered by the fact that you’re looking towards a quality of letting go-type stillness. And you’re looking for it in some sort of actionable way. So you’re taking the collage of all of that in your dream, you’re doing kind of a collage effect where you were, so to speak, doing a type of circling of the wagons, which means that you were touched or affected by something and are still trying to zone into what that is.

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