A Bigger Fish

If we are fishing, we might understand that the biggest fish are often in the deepest water. We might say the same about what lies in our deepest unconscious: the biggest psychologies, fears, and patterns dwell at these deeper levels. So, if we make a point in ourselves to only fish in the shallows, we will be limiting the catch that can be reeled in. These things may seem scary to us, but they are already a part of us, and not a stranger. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the next dream, I and my father are out in a large stream, or maybe it’s a small river, and we’re fishing. And I’m not fishing today because my pattern has been to fish in the shallows, to fish fairly close in, but I haven’t had much success. So this isn’t the right stream for that sort of thing. 

Yet my father seems to be successful, and has gotten into the habit of casting to an area where the river makes a turn, or the stream makes a turn there, it’s kind of like big rocks underneath and there’s a little channel that goes really deep right there, and goes still before the river then speeds up and flows again and gets fairly shallow in its nature. And that’s where the fish can hang out; big fish can hunker down where those large rocks are, underneath. 

So because this isn’t the type of place where I would pick to fish, meaning of this river, because it doesn’t have the vegetation along the shoreline that I choose when I like, because then the fish tends to find holes in the bank there and stuff like that. And you can get really close, you can sneak up on them and get really close to them. Because this doesn’t have this kind of thing, the fish can see you from a long way away. This is not my kind of fishing. 

In other words, the atmosphere isn’t there, nor the quietness, for the fish. Anyway, that’s how it works for me. But, as for my father, he gets a lot of bites by letting his bait drift into this rocky channel with a natural abyss in this particular spot, a ways away, you know, he stands way upstream. 

Suddenly, he catches a fish. He gets a lot of bites, but suddenly he catches a fish. As he reels it in, I notice it is a bit larger than normal; it’s a bigger fish than you would normally catch there. I tend to catch smaller fish. And when he does catch a fish, they do tend to be bigger. But this is even bigger than usual. In terms of the type of fish that it turns out to be, it’s not a huge fish like this, but it’s still a shark. But I don’t notice this right away, in that it has fins that it can use to strike the bottom to propel itself along. In other words, those sharp spikes. 

As he lands the fish that’s when I notice that it’s a shark. And as the shark comes off the hook, I’m acting like we need to kill it. My dad says the shark will die on his own. In other words, because he’s on the shore, not in the water. So the shark flips about and struggles on the shoreline and then tumbles back into the water. I’m stunned by this image. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The shark gets away.

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Night Travel

inner-depths-1Diving to our inner depths is a poetic way to think about our awakening, and here we see that very imagery in a dream, with the dreamer swimming into the unconscious realms, where great things, the size of whales, swim about freely. Such a journey could be terribly frightening, but not this day, where the beauty of the inner experience can be felt just by the description. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: What I remember of my dream was, I had to travel somewhere and, at night, I’d go and I’d catch a boat and it’s just a man on a boat, almost like one of those paddle boats you see nowadays where people stand on them, except it was about the size of a kayak and you could get in it.

Well, he goes across this bay that, in the past you used to be able to go to this bay and deep underwater you could swim with the whales and, apparently, it’s more of a whale sanctuary now. But because it’s nighttime, and his boat doesn’t have a motor, I grab hold of a rope and anchor it to the boat and I slip underwater to see if I can see the whales.

They’re so deep down, and it’s kind of blue water that’s lit from beneath when you go under, so I kind of hold onto the rope and swim in a circle and I can glimpse way down kind of the energy of the whales.

You don’t quite see them, it’s more like shadows down there, movement, but you still get the sense of them. And I think that’s really special because it’s nighttime. There’s moonlight. There’s this kind of blue light that comes from the water itself, down deep, and there’s a sense the whales are down there circling around.

And then I come up and we go on across the bay, and as I’m on my way to where I’m going and he is with me, the boatman starts talking to me about a children’s book he thinks that I should get that’s like an older book. It’s a tale that may even be somewhat out of print.

We have to keep moving because of somewhere I’m going, but as we move we stop at a university bookstore and there’s another bookstore they direct us to, and even though someone can’t find that book on their computer, she has a sense it might be at a certain place in the store. We feel like if we just kind of keep moving as we go by there, maybe it will pick up the book. That is all I really remember of that dream.
John: Well, the cadence of the dreaming had to do with going back and looking at the means upon which you access information. And the information that you access is information almost as if, maybe the short way of saying it, is if you’re catching up with a quality or thought of God upon which you are designed.

