Pulling the Plug

lathe4Following on her dreams from earlier in the night (see In the Bleachers), Jeane finds herself still struggling with being a part of what is going on, or better connected to the flow. In fact, between being caught in a swirl of people who nearly step on her, to missing her connections, things are actually going from bad to worse. Sometimes that’s the nature of our dreams: they are trying to give us guidance, but we’re not always in the right mindset to receive it, and/or benefit from it. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So the next dream is kind of a dream that was interfaced with the fact I was coughing a lot. There’s something about when the wind blows down here, with a lot of dust, it really activates my sinus. So anyway that was going on in the outer while I was trying to sleep, and then I have this dream.

In the dream it seems again like there’s a lot of movement with my going from one place to the other, and struggling with it, and trying to breathe right. But in this process I remember one of the places I go I sit down at a table with you and the teacher comes and sits down and I go to talk with him but he has this bad cold.

It’s like his nose is runny, so I feel like I have to excuse myself for a minute. And I go to a party where there’s a bunch of other Sufis and, one of them, it’s almost like when I sit down on the floor I have to avoid being stepped on because as people come in and fill the room that one group of Sufis actually they almost move on stilts, and they’re doing some kind of movement, or motion, or dance.

And so it’s like they’ll rise up and then they’ll come down a bit. It’s a huge guy that’s on stilts above me, but he never really steps on me, so I’m okay. And I seem to know other people in the room, or they know me, because some of them gather around me and they almost act like I pulled the group together when I felt like I was going to somebody else’s house in a way.

But after a certain portion of this kind of group movement together, then I go back to the table that you and the teacher have left, and I don’t know where you’ve gone, because now it feels like I feel better, so I’m not sure where to find you. That’s all I really remember. It was kind of broken up by the fact that I was coughing.

John: It’s an image that’s designed to cause you to recognize that you don’t need to lean on anything. You don’t have to have anything there to try to create a pseudo semblance.

What you’re doing is you’re creating images outside of the masculine framework, yet you’re trying to see yourself bounded by the masculine framework. But the images that you’re creating are free of the masculine framework.

In other words, it’s kind of like when you go about, and just are free-flowing, everything about you is taken into account – yet you don’t know why. You find yourself able to free yourself up of impediments because you’ve let go of them, and then when you go back to try to make sense out of the whole thing, it’s all gone.

So this is a type of natural unconsciousness and an emptiness. And yet how do you describe that? How do you make sense out of that? Do you have to bring in the masculine in order to tell stories about it? In other words, it’s a heightened kind of unconsciousness, but it’s also the dullest of all, too, simultaneously.

It has like a one, two, three to it in which one is the condition of just being in one side of an equation. In other words, you’re in a stadium with nothing going on. In other words, it would be like a person was totally unconscious in creation, that hasn’t the foggiest idea that there’s more to life than just what reflects in creation.

And then you come to recognize that there is something more, but you can’t make any sense out of it. That slight something more, because you can’t make any sense out of it, you just drop it.

In other words, the masculine would take and look at the sparks that are created where the inner touches the outer and whatnot, and have a story to tell in terms of a seeing, and hearing, and a flow and whatnot, but, in your particular case, that’s like a type of haunting of you. And so you then proceed to kind of pull the plug on all of that, and you tend to go into an emptiness.

And so you’re not telling a story, you’re just in kind of an overall condition – almost at the inception of something before something starts. In other words, if you were to describe the whole process of creation as being something like, well, we have to have the big bang, and then we have to have things break into sound, and then there’s light, and then there’s life, and then there’s all of that, and then there’s the expansion and the contraction.

You’ve kind of pulled it back into a dormancy that leaves… well, it has the sense of a flatness to it because we need to have something engage our synapses, but you don’t have anything engaging your synapses.

Doesn’t that leave you kind of miserable?

Jeane: Yes.

John: Because we have to have that identification, right?

Jeane: Yes.

John: It’s kind of like, for comfortability purposes, it’s nice to know that one’s intertwined and part of everything, but you don’t quite have that memo there.

