A Sense of Guidance

How would we describe the house of us, of our interior life? Is it a glorious manor with elegant ballrooms, or is it a cramped warren of small rooms and creaking stairways? Of course, the truth is that we all have all of these interior spaces, depending on the subject and the psychology. Yet just as we want to clean out the attic, or basement, or garage in the outer world, we want to do the same for our inner life, so that we know where everything is kept and can access what we have when needed. This is part of our development journey. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So, in the next dream, I seem to be a young man. And I’ve gone to visit this young woman who’s having a party, and her apartment is right below her parents who are overly controlling and always monitoring, or admonishing, her for anything she does. 

And in this apartment that’s below her parent’s house, it feels like I’m on a sofa bed in the front part of the apartment. And it’s a very kind of Danish- or Swedish-looking apartment in terms of the furniture, it’s very kind of light, clean-cut furniture that serves dual purposes or something, very neat and compact. But I’m trying to make love with her – because I’m a man in this one, or a young man – on the front sofa kind of covered up by a duvet of some kind. 

She keeps wanting to pull back at some point, and I keep kind of pushing it. But I recognize that part of the pulling back is that her parents are always monitoring what she does in terms of coming in, and even looking at her linens and everything else, really snoopy, and always making comments. 

It feels like I kind of push her to complete making love, but then the scene fast-forwards in time and I’m out of my body observing what’s going on. And I go out of the basement apartment and I look at the house above where her parents live. And I see that it’s kind of tricolored, it’s turquoise and white, but it’s shuttered in the sense that you can’t see in the windows and it looks very dead in a way. 

And then I look at her unit and I see how compact it is, it’s like there’s kind of a back bedroom where she is right now. And she has her brother and sister up playing on the bed, I even have a sense that there’s a dog around, too. And then, on the side, a friend of hers sleeping in something that made up into a bed. And I’m actually sleeping on that front bed where I’ve been with her before, which is just a kind of narrow little bed that also serves as a seating area. And then, of course, there’s me who’s out of the body observing all this

And there’s something that’s so attractive about all these compact uses of how she decorates her place, I’m wondering if there’s even an identical place nearby that I might be interested in. But I notice the problem with how her parents come and even go through her trash to monitor what she’s doing that makes it difficult for her to have any kind of what you’d call a free-flow in life.

John: So what’s unusual about this dream is that when you bring in and merge back in the greater spaciality, that left you sensationally off, that there was a quality within that, as clumsy and as awkward as it was, to where you could almost sense that there was nothing that you could pull together, it was like maybe being just blasted to pieces, somehow, that there was a roundabout sensibility echo, anyway, whether it was sensible or not, worked as a needling, so to speak.

In other words, you can’t totally move away from that spaciousness, or the remembrance of that, that greater composite that isn’t able to hold something together. So you never lose that. And so in the dream, then, that’s like the overview that makes no sense. And so to make something make sense, you go back into things where you have the way delving in to the depths of things. 

And, in the depths of things, you confront the mannerisms of yourself that have a certain kind of need to try to do this, or to do that. And, ordinarily, if you didn’t have the effect of the bleed-through of the spaciality of the first dream, you wouldn’t have the sense of a kind of guidance. 

And that sense of guidance, even though you take it as a type of policing or needling of your nature is reflected in this dream, is brought forth in this dream, as having shifted and evolved now to a way of grasping something that is able to know something more, or just sense something more, that is upholding something more. So that how you are finding yourself in your restrictive nature that has its mannerisms and nuances, you’re finding that you can’t necessarily make anything overly magnified out of that because there is this sense of something else. 

And, of course, your sense of this something else is not necessarily a positive one, because the way that you have come down into the outer, you’d like to try to see if you couldn’t blow that more widely open. In other words, taking the sensation on the inner, that you couldn’t make really as wide open as you needed to – and it left you in a delirium. 

Now that you have found something that compacts, that you can sink your teeth in so to speak, you would like to try to take that spaciousness, that direction, that focus into something condensed – you would like to try to take that into a greater freedom. 

It doesn’t work that way. That’s a reflection, yet, of something that has to run its course, to be lived, to be experienced, that you have to go through. You can’t take and get stuporish, as stuporish as maybe you could have before you had the experience of a greater overallness, you can’t take and get as stuporish about it because you’ve had the sense of the spaciousness.

But the way you’re able to work with the spaciousness is not necessarily hearing it as good guidance yet, instead it is kind of something that has you in a certain kind of controlled, or contained, environment. And the concept, or ideal, it’s like a concept and it’s like an ideal, especially when it’s just stated, that you can kind of be in a whole other place, and yet, at the same time, be a soldier in this world – doesn’t quite necessarily make sense yet. 