And so you’re describing kind of how it works for you, and so you’re required to hold a composure and go into the depths of yourself, and there you find something ancient. In other words, you don’t find it by going outwardly, or transcendently. You find it by going into the depths of yourself.

And then in that far flung zone is something ancient that is there, only that ancientness comes across in terms of you catching up with something at its origin; from the depths you catch up with something at its origin, like a children’s book, and that’s how you are inclined to access the information, or put yourself in a position upon which the information can come through.

It’s not like you actually access it. It’s that you know that it’s at that depth and that it’s ancient, and that you put yourself in a position so that it can open up to you. It doesn’t open up to you. It’s not like you go down there and you find it in that direction. It’s more like in going in that direction you’re letting go, or you’re settling back, or you’re released, or you’re relaxed.

In other words, this is the means upon which something is able to come through. It’s kind of like a portrayal of a subjective sight, or a subjective knowingness. There’s an objective knowingness too, but it works differently.

This is the subjective knowingness. It’s in that place, in the depths of that, as a type of calmness and soothing, that you’re able to find your balance, or to be in a position to know what is meant to be, or in a position so something can come out, so that you can recognize something.

If you don’t do that of course, you then just kind of stay… it’s a paradox on the idea that you’re going into the subconscious. In other words, you’re unconscious and subconscious during ordinary normal life, but you become more conscious and closer to the depths of yourself when you go down there and realize that it’s more alive there, in that direction of letting go, and being at a state of calm and repose, than it is on the surface of things.

It provided information in terms of how something seems to come through in terms of an accessibility. In your dream it shows that you do this by plunging, in some aspect, to a depth, a letting go depth, a receptive letting go depth, and then you get a sense of things from that zone that is ancient and old.

So one sits and wonders where does this come from, how does this arise, and it’s almost as if you have embedded in you that quality already, and you don’t figure it out by banging around, bumping into things, and struggling in the outer. You catch up with it by the quietness inside you.

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Trying to Communicate

Todd Allen

We have spoken before about water images and fish images as being representative of the unconscious. Sometimes it can be a small body of water, or an ocean, or a small fish or a big fish. Here we see a human-sized fish that’s following our dreamer around and trying to communicate with her. And, as you might expect, that makes her a little uncomfortable. Sometimes dreams try to communicate subtly through their symbolism, and sometimes the symbolism jumps out of the water as a huge fish and flat-out says it’s trying to communicate.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Okay, in the second dream, I’m living with a group of people and at one point I leave the house and I discover there’s been a huge snowstorm. And I’m trying to make it down the hill and back in a snowstorm.

At one point it feels like I even really slide and come right to an edge where I could go over, but I seem to stop, and I’m studying out how to go down and around. Then it feels like I’ve come back and I’ve gotten my sister and we’ve left, but when we want to make our way back what’s happened is we’re kind of almost like flowing uphill, and everything around us is in upheaval.

Whole buildings have just kind of either fallen, or gone up in the air and turned over, or whatever’s going on, and what used to be the road that we took downhill it’s become all like a muddy river almost, and we’re trying to make our way kind of against the current and getting back.

And there’s even things that look like alligators on the side and underwater, or you think like they can be after you, but they don’t seem to bother us. So we make it back towards where we’re going, and I’m even going somewhere towards work, and someone notices these big fish in the water to the side. And there very unusual fish with kind of tentacles a little bit like catfish, and someone had once said there were no big fish in that water, and I’m thinking, well, you know, these look as big as a person.

But then one comes out on land and I see that there’s something actually like they’re actually manmade on some level, or alien.  There’s kind of a plate near the back of their head that’s almost like you feel like they’ve been manmade or manufactured in some way, but they’re also intelligent. It’s like they try to communicate with us, and so we hurry off to work. And I start hiding from the boss that I even see or knew anything about the fish, but I break something so he knows I was in the room overhearing a conversation he was having about them, I think, but I try to act like it was the cleaning lady that dropped something on the floor and not myself and my sister or whoever I’m with.

