Posts Tagged ‘awakening to yourself’

aur-fieldThe universe unfolds as circumstances dictate. It is never too early or too late, but responds to the needs of what is occurring. The human, in relationship to the universe, can be the same. As we make ourselves available and open energetically, then we can be seen as useful to what is unfolding – and can be called upon to help. But, of course, we have to remain open enough to respond to the nudgings, or else we won’t prove ourselves a reliable agent for what is trying to occur. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, then when I came to bed, it was like these other dreams that were there were bizarre, so I didn’t want to wake up. I was so groggy because I didn’t want to take down what I was perceiving, and seeing, because I wasn’t making any headway.

And so, at one point, I decided at least I should write up a tiny bit about it, so I says, “In what I’m dreaming, and what I’m seeing, the more effort I make in trying to gather things up, the more they get scattered.” You know, I was just not able to pull anything together, and this was physically seeing things getting scattered around me, almost as living in a world in which everything was in complete disarray.

And the meaning is that when things get scattered in a dream, in spite of the well-meaning efforts to gather things up, this denotes self-consciousness. It denotes a type of insecurity, that denotes a quality of an imbalance. But is it really an imbalance, or is it like that because that is what gets askew when something else is trying to come in, and so there isn’t the sustainability of the linearity quality that holds the outer together?

Just like you have your headaches as a consequence of there being something that you’re not allowed to hold together anymore, or that you’re having to let go to, but you’re not doing it quite, and as a consequence the headache, that attack upon the physical like that, is coming because something is sitting back there perhaps… I’m even referencing it as a type of controlled waiting. In other words, its moment is soon to arrive and, until it does, it jars and shakes things up.

That’s why it’s even said that a person needs to be careful when they get on a spiritual path like this because if they try to break the process, after some point, if they go back and they try to break the process, all havoc can break loose because they’ve set in motion an unfoldment that they may not be able to alter and, as a consequence, if they fight it and keep doing things that they know better, deep down know better, because they are repulsive to what needs to open up, that can result in some ill effects. That can result in some things occurring from the greater teacher in the outer. In other words it’s not going to be denied; the inner divine, or the beloved, is the great lover, and it’s a jealous lover or something.

So, in this last dream, I’m observing this kind of gangly looking guy. It turns out I learn he’s quite an athlete, but to begin with he just looks like he’s more spaced out than anything else. Or, in other words, more of a type of person that I would consider kind of not really plugging into things, or out of place in every situation.

However, what he can do can be surprising. For example, I’m observing a scenario in which he takes his shirt off and is able to get into a role that is before him and conduct himself incredibly, so incredibly it was like going into another zone. And in this zone his acts and moves are unconscious, because he just flows without thinking. When like that he fits in naturally to what lies before him.

What makes this all seem so incredible is up to such a point he looks out of place until he does this; he just looks like he’s just a stumble bum. And you might even see a bit of a lack of confidence or self-conscious side in him, you know, because something just is out of twang.

And the theme of the dreaming last night, the meaning, has to do with identifying a higher-self quality seeking to live itself in the myriad of things. In the meditation dream, what I am able to denote within has a life of its own that seeks to live now and override everything else. This other stuff just has to start falling away that has nothing to do with what needs to be in the unfoldment.

This inner beingness is pent up until the circumstances are appropriate for when it comes out in a flash. I say in a flash because a moment before the person can look his usual checked out and self-conscious way, because what is going on within remains repressed, and is smothered by the weight of outer conditions.

And then it’s as if something snaps and the person goes into a zone where this inner beingness predominates and outer nuances step aside. The zone is like an energetic role, that I call a beingness, which functions naturally amidst the myriad of things in the outer having, for the moment, or when the moment of a situation necessitates, set aside the outer ego loudness.

In this dream, if I hadn’t seen the shift I would have felt that the person did not know themselves, or was out of touch with who they are in life, or some other peculiarity, you know, in terms of labeling things. However, after seeing what I saw, I realize that the reason the person looked so out of it before is it took a lot of the outer denseness that predominated in his life 99.9% of the time, and so it’s hard, then, to hear that one little tiny subtle note, and yet all of this outer denseness kept the overwhelming innerness from sweeping through – yet it was moving around. It was like a little light under a bushel getting brighter and brighter.

So, in this dream, so as to not be too much to handle in the ordinary schematic of the outer, this person practiced a kind of controlled waiting. In other words, he wouldn’t reveal himself until all of a sudden – which was when it was appropriate for him to take his shirt off – that is when he engaged in a flow in which he could access this unrestricted access, or quality, within with ease. And, when he would do that, it would really be like being in a zone. And what you would be looking at would be something of a phenomenon, when before, until that occurred, you would be seeing him in some particular defined way that was meaningless.