Instead, what you’re doing is you’re seeing the component, you’re looking at the misalignment, so to speak, component parts that haven’t yet quite come together as a wholeness, whereby it might be possible. I mean, you don’t know if it’s possible. There’s nothing there that evidences that this is possible. So it’s a “might” yet, but it’s kind of like your psyche’s way of responding to the two sides, the two halves.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A Sense of Guidance

An Odd Sensation

The idea of bringing everything together, inside, faces the same problem as it might on the outside: what if it doesn’t fit, or if it doesn’t feel right? If we are a oneness, how could this be? Well, this is where the work of letting go of biases and defense mechanisms can be applied, because these additions cause friction to the process, and, to be in a flow requires that we be as frictionless as possible. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I did that thing again where I’m doing something that feels very spread spectrum. like it seems to be covering a lot of distance. And it’s some kind of work with energy. But I wake up and you’re not in the bed, and then I lose the dream. And then I have a later dream.

John: So, what that is it’s just denoting that you’re on the in-breath aspect of yourself, which is trying to come to grips with how to see yourself in a spaciousness. 

Usually, a person doesn’t use the in-breath, or note that the in-breath is like that, because it’s too expansive or something. And so, in order to make their world cope for them, they have to look at themselves, or see themselves, as something that comes down, that has an energetic, that compacts, has an orientation in other words, an unfoldment in the out-breath. 

But to be in the in-breath, when you don’t have things sorted out, and where you can’t quite pull a cognition together, that’s an unusual state. And it’s an unusual state that I’ve found leaves one sensationally; on a sensation function, kind of in a sensation delirium. It’s a sensation delirium because you can’t find your modality, or your place, or your scope, in terms of what it is that you’re meant to grasp, or own, in that spaciality. 

And so you’re constantly trying to, well, push to an extreme that causes some people to go a little insane. And it’s unpredictable. And it doesn’t accept; that aspect has a trait about it, where it just doesn’t accept hardly anything that is presented to it. 

Because in this spaciality, the positive side of it, is that it always has a sense that something isn’t quite right because where it deludes itself is when it gets into a compactness where it could take and think that it is accentuating something important. But when it’s trying to scope out a greater spaciality, it has a dilemma. And so that’s a very odd sensation to have to be in. But it’s part of the in-breath.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: An Odd Sensation

What Unfolds

There are many ways to think about being in a flow. Sometimes it means we don’t intrude upon, or impose our energetic print on, something – while it is unfolding. In other words, we don’t determine the unfolding for something else. Yet, other times, we can be in the flow by doing what is energetically urged upon us, or made possible, in a given moment. The skill is in knowing how to read the energies. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: This is a very bizarre sleep dream, but it does make sense. In the dream, I’m in a room and have work to do with a person who is intense in his nature, intense with a certain focus, because he’s got an agenda to get it done; that kind of intensity. And thus, he’s pulling that out of me. 

At this time, I don’t realize there are three other beds in there, actually there are four beds, but there are three others, and three of those beds, the people that are there are under the covers, you don’t even know that they’re there. At this time, I don’t even know that they’re there, all I notice is the guy in the fourth bed is sitting up and he is trying to direct the energy however he wants to direct it, and doesn’t like the intensity by which whatever’s going on, so he turns the TV on. 

Now, this is like a college room or something. And he’s a new guy. And then there are three others that are also new, but brand, brand new. And he’s new. And we’re the old timers. So because he doesn’t like what we’re doing, he turns on the TV. And I know from a depth inside that what Robert and I are doing needs to unfold and that this is the time for that to happen. 

So I hold the focus. And in holding the focus, I go over and turn the TV off. I’m not sure if this is going to start a fight, or a bigger problem, or not. What this does is it sets in motion something in which these other three get up. I didn’t even realize that they were there. In my case, I don’t foresee a problem, or I’m not going to allow myself to see it as a problem, what I did, because I trust in the flow, and am maintaining this flow, to follow it to wherever it goes – because it’s what’s in the atmosphere. And the other, that equivocated, is a misalignment. That other that equivocated is basically a very powerful force. 

Suddenly, to my surprise, those, like I say, in the other beds, who have come to this campus, and we’re really groggy and went to sleep, one of them is a woman. And for some reason I greet her with a hug, and her chin hits my shoulder and lipstick gets on my shirt. She suggests several ways to get it out, and I realize she has to do it her way. 

So I say to her, so I guess what you’re trying to tell me is I should just take off the shirt, give it to you, and see what happens. In other words, she does whatever she does to get the lipstick out. In other words, this is an approach that’s working with the energetics in all regards, which I have to go along with because they’re important to the flow of life. 

And the meaning is, and we should put it together, that to begin with what jars or sets in motion something is like a mannerism. And the mannerism can have a kind of alpha quality to it, like my reaction to things is a bit alpha. But the truer influence is deep within myself. And deep within myself is kind of an inner history to all that exists. 

To recognize and accept the inner focus needing to come out, while at the same time accommodating others in life, does not get in the way of what is intended. You step back and watch to see what is intended. In other words, you don’t go out there and try to impose something and fight something. And what unfolds is just there to be beheld. Such watching is a letting go so that what is meant to unfold finds the flow – which is what you pointed out, it finds a flow and runs its course.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: What Unfolds