Posts Tagged ‘awakening to yourself’

Unfolding_SpacetimeThere are two ways for something to unfold: according to what we think is best, or according to what is best for that thing. Whether we are raising a child, or trying to bring an idea into reality, there is always an urge to control the outcome. But what we really want to do is give something new its best opportunity to fulfill itself. And this applies to a child, an idea, or an inner awakening. And deep down we know that we can’t really control things, but we can help usher the new into life in the most opportune way possible, as a service to the whole. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well, in the beginning of my dream, I seem to be at a railroad station. There’s railroad cars there, and I’m helping a young woman kind of move around from one car to another. I feel like the cars are somewhat stationary, and maybe she had gone through a loss of some kind, because I’m helping her get used to a new railroad car, even a railroad car where you might sleep.

But I know that she was used to something else in the past, a different kind of scenery, maybe a different kind of car, so I seem to be helping her adjust to the new railroad car, or focusing on what’s positive about it.

And I seem to move from one car to the other and just noticing some of the differences. And then it shifts slightly…

John: So the scene that you’re setting, initially, is the overall balance, or the overallness of the situation of life. You’re bringing in what needs to be included, or available, for purposes of a wholeness, a wholeness that is like an overall presence that you have a responsibility over, more or less the greater warehouse of yourself.

And you’re taking this in as additional information that you hadn’t been noticing, or aware of, before. What’s interesting is that you’re doing it more or less casually, almost as if you’re surveying the overall environment. In other words, you’re gathering the components, so to speak, up. You’re taking into account a bigger picture, so to speak.

There isn’t any motion yet. In other words, you’re not at that stage of the process where something then gets put together for some directive purpose or another. At this particular point, everything is a myriad of different train cars.

Jeane: In the next scene, which feels like part of the same dream, I’m kind of assisting with putting on a dance. It’s more like a ball almost. And down below there’s a man who seems to be in charge of it, and then when I go upstairs, I find a young woman who’s kind of a tomboy that’s almost hiding. She’s shy about going to the dance, and I seem to be assisting getting her interested in coming to the dance; kind of pulling her out of her shell a little.

Then I go back down to where he is, and when I look back up, she suddenly shows up ready for the dance, and she’s died her hair into this cute little blonde do, and she is wearing this formal blue dress, and she’s just really excited like someone who’s actually going to their first dance. She’s just kind of glowing all of a sudden, instead of being like this shy tomboy that was hiding out before. And that was the second part of the dream.

John: So, the first part, of course, was the establishing of an overallness, in other words, the components of one’s self. The components of one’s self, when put together as a wholeness, create an alignment and a presence that has an effect that draws what is needed for purposes of it being able to see something more about itself.

And that principle is the feminine principle of longing. So you have, first of all, the getting to a point of a type of letting go of things – which is really more of an incorporation of greater wholeness. Instead of having something that’s in the way, you’ve let go so that you can incorporate a greater presence, an overallness, as the greater beingness of yourself.

And then you are able to hold that as an energetic that is able to be accessed, or reached, or touched by the masculine principle, which draws to itself in order to set in motion a process in which something is able to occur, through this longing, that suggests a flow.

Jeane: Then, in this third part of the dream, initially, I’m taken to somebody’s church, and the first time I go to this church I just kind of notice how it is, because it has a side area where you sit, and then kind of like glass doors, and the main area facing where the preacher would talk. And then another area to the side and back, and I just seem to notice how the church is laid out the first time.

The second time I go to the church, initially, the person I’m with insists that I go into the main part of the church, up near the front, and sit on this bench next to a couple who have two little boys there.

Then they leave, but then as I look around I suddenly see that one of the young boys has this pillow, and he’s glaring at me a little, because obviously they sat me in a spot that he considered his spot, or considered important for some reason, so he and his brother are looking at me because they really want where I’m sitting for whatever reason. They had kind of claim to it, in some way. One of them is even carrying this big pillow. Maybe they were going to stretch out a bit.

So I leave that area. I go back out to the side area, and then to an area right behind it, and sitting there I notice a friend of my dad with his wife who’s kind of a bit neurotic and not very well. So I go over and I help her stand up because she needs some assistance in standing up, and getting out into the aisle, and maybe knowing where the bathroom is, so I decide that I’ll assist her. And that seems to be the end of the dreams.

John: Well, the end of the dream has to do with a quality that takes what you consider a flow, or process, that is commodious in terms of the outer state of things. That actually avoids the understanding of what it’s like to have established enough of a presence so as to have awakened, or quickened, the inner magnetism of something that is moving around, seeking to come out, which is represented by the two boys.

And the thing that’s indicated is that, in that image, there is a part of you that holds a space, but there is another part that is displaced. And so the question then becomes, how is this to be? In other words, what’s the right protocol when the part of you that is displaced doesn’t quite make its connection?

The part of you that had sat in that space is inclined to go off and contend with things in your own way – in an outer familiarity. The thing that’s hard to understand is how, and what, is involved, or required, for an insight and a natural quality of holding a space, how is it possible for something that is holding a space, and that which is an insight that has something in common with the spot, with the space, but when that space is being held, how is it possible to bring the insight and that spatiality together?

