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Posts Tagged ‘a sense of knowing’

John: So, as a continuation of this conversation from yesterday (see The Energy to Change), I had this sense inside that I needed to shift from where I was and to follow another vibration. Basically I sensed that I needed to follow the shift in energy, rather than to resist it. And if we are not quiet enough to listen to those intuitive feelings that we all have, we end up disconnecting from the inner guidance that is always available to us, and through us.

I mean, this whole shift from the Northwest to Las Vegas came out of the blue. It would have been so easy to dismiss it, based solely on the common perception of what Las Vegas represents – you know, Sin City. Why would we choose to pursue a spiritual journey in the Sodom and Gomorrah of our time?

Yesterday we drove around, getting lost and looking at places to live, and the one thing that stands out is the view, the perspective, from that one apartment that overlooks The Strip. I mean, do I really need to see a view of the lights at night? I know that’s something interesting that I can take in just by looking within. I know that can automatically happen.

So, it caused me to wonder what there is about being able to just peer at this view of The Strip that is so fascinating. It’s not fascinating in the sense of sitting and pondering it as an incredible view. Instead, somehow or other I’m going to be touched by all those lights – the aliveness of them. It’s the flickering aliveness of those lights that has an effect. 

Now, I’m not even limiting this feeling to those specific lights, either. Yet somehow they create a trigger to other memories. I can still see it, having stood in that unit and looked out at the view. Normally I can’t see things.

Normally I don’t know what street I’m on, or whether I’m heading north, south, east, or west. I’m usually all twisted around. But I can still see that view. Not in specific detail, but I can see it vibrationally. I can feel the energy of it. And it will give a very different sensation depending on whether it’s nighttime or in the day.

Then it can take on a whole different dynamic. There’s a quickening of that feeling. When we joke around about whether other people could enjoy this city or this view, I’m not sure they’d know how. They might see it as a violation of the vibrational state we are seeking. I don’t know for sure, but when I contemplate the reaction of others I get the sense that it might create a stigma.

The other thing that causes me to wonder – and it seems very, very strange – is the idea of trying to keep the presence of the former owner alive there somehow. What is there about her presence? What has she done there that has set an energetic tone that is still there, and that I’m worried might leave or disappear?

I really can’t get clear on that yet, but that energy is important to the place. Will she drop it? It was so odd when we were there and the toilet was definitely running. When I walked into the bathroom, I jiggled it, and it was still running. And when we were on the verge of leaving I decided to point it out to her.

As we walked to the back I heard it go “kerthunk” and then it stopped running. As we walked up I said, “Well, it was running a minute ago,” and she said, “Yes, I heard it running. It must know I’m back.”

That was amazing. That was a very unusual statement. When you think about that you almost think that she maintains a certain kind of magic in her nature, and that that, somehow or another, is in the place too.

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Here we offer the analysis to the dream The Envelopes, Please.

John: The first thing I noticed when I woke up was my physical feeling – it felt like I had been punched in the nose, to the point where it seemed I could taste blood. This was a weird sensation that I’ve never had before.

I also had the sense that in the dream, when I was opening the envelopes, I was at a deep, deep level inside. I felt okay in what I was doing at that point because I had a sense of knowing what was required. I mean, I was playing around with gauging the sizes of these envelopes, and filling in the confirmations, but it wasn’t until I started lowering the vibration – basically into the physical level – that I began to feel guilt about what I doing.

Then I began to imagine other people witnessing what I was doing and I felt even worse. At that point I had the feeling that I was cowering, because, obviously, what gives me the right to properly take into account everything in terms of the envelopes and the required confirmations – for other people?

So how can I explain that sense of knowing, of wholeness, that I had in the beginning, to those living in a world of separation, i.e., the other workers and the people at the library? I mean, as I woke up I had no idea what I was going to say to the people who stopped me. I had given the contents of these envelopes, with all different names on them, at the entrance to a place where you can only bring in what belongs to you.

So, this dream has a very interesting meaning to it, in that it shows that I need to be absolutely sure that everything I do has no presumption to it in any way. In other words, for me to not be presumptuous means that however I perceive something at a deep inner level, it must be carried all the way through – to the outer, physical world – intact.

I can’t allow the spirit energy to come down and be confused by me when it hits. If I have a knowing at this deep, inner level, where I can somehow have a sense of what other things require, it also means that I’m out in the open because in that space everything is known. It’s just like being an integrated part of the whole. But if I don’t catch up to the whole of it, then my shortfall is seen as deviation. The key is to get so that I’m no longer causing the deviation.

Everything flows from the top down, or from the inner to the outer, and needs to be opened up in a particular way, for a particular reason. The more we are able to open it up without deviation, the less disoriented and separated things will be.