And then to make our way back but, when I leave work to make my way back now, these alien fish-like people, I guess is what they are, are trying to communicate with me all the time and following me around or showing up where I am, and it’s like I’m a little freaked out by it. I don’t know quite what to make about it, that they’re doing this, because I don’t know what they are or what they’re about yet.

John: You’re using an image to try to portray how the breath works, and in the out-breath you come down and, when you hit the interval to where the out-breath turns to the in-breath it’s like being on the edge of a cliff in that you’re at the furthest point, so to speak, from the crown, and it seems that in this particular zone where you don’t have a lot going on for yourself in the outer, because you’re at this edge, nor do you have the inner on the return working, that you could’ve cracked up. You could’ve gone into a state of despair; but you didn’t. You didn’t go over the edge.

And so then you made the return back, and you’re making the return back, something comes out or opens up for you, and it’s these fish, and these fish have a kind of consciousness. In other words, who would guess that in the like in-breath coming back, going back to where you belong to a home, going back, that there would be such amazing consciousness.

And each time come to realize more and more of an intertwined linkage, or awareness, of what was opening up inside at some depth inside of yourself that is represented by these fish that are attempting to get your attention.

So you’re portraying the path. In other words, the first time you had to be rescued by kind of a grace because you were really under blizzard conditions, and you couldn’t see your way, and it was only fortuitous that something kind of worked out. And then the next time you started to recognize all of the plight of things that were there. And the third time you started to realize that there’s an awareness that is trying to get your attention.

What you’re basically describing is the awakening of the soul inside of yourself, in other words, the overallness of that. You’re portraying it just as if you’re discovering, as if you’re going through the various levels from beginning to end, like a one, two, three, three breaths, with the third breath getting to the point that you have a sense that what no one believed was possible is possible. It’s big, it’s there, it looks a little scary, but it’s trying to get your attention.

The fourth would be more of an aspect of completion then, because you would be allowing and accepting yourself to be carried away in that condition. And if you were to allow yourself to be caught up and carried away in that condition, what you would find would happen is that everything that you would be doing would all have to be oriented towards this quality of illumination – which means that you would be outside of the physical, outside of the emotion of things that tries to sort something out with the heart. You would be taking everything that is happening to you into this other zone, into this part of higher self. In other words, you’d be awakening to that realization that that’s what you really are all about.

Instead of quite coming to that full recognition, you came up to the point where you were aware that the consciousness is huge and that it was trying to get your attention, and that it was a little unnerving, and shocking, to see that it was like that. You got up to that particular point.

The next step after that would be to accept and be able to take and go into that. The problem that exists when you come up to this particular point where you now have to accept and go into that, is that as long as you’re still kind of in awe of it, or noticing that something like that kind of exists on the other side, you’re still in a position that is relatable to the lower-self elements of things where delirium exists, and where you can delude yourself.

But when you get to the point where something like that otherness takes over, so that everything about you is in conjunction with the soul of the whole, then whatever it is that happens in the physical, or in the outer, however it is that you are affected then, you have to take that affect and flip it as if, in order to see what it really is about in terms of something on the soul level.

Now when you start to function like that, you’re not going to make a lot of sense to a lot of people because people are still caught in their mind and their senses, and they’re going to have to perceive things in terms of how those things correlate or relate to them. And you’re not going to be effective like you might have been before when you are caught in belief systems. You’re not going to be effective at upholding the various stories, the storybook nature that people have, and that you have.

It gets to the point where even the physical ailments of yourself are not like physical ailments anymore, they also somehow or another have a meaningfulness in terms of the world soul. In other words, whenever you’re going through something that is affecting you physically, where most people would be dwelling upon their aches and pains, you would be inclined to look at that in terms of what is this about on the other side. How do I take and turn this into the big picture?

It’s a whole different frame of reference that almost looks crazy to a person who’s caught in the physical, because it’s almost like a type of denial from the perspective of something that’s caught in the physical, and it even can look like a denial to yourself because you are in the physical and you’re going to have these aches and pains, but these aches and pains and mannerisms to which you’re perturbed and upset, you kind of come to recognize that they point to something else and that something else that they point to is outside of a personal mannerism that you have been accustomed to seeing yourself under. They point to something in which you subtract yourself out and you start to see this being about the whole, or the soul, about everything that exists, and everything kind of goes into that as a quality of what’s really going on.

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