Because if you don’t bring it together, things unfold, but something anew, as an awakening and as a greater depth, doesn’t quite come across. It’s there. You can sense it there. You can tell that it’s kind of like a relationship that doesn’t quite connect, that there is the shock spark recognition almost, but still a stepping back from that, and back into a more familiar engagement process – in terms of a way in which one sees themselves in the unfoldment.

So it’s like an image of coming close to a crescendo breakthrough, but that which is anew, that which brings inner totally into outer, and is the revelation of something new, is close, but isn’t quite happening. But I mean you’re looking at it, you’re seeing it. You’re seeing that something is almost, almost there; almost took place.

It’s like a three-step deal. First came the setting of the table, so to speak, in other words getting everything at hand. Second came to holding that which is at hand, so that it could invoke something. And third came that which is invoked coming close to something more that could spark, and it was so close that it’s a wonder that it didn’t quite communicate.

And as a result of a step back from it, a familiar action, within the context of an environment that is quickened, a familiar context unfolds on the side instead.

So it’s like a depiction that’s like a harbinger of things to come. The theme being that there is kind of a harbinger of things to come, and there are abstractions yet that are just a tiny bit in the way. I guess you could say that is a bit of the theme of the dreaming.

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aur-fieldThe universe unfolds as circumstances dictate. It is never too early or too late, but responds to the needs of what is occurring. The human, in relationship to the universe, can be the same. As we make ourselves available and open energetically, then we can be seen as useful to what is unfolding – and can be called upon to help. But, of course, we have to remain open enough to respond to the nudgings, or else we won’t prove ourselves a reliable agent for what is trying to occur. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, then when I came to bed, it was like these other dreams that were there were bizarre, so I didn’t want to wake up. I was so groggy because I didn’t want to take down what I was perceiving, and seeing, because I wasn’t making any headway.

And so, at one point, I decided at least I should write up a tiny bit about it, so I says, “In what I’m dreaming, and what I’m seeing, the more effort I make in trying to gather things up, the more they get scattered.” You know, I was just not able to pull anything together, and this was physically seeing things getting scattered around me, almost as living in a world in which everything was in complete disarray.

And the meaning is that when things get scattered in a dream, in spite of the well-meaning efforts to gather things up, this denotes self-consciousness. It denotes a type of insecurity, that denotes a quality of an imbalance. But is it really an imbalance, or is it like that because that is what gets askew when something else is trying to come in, and so there isn’t the sustainability of the linearity quality that holds the outer together?

Just like you have your headaches as a consequence of there being something that you’re not allowed to hold together anymore, or that you’re having to let go to, but you’re not doing it quite, and as a consequence the headache, that attack upon the physical like that, is coming because something is sitting back there perhaps… I’m even referencing it as a type of controlled waiting. In other words, its moment is soon to arrive and, until it does, it jars and shakes things up.

That’s why it’s even said that a person needs to be careful when they get on a spiritual path like this because if they try to break the process, after some point, if they go back and they try to break the process, all havoc can break loose because they’ve set in motion an unfoldment that they may not be able to alter and, as a consequence, if they fight it and keep doing things that they know better, deep down know better, because they are repulsive to what needs to open up, that can result in some ill effects. That can result in some things occurring from the greater teacher in the outer. In other words it’s not going to be denied; the inner divine, or the beloved, is the great lover, and it’s a jealous lover or something.

So, in this last dream, I’m observing this kind of gangly looking guy. It turns out I learn he’s quite an athlete, but to begin with he just looks like he’s more spaced out than anything else. Or, in other words, more of a type of person that I would consider kind of not really plugging into things, or out of place in every situation.

However, what he can do can be surprising. For example, I’m observing a scenario in which he takes his shirt off and is able to get into a role that is before him and conduct himself incredibly, so incredibly it was like going into another zone. And in this zone his acts and moves are unconscious, because he just flows without thinking. When like that he fits in naturally to what lies before him.

What makes this all seem so incredible is up to such a point he looks out of place until he does this; he just looks like he’s just a stumble bum. And you might even see a bit of a lack of confidence or self-conscious side in him, you know, because something just is out of twang.

And the theme of the dreaming last night, the meaning, has to do with identifying a higher-self quality seeking to live itself in the myriad of things. In the meditation dream, what I am able to denote within has a life of its own that seeks to live now and override everything else. This other stuff just has to start falling away that has nothing to do with what needs to be in the unfoldment.

This inner beingness is pent up until the circumstances are appropriate for when it comes out in a flash. I say in a flash because a moment before the person can look his usual checked out and self-conscious way, because what is going on within remains repressed, and is smothered by the weight of outer conditions.

And then it’s as if something snaps and the person goes into a zone where this inner beingness predominates and outer nuances step aside. The zone is like an energetic role, that I call a beingness, which functions naturally amidst the myriad of things in the outer having, for the moment, or when the moment of a situation necessitates, set aside the outer ego loudness.

