Losing One’s Self

John: My friends are picking strawberries. I am there but I am not helping. Suddenly there is a nudge inside me and I realize that the strawberries do look good. I was not sure before. So I decide to join in picking them. About the same time, my friends decide to go upstairs and register with the farm. It seems they have collected a huge amount of strawberries and if they go up and register they will avoid having to pay a sales tax.


Initially, the tax did not seem significant, but now they see that what they have harvested is something of real value. They want to throw off anything that inhibits that value – in this case, the sales tax. As they do that, I recall hearing a statement describing the climate of the area as one that moths can live in. I’m thinking that the weather is so variable that they wouldn’t be able to survive, so I begin to try to gauge the weather that might be there. The moths seem to be very prevalent, even though they do not live very long.



Then there is a shift. The effect of hearing about the moths, and the idea of the strawberries and all that, seems too much, and I decide to leave the area and the group I am with. Once I am away, a woman suddenly drives up in a pick-up truck. She sticks a gun out the window and motions for me to get in. She was apparently sent to bring me back.


What this seems to say is that the people I am with have made so much progress as a group, it is causing them to shift to a higher level. When you reach a new level, you enter a different climate, and we have reached one where moths can exist. Moths, of course, represent a kind of selfless dying. We’ve all seen the strong attraction moths have to a flame or a light, and they plunge toward the light in an all or nothing way. The symbolism of the moth is that it throws itself into the fire in order to be relieved of its limitations in a physical-level way. It is as though they are going into the light.

So it is an interesting combination. Everything seems to be speeding up – an abundance of beautiful strawberries appears, with more being given than one has realized. The  consequence of that leads to a type of losing oneself, like moths near a flame. In the dream, this seems not to be the kind of losing oneself that I have signed up for, or agreed to. So I take off.

And then a statement seems to come through me recognizing the fact that much effort has been made – even though as the dream began I was not helping – by the people I am with, and the woman coming after me. It is similar to your dream, where you are shown an aspect opening up, even though your reaction was to resist it.

For me, the shift to the higher level is shown, but indirectly because I am not completely in sync with the group I am with. And I still have reservations and feel I don’t belong. I am not as clearly decided as a moth. Yet when I run, something comes to bring me back.

Then I hear another voice inside. It says, “This has to do with having made so much effort.”  That was the dream. It was very forceful. I felt as if I’d been given a hard jerk. But the freedom of choice of a person cannot be violated; one can’t be forced to do something. So, next we have to have another dream that corrects that.