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Posts Tagged ‘acceptance’

John: In my dream, I notice that when I introduce something into the scene that I can’t alter, or can’t flow with, I literally start to sweat in my sleep. In fact, there was a whole part of this dream that I can’t remember the details of, but I can feel that I was actually flowing somewhere. When I woke up, however, the part that stood out was the fact that I was sweating from it.

What I conclude from this is that as long as I’m with the flow, or maintain the flow, I’m okay. But as soon as something obstructs it, or if I continue on as if nothing has changed, denying it, that’s when I break out into a sweat. I’m having a physical reaction to the dream.

There were times during the dream that I could see that I had a lot before me – as if I was in a huge space full of things. Yet it seemed that I was able to handle it all in a natural way. I wasn’t necessarily identifying what I was coming in contact with, I was just there with it.

What I noticed then, was that the degree to which I isolated out something from the flow, that would become the problem. It’s not unlike what we saw in your dream, where you were in a huge warehouse and basically were stopped by the first item you focused on – it prevented you from getting any further.

So it’s similar for me here – I’m able to handle everything until I begin to isolate, or separate, pieces out from the whole. As soon as I do, whatever it is becomes fixed in its nature. That fixing causes me to be unable to flow with it, and feeling the stress of that blockage causes me to physically sweat.

So I find myself catapulted from a crowded, flowing space, into a vast emptiness with one particular, immovable, thing. It’s like a contamination, or something that still needs to be worked out. It causes a disturbance in me, and because I’m unable to get it to shift, or move, it causes stress.

In other words, I’m left to cope with the fact that I have no answer in terms of how to deal with this particular problem. At times I try to shift it. Other times I treat it as irrelevant in terms of the overall, expecting it to simply go away on its own. But nothing works.

My inability to resolve this causes a breakdown within; the outer manifestation of that is me sweating, as if I were running a fever.

What does all this mean? In this dream imagery I’m not actually seeing specific items, it’s more about certain energies that I’m dealing with. And what I think this process is showing me is that I’m unaccepting of certain things in me, or in life, and that creates a blockage and a great stress.

It’s interesting, because out of the huge diversity of life, whether outside of me or internally, getting hung up on certain small details that, in the scheme of things are totally irrelevant, can still bring the whole process to a halt. It’s amazing, but we’re all are doing it all the time.

What I’m being stopped by is shown to be immovable. How does one deal with immovable things? They accept them, as part of the landscape, so to speak. But for these particular aspects of life, or me, I’m not quite able to take that step – yet.

Consequentially, I react as if I have a right to dictate that something should be this way or that, instead of flowing comfortably along with what I cannot change. But the time has come for me to be okay with this trait, or condition in life, and to stop trying to think that it’s “in the way,” or needs fixing. I can’t keep generating this same reaction (sweating, in the case of the dream) over and over again.

What I’m understanding too is that this particular stumbling block has a pattern to it. It keeps coming back as some little thing. This pattern could be nothing more than being bumped into by a stranger and getting irritated. The pattern is the automatic irritation that always follows once you’ve been bumped.

How do you get to a point where someone can bump into you and you’re indifferent, or you don’t get irritated? Until you find that point, it will keep coming back over and over again. And you might even be thinking that getting irritated makes sense when someone bumps you – you might defend it. But that irritation is actually evidence that you are holding onto something, and it’s holding you back.

So this is the type of irritation I’m suffering from in my sleep. I can pretend it’s insignificant, or that it will go away, or that it can be shifted, but that isn’t facing the issue gracefully. I need to be embracing it as part of life.

I keep saying no to it, and as long as I refuse to budge, and I maintain this unshakable attitude, I’m resigned to my suffering (and sweating).

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John: I wrote up the struggle I described yesterday (Hanging On To Nothingness) as a way for me to personally say “yes.” I didn’t in the dream, so I want to, for the universe’s record as it were, say “yes” now. I also wanted to show how, in a dream, personal reactions to changes that are shown could disturb the flow. I wrote it from the standpoint of being reactive, or perhaps over-reactive. At the beginning of the dream experience it was interesting to notice that beyond the arena of reactivity, there was this greater space, waiting to be accessed. And what separated these two spaces – the greater space and the closed-down reactive space – was a personal contraction, in me, that shut off the flow that was being offered to me; it was right there.

