Absentee State

How often do we experience something that is upsetting to us, and then, at another time, experience the same circumstance, but, the second time, we don’t let it bother us? It can be felt in varying degrees in many situations. Sometimes we’ve learned and aren’t bothered anymore. Sometimes we’re just better rested, or less stressed, so it doesn’t get to us. We become more an observer of what is happening, rather than being entangled in the emotions of the events. These reactions may be mostly automatic, but this is another aspect that we can increase our conscious awareness about. When we do, we can stay neutral even in complex, emotional situations, which is better for us and anyone involved. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The sleep dream got really interesting because it threw it into a whole other curve of putting me into an absentee state from everything.

In other words, in this dream, I am introduced to be a person who has no idea of what is happening, and, thus, I am not biased by what is taking place in front of me because I have not noticed, or have anything to do with, what is happening. 

This is an interesting position to be in. I’m introduced this way, I keep my mouth shut, but, technically, as a witness, I am seeing the distinction to being able to be totally let go and free, because then I see that I’m not defined in some capacity or another, and am able to move about and appreciate the overallness by not being caught up and having to go around this way, or that, with some posture or another. 

Thus, what I see, and how I am able to come across, has a freedom that is able to open up to the in-breath. Otherwise, you’re just caught in the out-breath of things that are definitional. 

And the significance is, this is a dream about being able to let go of inhibitions and prejudgments, and, in doing so, in other words, this is a higher octave of the meditation dream in terms of using it. In other words, the meditation dream was the thrashing around. And the octave of being able to function in a world that has all this stuff going on, and able to let go of the types of inhibitions that one could possibly take on this way or that, or prejudgments that one could have this way or that, is the ability to accept the world as is.

To be able to do that enables a person to access a greater depth and freedom within, and to do so without having to go at this in some sort of confined, or defined, or oriented way to some sort of out-breath demeanor that biases the perceptions. 

So that’s the significance, and what is going on is I am describing the means of being able to witness and take in a larger perspective in life – than ordinarily possible – because I am not caught up in the situation before me, beforehand. 

Deeper meaning is, the key to experiencing the expansiveness of an in-breath is to be not lost in some out-breath abstraction. I am in the outer, but that doesn’t mean I have to submit to outer identifications for my reality. To be able to let go of such abstractions is to have an inner connectedness and overall spaciality that definitions preclude.

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A Sound from Within

Awakening can be a simple subtle shift within us, and we don’t awaken all the way, all at once. It is a gradual process that can move in small increments, or sometimes by great expansions, but only by as much as we are ready for or can handle. In this dream it is a sound that triggers the realization that there is more to the dreamer than his normal perspective. And that’s how it goes, little by little we expand ourselves into the universe. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Now, that reminds me of the second dream, because in the second dream that I had there is a corporation that I identify with whose stock is misunderstood. It seems kind of dormant and asleep; in other words, there’s just no action about it, it’s just stale. 

So as I look at the company, I’m trying to determine if there is any movement, whatsoever, for me to be able to make something out of it. And, as I look, I have a stock register that shows the trades over a sequence of time. And it has columns coming down, so I’m going back, and then this, and this, and this, and all of a sudden there is a current point in time in which I notice that there’s movement in the company.  

And I’m actually kind of surprised to see the movement, and I’m trying to determine to what degree now because in the register it says the first half and second half. So what does that mean, first half and second half? Is that a lot of movement, or a little movement, or just the start of something? 

So I study this to try to learn more about it, and determine if such activity is meaningful, or to what degree it’s meaningful. After a long history of nothing happening, whatever is going on now strikes me as something I need to catch up with, because this is an action that is still discrete, but isn’t actually below the radar screen anymore. 

And the meaning is, there is a movement from within that suggests hope, or a meaningfulness, is astir. The dream causes me to feel this as being a kind of pent-up energetic in my chest that I’m carrying in a kind of suspense. But that suspense could change; in other words, something could just break loose. 