In this dream, if I hadn’t seen the shift I would have felt that the person did not know themselves, or was out of touch with who they are in life, or some other peculiarity, you know, in terms of labeling things. However, after seeing what I saw, I realize that the reason the person looked so out of it before is it took a lot of the outer denseness that predominated in his life 99.9% of the time, and so it’s hard, then, to hear that one little tiny subtle note, and yet all of this outer denseness kept the overwhelming innerness from sweeping through – yet it was moving around. It was like a little light under a bushel getting brighter and brighter.

So, in this dream, so as to not be too much to handle in the ordinary schematic of the outer, this person practiced a kind of controlled waiting. In other words, he wouldn’t reveal himself until all of a sudden – which was when it was appropriate for him to take his shirt off – that is when he engaged in a flow in which he could access this unrestricted access, or quality, within with ease. And, when he would do that, it would really be like being in a zone. And what you would be looking at would be something of a phenomenon, when before, until that occurred, you would be seeing him in some particular defined way that was meaningless.

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BBTH100ZIt may seem an impossibility to not take our lives personally; after all, everything we experience happens to us, or around us. But the understanding is more about not imposing our view on life, in terms of what the outcome looks like. We don’t resist what happens, we adapt to it.  It’s really the only approach that lessens the stress of living, anyway. Like in a dream, what unfolds around us has information and guidance for what we need to understand and grow from. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, to have this experience like this, when I went to bed, you know, it was like having watched a whole day of football. It was kind of a speeded up element that one carried. It was kind of like something that moved about, that drifted about. You were kind of swept up in the momentousness of it all.

And I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to meditate being like that and, I realized that, in order to meditate, I had to let go of that; that that was something that I look forward to experiencing and seeing where that would go and whatnot, and yet having experienced that that then had some sort of peculiar effect upon me and, in order to go somewhere in a deeper level other than just have kind of a mind wandering around or something, I had to just let go of that energetic. And I wasn’t sure that it could happen, or would happen.

And then suddenly it did. And when it did the significance, then, is I am awakening in this meditation dream to come to know a result, an inner result, to what is unfolding. The common thread to all three steps is a closeness that opens up more and more and enables me to have a greater and greater net effect upon the awakening process that seems to be evolving.

Now you don’t see that as like that to begin with. In other words, to begin with you just are kind of confused looking down, seeing this dynamic going on, and it’s going back and forth that seems to be about some object or something. And then when you come down you realize you’re the object, and then as the object having to open itself back up to the whole, you come to realize that you’re caught in this vibratory tug-o-war. And now how do you let go of all of this so it all goes back to a stillness? Or, in other words, a letting go occurs, in what is a fourth step, so that the net effect results and there being no projective aspect one way or another in terms of the process.

In other words, there’s no unfolding that is defined in a specifically designed way, in which a given result has to be aspected in manifestation, or the outer. In other words, you come to recognize that you don’t want to be left in some sort of trance, or some sort of defined overall effect, that is supported by outer cause and effect.

And so you learn to contend with those extenuating circumstances by knowing how to just let go of them. And when you do this leads, or becomes, still in terms of an emptiness and silence, and when that is able to happen it’s like the last step in what had been a fairly intense process.

So to kind of recap, looking for kind of like instead of making these statements about it, looking for like how to say it as a meaning, the journey I am describing starts from far away, becomes close, and eventually so close that the energetic vibration itself is like the creator. When I am able to let go of defined, and specifically designed, correspondence that I have, in terms of my idea of a beingness, that is when I am able to know the soul.

Until then I am unfolding as portrayed above, in the symbolic dream, through the various stages of an awakening unfoldment in which there is the pretentions of somewhere to be, and somehow to be, and something to appreciate, and something to enjoy, and things that one chooses to indulge in. And yet then it all becomes something so much more when you quit all of the indulgences and are able to suddenly experience a total space of letting go.

Then I take and I go ahead and have a dream that does that. So in the dream everyone has left the place that I own. I am left with the hay in the field that needs to be cut and, as I take and I stare at that, then my attention goes back to the yard. And then there is a person who’s packing things up and they are being careful to leave the tools and equipment behind that don’t belong to them.

In other words, there’s like a total letting go, which means I can do whatever I like with this, but there’s nothing I want to do. I do not know what to make of my state of being, in which I am unable to take what is in the outer that is before me, seriously. I’m not used to having to contend with that which has no meaningful importance to me; especially that which might have been something that I went to great effort to put together and whatnot, but then come to realize that it isn’t me.

And the sensation of the scenario is I can’t bring myself to contending with that which is released for me to use. In other words, it’s there. It’s like an outer thing. It all belongs to me, but then in the dream I can’t buy into such physical conditions, or find inside myself a frame of reference to do so.

And so I guess the meaning is it’s indicating that I am not in a frame of reference which holds onto the past. I have let go of the synaptic impressions within that had me bound. I am freed up, but for what?

It was kind of a hard dream to remember because it didn’t have the intentionality of a dream content, in other words a dream content that grabs a hold of you, in terms of its seriousness, or something.

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