As we have seen before in different ways, dreams often point the way forward by showing us opportunities to respond, just as happens in real life. The nature of our response affects the outcome. Strong resistance to what is being shown can become a chase dream (see The Chase Is On). But over and over we see that possibilities are presented to us, and saying “yes” to them, embracing them, allows us to make the transitions we need to make.

We can call that letting the divine come through. Any reaction, other than an acceptance or an embrace, is a form of holding on to the past. Of course, the dilemma is in believing this is so. For a human being to know how it works, when such changes are occurring from within, is rarely possible because we have our set ideas about the way things are supposed to be. And so we have to pause and look at the examples.

The first one is that the teacher never does what the student expects; to do so would be to cater to the ego and to that which is unreal. And life, which is the greater teacher, will do the same thing. And in this sense both the teacher and creation, as the greater teacher, represent the higher self on the inner level. We are veiled from creation and caught up in a cycle of birth and death in an illusory realm. And because we do not know better, we resort to lower-self experiences instead of higher-self experiences, and that choice separates us further from creation.

That’s why we tend to react personally, satisfying our need to cope based on mostly physical determinations. The higher self reaches beyond such triviality because it is at home in nothingness. Another way of saying it is that in the higher self there is the essence of nothingness, and a person is either moving toward that essence, or away from it. In moving away from it, you are choosing to be further ensnared by your personal denseness, ingrained psychologies, and innumerable trivialities. If you choose to be part of the higher process, there is the opportunity to let go of it all, once and for all.

So what I am doing in my dream is I’m staring at the denseness inside of me instead of appreciating the greater space that is coming through, and opening up, and making itself available. When I resist, I step back from the greater space and fail to welcome the divine flow as it reclaims its world. A true human being is not meant to hold onto anything, but rather be a conduit to that which is at the essence of creation. To be that conduit requires letting go of everything. Of course, in letting go of everything in service to the higher, much is gained as well.

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John: In the first dream I am sitting and trying to establish what a proper amount should be for the distribution of something. I am aware that time is ticking away as I try to feel my way to a decision. My sense is that I have to be comfortable with what that amount is before it can be sent out and  distributed. A part of me has this ability, to feel what it should be. I finally arrive at the answer, U800, which is the number of units.

Well, this decision took so much time that it would have been better if I had just picked a random number and then let it be distributed right away. It may not have been enough, but at least it would have reached some of the intended delivery points. Because now that I have given the amount, there is a person like a postman who’s in charge of making the deliveries, and I see him being totally frustrated. He is driving his truck, and as he comes to a delivery point, there is nobody there – it is desolate. It is dry like a desert. Whatever had been there may have shriveled up and died.

So the delivery man has these packages of all different sizes and he is littering them around this landscape because he has got to do his job. And the sadness of the whole situation is that this is the best that he can do. He knows deep down that it did not have to be this way, but this is what it has come to.

So that is the first dream. And you could say, well that first dream may have a lot to do with what is going on in the outer world, maybe it was triggered by the realities in the economy and the market place. Because the main idea here is that the response to the issue takes so long to get established that by the time it occurs, it is too late, everything is gone. All you see is a desolate landscape.

That was the first dream. Then the essence of that vibration repeats again, through a very mundane kind of dream.

I am in the shower, and this shower has a long stall to it and I am standing back from the direct flow of water coming out. I have only a tiny piece of soap left so I am only letting little sprinkles of water hit me. I’m allowing just enough dampness to work this little bar of soap around – trying to maximize it as best I can – to lather myself up. My eyes are closed because I don’t want to get any soap in them; I am extremely focused on just trying to do that.

Then there seems to be a man standing off to one side. He is not in the shower, but he has access to reach me. He is telling me that I have to stand under the water. “What you are doing is not doing a shower as it is intended to be done.” He is saying this to me as he reaches in and attempts to push or guide me under the shower. I am resisting and trying to say to him that I only have this little bit of soap and if I am standing under the shower the soap will all get washed off before it has cleaned in the way that soap knows how to do. I just don’t have that option. If I jump under the shower prematurely, then what about the soap, and the lathering up, and the cleansing that needs to happen? And yes, I agree that it is important to be under the shower, but what about these other issues?

So both dreams arise from a similar vibrational energy, occurring in the course of a single night’s sleep.

Though the imagery is very different, one can sense how the energy is linked because both dream sequences seem to share a sense of frustration in how things are unfolding. We will look more closely at what really links these two dreams in tomorrow’s post.

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