I don’t yet know what to make out of this as I don’t have enough information to understand any parameters; just a sense that one has. In the meditation dream, I notice that I am looking at myself from a position that is removed, or I’m somehow separate from what is going on. In other words, whatever’s going on I’m separate from it – and I’m looking at myself. 

What I’m looking at is how am I going to react in the outer with regard to a projection? In looking at myself, I’m seeing myself as a projection. And what am I going to make out of this projection? In other words, I’m in the flow of the projection, it’s not like I can break the projection. And I’m just looking at this projection. 

And suddenly I hear something from another place. In other words, like something within, like a sound. And this jolts me. That is when I notice that in the outer body frame of reference, the outer of myself, which is the projective part of myself, that’s when I’m observing that that was just a projection. Until I heard that sound, I was identifying with that outer aspect. And when I heard that sound, it caused me to notice that there is a distinction of something removed from that projection.

Until I heard the sound, I believed that what I’m looking at, and what was going on in the outer, as being where I’m at. To realize that the image was but a projection, shocked me. I was caught in that hook, line, and sinker as kind of an unfoldment flow. Well I’m just amazed to see what jerked me back, because I was convinced that I was the projection. And what I notice is that – in terms of hearing this inner sound – is that it breaks me out of a kind of stupor, or trance, because I was convinced I was the image, and that that image and what was going on was what was real – and had to acted out based upon the projection. 

So by hearing an inner sound, I am noticing that this sound intervenes and interrupts the projection. So what is going on is I’m observing how I am the doer behind everything that has an actionableness about it in the outer. If I am able to stop, and let go, and take a step back into a stillness of my being, I notice that isn’t anything that’s going on, that’s just kind of a projection. 

In other words, it’s as if I have dreamt all this up. And I’m noticing that the other scenario that circumambulates is but a dream that has me, somehow or another, in its clutches. So the punchline is that in a stillness there is no projection. And when I come out of this stillness, I enter the plane of existence where projections are acted out. To act out a self-imposed projection, because I am not able to let go of an illusory sense, causes me to manufacture what isn’t real, and is out of touch with who I really am deep within. And so, I’m out of touch with who I am, where I am, and what I am.

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Transcending the Veils

Bond_of_Union_M.C. Escher
M.C. Escher

It is common to think of our journey as connecting to higher things – and, of course, there’s truth in that. Yet that higher part is also within us, our higher self. In that sense, we are trying to bring that higher part of us down into the lower, earthly, everyday, matter-of-fact lower-self of our lives. That’s the work of it, cleaning up the lower to make a space for the higher. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My dream starts off where there are these levels that somehow need to be able to be lined up, and I know I can line them up and I have to adjust my frame of thinking because I’m not used to seeing how the things come together and line up, the levels line up. And I end up seeing multiple combinations where they’re actually broken in two, and in another instance they’re not broken in two.

If they’re broken in two I don’t have quite enough hands to put it in place because one layer is inclined to drop a little beneath another layer, so it doesn’t necessarily click into place. But if it’s all on one same level or various levels, I have to adjust a certain kind of focus almost like you cross your eyes, it’s a way of seeing, in other words, by which this happens and you can’t get to where this will work or happen with your ordinary faculties. You have to kind of let go of those and then there’s a naturalness that pulls that into an intertwined connection.

And if you stop to think about it, that’s when it gets really complicated. And then it’s almost like you don’t even have enough hands to be able to do it – when otherwise it’s almost like you can almost not even touch it and you can just kind of see by kind of an osmosis nature this sort of thing coming into its natural alignment. It becomes more and more hands on the more you find yourself dwelling upon it and trying to figure it out. That’s the meditation dream.

In the main dream this approach to all of these different levels and whatnot is put into action, in which my attention though isn’t where it needs to be. It’s not so much on the levels, but in terms of what is necessary to clean up oil spills.