Jeane: No, I don’t.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Pulling the Plug

True to the Course

thepathAs we continue, it becomes more and more apparent that the safest place to be is in the flow with the energy. Whenever we let our personal indulgences dictate our actions, we make ourselves vulnerable to self-created suffering. The only safe place is on the path. (For the earlier installments, see Part I, Part II, Part III , and Part IV.) (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Right now my whole take on it is that there are all kinds of things that are a little bit askew. Just like as we were talking, some people are looking better, some people are looking worse, and it’s almost like those who are trying real hard, in maybe a spiritual capacity, a lot of them are apt to be drawing the conclusion that the motif in which they’ve been projecting, and aiming themselves, is causing them to suffer more.

They don’t realize that they’ve shifted; they’ve gone into it in a little bit of a spiritual illusion – they didn’t mean to – and they miss the door.

I mean I’m certainly seeing that. There was a woman that tried to commit suicide. What I saw about her is that somehow, prematurely, she was waking up to a proximity closeness between this side, and the other side, I guess is the way of saying it.

She’s very indulged in what has to happen in her outer, and she feels the pressure of all of that, yet at the same time what helps make that outer louder to her in a way, in a painful way that is, she has this inner quickening going on, too, but she’s not able to somehow or another pick up enough of the responsibility of an Adab to the inner, so that she doesn’t keep stabbing herself with her outer predicament.

And so as a consequence her outer predicament has gotten to the point where they overwhelmed her. In other words, our teacher has indicated that this is a path where you don’t come back, but there’s an exception. You commit suicide, you come straight back.

It’s no different than any other kind of energetic, where you take and you do something. Let’s say you’re in a bad marriage or something, and you take and you get all blameworthy, change the situation that you’re in, and then you just gloat for a while thinking you’ve found something so much better – you should have done this sooner – only to realize that over a course of time you come back to facing that same dilemma in that relationship too. It goes around and around like that.

You’re in life to live something out, and it becomes too overwhelming to you, and you’re not quite true to the course, you’re not quite staying the course, and then you take and you do something to stop the process or veil the process, and you get into a repetitious pattern, you get haunted by that repetitious pattern, and if you were to do something really outrageous as if like, I’ve had enough, and commit suicide, that doesn’t rewrite the Book of Life.

It just causes you to have to come back and contend with it again, and probably go through that perhaps even worse then, because you’re going to come up to the point where you’re going to feel like committing suicide again. It has to live itself out until you let go of it.

In other words, till you get into a proper vibrational relationship, that is you, in terms of how it can be in the Whole, and can do that without any image problems, which is ego getting in the way.

What would I have said to that person if they would have stuck around, or if I would have had a chance to talk to them? Would I have been like a lot of the people, where you would have hugged them, and hope you’re doing better, and glad to see you? That’s not my nature.

I would have been inclined to do what is kind of a type of tough love. Now does that mean that I have an attitude, that I really don’t like them, or something? No. It means that if I smooth them a little bit, that isn’t helping them at all. Their botched attempt is going to come up again.

They reach that crescendo in order to break through something, and just putting the lid and the cap down on things is not going to get that to work for them. They have that particular acuity because that’s their karma, or their nature, to have to come to that kind of acuity. And then they don’t go around and have everybody tell them that it’s A-okay again, and then telling themselves that it’s A-okay because deep down inside they cannot hear it that way anymore.

They are, so to speak, for better or worse, afflicted by the proximity of this inner and outer, and they have to come to grips with it. I’ll never forget this person who, years ago when I was first new on the path, must have told the teacher this dream and the teacher said, “Bring it up in the group.”

And the teacher turns to this person and had him tell the dream. And then they barely had told the dream, and in the dream basically what this person was saying was that they were afraid to go to sleep at night because they would be hit by this, and hit by that, and it was like being busted into a million pieces, and they didn’t know how to put it together.

The teacher then basically tailored his talk around that, starting with the rather blunt attitude – it sounds like an attitude, but it’s not, it’s really the epitome of conscious tenderness – by basically saying, “That’s going to happen to every one of you.” You know, “I don’t know why half of you are here, because you’re all going to have to go through this at some point in time or another.”

And then he said, “You know, you can leave, because if you stay, you’re going to have to go through this at some point in time.” What kind of thing was that? Was that compassionate? Yes, but that sounds almost brutal.

He didn’t go oh, I’m so sorry dear that it’s like that for you, oh that’s too bad. He didn’t do that at all. He just jumped right over the top of it, and says and this is going to happen to all of you. And technically you’ve [Ann] already had a bit of that happen to you, when let’s say for example during the daytime you’ve gone along and you just racked your brain at trying to figure something out that was bugging you.