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BBTH100ZIt may seem an impossibility to not take our lives personally; after all, everything we experience happens to us, or around us. But the understanding is more about not imposing our view on life, in terms of what the outcome looks like. We don’t resist what happens, we adapt to it.  It’s really the only approach that lessens the stress of living, anyway. Like in a dream, what unfolds around us has information and guidance for what we need to understand and grow from. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, to have this experience like this, when I went to bed, you know, it was like having watched a whole day of football. It was kind of a speeded up element that one carried. It was kind of like something that moved about, that drifted about. You were kind of swept up in the momentousness of it all.

And I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to meditate being like that and, I realized that, in order to meditate, I had to let go of that; that that was something that I look forward to experiencing and seeing where that would go and whatnot, and yet having experienced that that then had some sort of peculiar effect upon me and, in order to go somewhere in a deeper level other than just have kind of a mind wandering around or something, I had to just let go of that energetic. And I wasn’t sure that it could happen, or would happen.

And then suddenly it did. And when it did the significance, then, is I am awakening in this meditation dream to come to know a result, an inner result, to what is unfolding. The common thread to all three steps is a closeness that opens up more and more and enables me to have a greater and greater net effect upon the awakening process that seems to be evolving.

Now you don’t see that as like that to begin with. In other words, to begin with you just are kind of confused looking down, seeing this dynamic going on, and it’s going back and forth that seems to be about some object or something. And then when you come down you realize you’re the object, and then as the object having to open itself back up to the whole, you come to realize that you’re caught in this vibratory tug-o-war. And now how do you let go of all of this so it all goes back to a stillness? Or, in other words, a letting go occurs, in what is a fourth step, so that the net effect results and there being no projective aspect one way or another in terms of the process.

In other words, there’s no unfolding that is defined in a specifically designed way, in which a given result has to be aspected in manifestation, or the outer. In other words, you come to recognize that you don’t want to be left in some sort of trance, or some sort of defined overall effect, that is supported by outer cause and effect.

And so you learn to contend with those extenuating circumstances by knowing how to just let go of them. And when you do this leads, or becomes, still in terms of an emptiness and silence, and when that is able to happen it’s like the last step in what had been a fairly intense process.

So to kind of recap, looking for kind of like instead of making these statements about it, looking for like how to say it as a meaning, the journey I am describing starts from far away, becomes close, and eventually so close that the energetic vibration itself is like the creator. When I am able to let go of defined, and specifically designed, correspondence that I have, in terms of my idea of a beingness, that is when I am able to know the soul.

Until then I am unfolding as portrayed above, in the symbolic dream, through the various stages of an awakening unfoldment in which there is the pretentions of somewhere to be, and somehow to be, and something to appreciate, and something to enjoy, and things that one chooses to indulge in. And yet then it all becomes something so much more when you quit all of the indulgences and are able to suddenly experience a total space of letting go.

Then I take and I go ahead and have a dream that does that. So in the dream everyone has left the place that I own. I am left with the hay in the field that needs to be cut and, as I take and I stare at that, then my attention goes back to the yard. And then there is a person who’s packing things up and they are being careful to leave the tools and equipment behind that don’t belong to them.

In other words, there’s like a total letting go, which means I can do whatever I like with this, but there’s nothing I want to do. I do not know what to make of my state of being, in which I am unable to take what is in the outer that is before me, seriously. I’m not used to having to contend with that which has no meaningful importance to me; especially that which might have been something that I went to great effort to put together and whatnot, but then come to realize that it isn’t me.

And the sensation of the scenario is I can’t bring myself to contending with that which is released for me to use. In other words, it’s there. It’s like an outer thing. It all belongs to me, but then in the dream I can’t buy into such physical conditions, or find inside myself a frame of reference to do so.

And so I guess the meaning is it’s indicating that I am not in a frame of reference which holds onto the past. I have let go of the synaptic impressions within that had me bound. I am freed up, but for what?

It was kind of a hard dream to remember because it didn’t have the intentionality of a dream content, in other words a dream content that grabs a hold of you, in terms of its seriousness, or something.

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crackIf we think about a life in service to something higher – which is fundamental to religions and spiritual paths – we usually call up in our minds the selflessness of people such as Mother Teresa. But, as this dream points out, it doesn’t have to look like that at all. In this image we see that the privacy of the person is gone, that everything being done is seen, on an energetic level, and that there is a contract and responsibility in that relationship. Honoring that contract is what service to something higher is all about. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The only thing I remember of my dreams was seeing something like a black panther run across my vision. Then I was awake for a lot of the night. And then I had this dream where you and I were living in England, or someplace. There were a few other people that were staying with us, and some young men, and we’d recently gotten a puppy.