And these are strange kinds of oil spills in that I have one mop that I generally use that’s soaked in a particular solvent, and I guess this solvent spreads far and wide because if I take it over the area of that it soaks it right up, it puts out flames if it’s on fire or whatever the condition may be. And it’s a type of mop that I can use to do battle with forces that may even try to stop me from doing this cleanup.

And so that seems to be what I do. But then I come to see that being able to, or having a calling to, do that is one thing, being able to get to where it can be done is a whole other thing. That’s the issue. That’s the issue and that’s the dilemma of the meditation dream, was how do I take and connect this stuff together, how do I make this align together? If I think about it too much, it just goes on and on and on in its complexities.

And so in this dream I’m standing at the top of what’s like a huge interstate that’s way up off the ground in which you have the cloverleafs, and all of the different turns and curves where you have the exits, and just multiple exits dropping down to this level and that level and that level. And I’m standing at the top and I can peer down over the edge as you have this road going this way and that road going that way, and I have no idea how to get to what I can see down below – but there’s a big oil spill down there.

I could run into a lot of resistance even to try to clean this up, and so this time I decide to do it differently. Before I only used one mop soaked in solvent, this time I get two mops and I’m carrying the two of them so I can clean up any spill in between, and maybe be able to take care of that one which is where I start heading to go to.

But just because I can see it doesn’t mean I can get there, because as soon as I start to get there then I have to go these circuitous routes, and I’m going through my inner eye in terms of how I have a sense to where that’s at, and I end up at a gas station where there’s a minor cleanup. And I end up where there are trucks that have been parked and they’ve dribbled a little oil. I mean this isn’t where I’m trying to get to.

And the suspense is there: how do I get to this oil spill that I saw? How do I come down and keep coming down to the point where I finally get to what is at hand that needs to be cleaned up? In other words, that’s my challenge in terms of confronting it. In other words, this is how I deal with the levels that become like veils – because until you can go from top to bottom you could stand maybe at one point and have a sense of the higher-self being able to peer all the way down and through, but when you would start coming down you have to confront the veils and stuff, and you have to go according to some pulse that you feel inside that keeps going and going and probing and probing and probing to get there, and never get distracted to the point where you stop to clean up something that’s trivial.

Yes, you deal with the stuff to some degree, and of course one of the places I stop is this gas station and the owner there is just way too busy. All he can do is operate the business he’s so busy, so he’s real appreciative that somebody out of the blue, you know nothing compelled me to clean this up, comes in and gives him a helping hand. But he doesn’t even have time to say thank you even, but I could tell he’s real appreciative because he’s busy, busy, busy. But I’m hard pressed to get to this real spill. I can feel that inside. Now, there’s a real spill that needs and is calling me to get to to clean up before it catches fire or something.

So that’s the dream. And the little meaning I wrote about it is the challenge is that of being able to access what I am able to see in my mind’s eye and upon an inner sensation level. First I have to see through, or how to get beyond, the veils that exist.

Well, you don’t really see through the veils, so you have to sense through them. There’s something that pulls you through, pulls you along, and some of these veils are even new to me. In other words, this particular spill has caused me to suddenly have to contend with veils I hadn’t realized, or turns and twists and levels that I had never realized or recognized.

Before I used to see myself as someone that just did this, but now all of a sudden I’m having to realize that it’s one thing to do this, and it’s another thing to get there, to access it, to be able to relate to it, to be able to communicate with it or whatever it is.

And it is an issue of communication, because there was another dream inside there that I can barely remember in which the issue wasn’t the knowing, but the issue is to figure out how to communicate it so that it was understandable. Some of these veils are new to me, and I am just now figuring out how to reach through or beyond to a natural connection. In the dream this coming down and pulling together what is needed is the challenge. If I can do that, I will be transcending the veils and will be able to do what needs to be done to clean up inadvertent spills in life.

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