And you went around and around and around and around and around, and so when you went to bed you were out of whack too because you still haven’t solved it. And then when you fall asleep, part of your process is still trying to work on it. You can have horrible, horrible sleep.

Do you remember those?

Ann: Yes, oh gosh yes.

John: We don’t have that much anymore because, we’re lucky but I remember having stuff like that.

Ann: Oh my gosh yes. Talk about brutal almost.

John: That is brutal torture. It’s like being haunted.

Ann: Yes because then you are like aaah – you get up and you’re exhausted.

John: Yes. You are exhausted. You didn’t get your full night’s rest, and it’s this sort of thing that some people get caught up in the swim of and it will break you down. You can have a breakdown as a consequence of this.

You never get a reprieve. Something doesn’t come together. The soul doesn’t catch up with something. Your body doesn’t get properly rested, and oh my gosh on an energetic level you go backwards. And what do you look like? You look like hell.

And I’m seeing more and more people that are looking like hell.

Ann: Boy that is so true, isn’t it. Wow.


To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: True to the Course

It’s All Vibrational

groundingIn this continuing discussion of the new energy that has arrived on the planet, one aspect of being in tune with it – rather than resisting it – is that it is occurring on a vibrational level in all of us. There’s an element of trust required to let it in our lives, because if we put our personal view on it, and expect to keep some idea of “control,” it will turn up in us as pain and suffering – in both subtle and not so subtle ways. (For the earlier installments, see Part I, Part II, and Part III.) (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: You can take it all into account. You’re meant to be able to take it all into account. You’re meant to be able to live throughout the Whole.

Isn’t this interesting? This is the new energy.

Ann: Just incredible. Wow. It’s just incredible. Oh boy.

John: And who can you explain this to? How can anybody get it? I don’t know how you can logically explain it, because the way that one tries to understand things has to do with the conditions in the outer as the example.

And if you reduce it to that kind of way of talking, the perspective of that way, that’s like the person who is suffering now. They are suffering because they are following this one particular way, this very linear way of putting the pieces together.

And this component they’re trying to put into that way and it won’t fit in there anymore, and what they’re trying to put it in has been thrown in the garbage. That process which was wonderful has been thrown in the garbage.

You have to step out of those shoes. That will be very, very interesting because how do you use language to try to get that person to step out of their shoes?

Also, the thing about it is you have to… this is a trait that the feminine has to watch more so than the masculine. The masculine has a certain ruthlessness about its nature that probably helps it a little better in this regard. But in the feminine nature, let’s say you’re looking at somebody and they’re struggling. You’re trying to ameliorate it. You’re almost trying to empathize with it. You’re trying to kind of go at it in their way for them a bit. You’re kind of like walking down the road with them in this way.

And instead of being able to just come right straight down and let the chips fall where the chips fall, and trust, and trust that something will be able to sort itself out, maybe not then, but later.

And when you’ve done something like this, and you are true to yourself in doing something like this, to begin with you kind of suffer, but to the degree that you have a capacity inside of you to hold the space open, something then heals, and it sets in motion a transitioning etherically, is the only way I know how to say it, whereby the other person starts to catch up, they start to get it.

Like I had a good friend call me up and I think he was drunk at the time. It just bothered him and bothered him and he was tearing himself up and, of course, because this new energy has hit, a part of me doesn’t know how to be poker faced, I guess, and I told him he looked like hell.

Then he’s working on this particular spot that we own together, trying to fix it up. And I say, “Geez it has ruined it, it’s ruined it” you know, just like it has really been bruised and hurt…  And all of this became, and was taken in by him, as a reflection upon himself, in too much of a personal way. And as I’m talking with him, it’s like he’s telling me how he has been hurt, and how I hurt him. He’s a wonderful, wonderful guy.

Normally I sit down and meditate at 10 o’clock, and he calls at 10 o’clock, and I get off the phone an hour and a half later because in the talking to him I finally soothe the situation, or something soothed the situation, and he went right to sleep.

I could hear him snoring there or breathing, asleep, and so it was almost like he went into a Dhyana.