On a microcosmic level, I’m still seeing myself as individual. To get beyond that, I have to go inside myself and open up these other levels; otherwise I’m always acting in an individual way. The view of separateness is an illusion.

I have to go inside to see the bigger picture, and then bring that all the way through to the outer. It’s like in your dream (see A Quality of Consciousness), you wanted the light switches to change the lights the whole way through, not just track something.

I’m just catching up with how, and who, and what I’m meant to do to be free of any presumption. I can’t do that unless I catch up with the higher self and bring it all the way through – I have to live it.

The dream is saying I haven’t done that yet. I’m not surrendering everything I am. It shows something in my nature is still interceding in some unconscious way. Only when I have totally let go will I have the right to look into the mirror of that which is intended (the higher self). Only when I quit identifying with the lower self completely will I get aligned.

Until then, I’m being presumptuous to think that I have any right at all, except to open my mail and my mail only (because on a larger level, it’s all my mail). I must not pay attention to anyone else’s path (mail).

If you start paying attention to anyone else’s path, how are you going to see what’s going on inside yourself? So, if I do pay attention, I’m setting myself up for consequences, and I’m not prepared yet to face those consequences.

So I had to open my eyes. It is truly that I am as a thought of God – that is how I’m to find myself. I haven’t done that yet. I will be shown from within all there is that I am to know and do. I must never forget that.  Whatever it is that I see or think about is contaminating to that; it’s an outer view.

So, this dream is saying that I’m being irresponsible. I haven’t caught up with the bigger picture yet, so everything I’m doing now is only an echo of what can be brought through. I’m not fully taking into account the bigger picture and I’m not taking full responsibility. My actions (with the mail) are still affecting others, because I don’t know who “others” are yet.

I don’t see “others” as completely myself and, because I don’t, I have no right to step into their shoes. What the dream is saying is that I’ve stepped into their shoes, and I’m not flowing properly, so I will be held accountable and have to pay the price if, in my undertaking, I’m unable to take everything into account.

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John: My dream, like yours, has to do with working with an energetic, as opposed to actually relating to or functioning in regards to the outer plane.

I see myself sitting in a bingo room. I have to find a number of items and put them in specific slots to win the contest. The slots are pretty well filled in, although there are empty ones here and there. I can’t necessarily see where all the empty slots are. What I need to relate to is an energy inside of me that has a natural knowingness – it has everything scoped and figured out.

Others in the room might have to see all the details, and check out everything, but I have a huge advantage because I can just scan the area energetically and have a knowing about it.

While sensing this I get a knowing feeling that I have everything covered, so I announce, “Bingo!”

Then I see myself pulling bits and pieces out of me that I hadn’t even noticed I had and I’m putting them into slots. I am putting something furry into a slot and I didn’t know I had something furry. It is really easy to do – it’s just like boom! Got it. I trusted it, I went with it, and it was there.

Of course I don’t always have such a direct knowingness, or such a total trust. So, what happens is that there is an indulgence zone. From my direct knowing I yelled “Bingo!” Then I had to fill the slots to prove I had what was required. That process sets in motion a slower vibration, or denseness, so that now, as I am proceeding, everything shifts, and I am going down a sidewalk.

I am riding a bicycle and to the right of me is a woman walking along. She is concealing something important that is meant to be part of the situation. Somehow she is both right there and also outside of the sidewalk. I’m riding down the center, she is to my right and now my bicycle is slowing because I’m riding through something that looks like a thick layer of salt.

But it’s not salt, it’s something connective that is holding everything together. I come to a point where I go over a little hump of it, and then it is no more. As I am doing this, I am still trying to pull together pieces and components, as in the bingo game.

But I no longer have the inner knowing, and I have to do it the usual way of trying to match things together. This woman has to deal with me and ordinarily she might not. I am heading to the place where all of the components and pieces are pulled together, and she is part of that.

When I go up and over this hump of salt-like stuff, I see there is a little storeroom and that storeroom supposedly has everything that I’ll need.

But it is closed. The woman has disappeared. That leaves me in a state of shock: I was not able to hold, inside myself, the experienciality that was working in the early part of the dream. As I left the bingo game my connection grew less and less.

Now I have to scramble to figure out how I am going to pick up those pieces again. I think, “What am I going to do? This place is closed.” Then, “Aha!  Wal-Mart is open.”

The problem is that it’s a big store and I don’t really know what I need. The storeroom would have had everything in one place, but now I’ll have to walk the aisles of Wal-Mart and hope that I know it when I see it.

Next time we’ll delve into the meaning of this journey, from knowing connection, to nearly complete disconnection, by the end of the dream.

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