First of all that which was carrying away on him, kind of got taken into account or evened out so it wasn’t tearing him up anymore like it had been, causing him to go berserk. And then he went into a soothing state where the qualities of how you are, and who you are, come through and take over.

And I look at this and I realize that this is what a teacher does to a student. They’re able to come to them at night in this vibrational way. It’s almost as if you can have a dream: did they give you the dream? Or did they just set in motion something that quickened a particular vibrationalism that is part of who you are, they being able to, on a vibrational level, note the soul. And that, in and of itself, sets in motion reflective mirroring that causes you to go.

Is that how the teacher works? It appears to be so. It appears to be so. All vibrational. And a teacher that functions like that cannot be dealing with the little shit, you know. They can’t be sitting there going around and around and around and around. You know it just, it drags them down.

You have to let go to a certain degree, in order to catch the hint and the subtle inflection. And that hint and that subtle inflection just keeps going and taking you somewhere. It’s all vibrational. Until eventually, you don’t count.

Yet there is a quality about you that may have been an ego overwhelm, at some point in time, in which it was horrible. You know, it was a density that stunk up the place. But ultimately that quality and that trait, once honed to where it gets with the Whole, and you flow with the Whole instead of guiding that quality for some other kind of edification, once you get so that you do that, then how you are you come to know, is absolutely just fine. That is the bit of God or something, that you are.

So how is it possible to annihilate anything? In other words, if you see some part of you, yes that part of you could be holding you back, putting you in moods and stuff like that, and yes, maybe you have to go into and face that to some degree, but ultimately you don’t go anywhere.

How you are, is how you are, and you just have to know how to live and be all it is that you are.

I even had this dream the other day… first there was an earlier dream and then the answer that I was told is that the reshaping in the outer has to do with me. I go wow, wow. I don’t know what that means, but then that sets in motion the next dream that drills down on what me is.

And so in this dream, my brother and I are living on a mountainside, on a place that has a little cabin and it sits up and has a tremendous view and you look out over a steep drop off nearby and you’re completely isolated.

We’re away from all kinds of civilization. Our car is broken down so we can’t connect to them even if we wanted to. It’s a small cabin and the belongings we have make it a little awkward because it kind of clutters the place up.

Well, one day I wake up in the morning and I say to my brother, I say, “I think it’s leaning. I think this house is no longer on the level anymore.” I test it by putting a marble down on the floor or anything to see if it will roll. Instead Mark says, “Well, what do you expect? You’re way up in the air. You’re really high like this. It is going to be a little like that.”

And so that mood and that attitude is such that I can’t accept that. I mean there’s an attitude behind that. I have to figure out what’s going on, so I go out the door and then I walk around to the front, and to my shock and amazement the slope is just sloughed off, and here is the house sitting there and it’s right on the very brink where everything is sloughed away. And so if any more were to slough off, the house would go over the edge. And of course our car that was broken down anyway, you know it’s gone – it’s gone over the edge.

And so I go back inside and I ask Mark I say, “Gosh, what are we going to do?” Again it’s like “What do you expect. I mean this is kind of like the way it is.” And so I say to Mark, “Umm, we need to call somebody. Who should we call?” Mark says, “Me,” meaning not him but me – call myself.

That’s what fixes it. Yeah, that’s how it works in the outer. We are all of that. Every little thing that happened.

And our problem is, we hear our own loudness too much, and then eventually when we get outside of that loudness and we allow that quality to just be in relationship to how everything is in the Whole, we just soar because we fit in hand and glove just like we’re meant to fit in.

But when we pull it back and we go around in some sort of quasi recognized peculiarity of a me, myself, and I, we suffer to beat the band. We are in a state of bewilderment as to why we are having our moods and our attitudes and our hurt heart, and why somebody is doing this to us and that to us, and the world is acting up and mistreating us…

And we’re tripping and falling this way and that way and it makes no sense why this should be happening, this is just not right, it’s not fair, and then we realize oh, okay we get a little stabler in our demeanor so we walk a little straighter again, but still it’s just a question of degree, I guess, because then when we hit a mood then all hell breaks out again and we go around and around like that.

And we have to realize that walking a little better, or the degree to which everything is falling completely apart, are still one in the same. Both of those are still working with some sort of identification in terms of us, instead of us just being there for the outer.

This is something in terms of the new energy.


To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: It’s All Vibrational