In addition to the puppy I think at least one of the other people had a little dog, and then there was a third little dog that was around. At one point, I went and crawled out a window that led to a ledge that was outside, and then the ledge had like two levels, and you had gone out with me.

Then you crawled onto a part of the ledge that was hard to reach, and you said that you were feeling so desperate that the only thing that was keeping you going was the puppy. And you were thinking you had to go somewhere, or go travel. And I wondered if you wanted me to go with you, but you didn’t want me to – so I was a little depressed about that. So I go back in.

Then there’s a series of things that happen. When I first go back in I go and someone else has come that has some new puppies, so all the dogs are playing together in the living room. So I’ve gone in and I’m with them, and with the guys, and playing with the dogs and the puppies. One of the people that lives with us is going to go take the dogs for a walk.

Then I’m also looking for some laundry to do, and I go into a bathroom and I realize that the window is covered with these kind of blue papers. One of them has fallen apart and I realize I can see into the window of our neighbor’s place. They’re kind of trying to cover up how they can see into ours, but then I realize I’m in the wrong room. I’m in the laundry room instead of the bathroom, that I’m a level down further than I thought I was.

Then I go back into the living room again. And a couple of Middle Eastern relatives, women, come. They come and they must have been celebrating something, like one of the girls must have had a special birthday, or event, and she’s pressing some gifts upon this girl. And they were like an engraved, it almost looked like a platinum bracelet with engraved scenes on it, and two or three other things. And then the girl had also given a gift back to her mother, or whoever else was with them.

And I was kind of studying that out, looking at what had been engraved, or carved, or given. And then I looked around for you, and I went back out; there was someone else sitting where you had been – I didn’t know where you had gone to.

John: The image of the cat running across has to do with something that has been brought to your attention. It’s like a quick glimpse. It’s not like it’s something that’s sustainable. It’s more inflective. By sustainable, I mean it’s not sustainable at this point in time. It’s more inflective. It’s more of a coming through.

An image of a black cat is a change agent kind of thing that is intended and meant to be. It can create a reaction but, even if it does create a reaction, it doesn’t change the fact of what occurred.

And then, the out-on-the-ledge business and the puppy, what that has to do with is the recognition of a quality that goes back and takes something that was inflected as a mere glimpse, progresses it forward to where it is close, like a puppy, that it is at hand to be dealt with. And that to do this requires a certain resolve, and commitment, and one has to make that commitment or they start losing a certain connection.

Which is another way of saying that things have built up in a roundabout way to the point where the reflections in the outer, that had been something that one contended with indifferently, we’ll say, are now reflections that behind those reflections is something meaningful in which one has to tie, or connect, into in terms of their being.

That requires one to align, or to contend, with a certain side of themselves. To do so, because there is a real sadness that prevails when one carries on, or conducts themselves, in a way that keeps this sort of thing in a kind of pacified state.

What that image is about in terms of the laundry room, in terms of the public area, is that what is at hand has an effect that is like a mirroring that goes both ways, with inner to outer, and outer to inner. And that there comes a point to where one’s life is no longer a type of privacy, where you have to contend with the neurosis sides of this, that, or the other of one’s nature, like one would in a bathroom you know, taking care of business kind of thing.

There comes a point in time when you’re kind of out in the open in relationship to things that are all around you, you know visually, in other words, there’s no barriers. You see, they see, it all sees. And when it’s like that, then the quality of a natural knowingness of an openness is there to take in, to be able to behold.

The fact that one dreams every night, you could even correlate that to the laundry room kind of thing, because there is a visual that’s working both ways. That’s also an image that proceeds as a flow from both a kind of light rising down to touch light, or in other words something can see in. And then light rising up to touch light, which is a seeing without; and that’s meant to be kept open.

And when it’s open it enables things to be readily there, which is the image in which there’s a mother, or? It enables that which is kind of out of reach, ordinarily out of reach, in terms of a quality of coming through awareness, it enables that to just be there. It’s just naturally there.

So you put the whole thing together and what you have is you have kind of a shock effect that relates to the fact that there is something more going on than meets the eye: the black cat. Then there’s the having to contend with the idea of whether one is going to be able to meet the challenge of what is presented, and to do so is to relate to the friendly side of yourself, not to the sides of yourself that have to contend with this, and contend with that, in which there’s still some sort of sorting out to do.

You’re working with the inner friend, and to do that you have to completely commit. You have to go out on a ledge. You have to allow things to flow. Well, when you allow things to flow, that allowing of things to flow means that you have to be in a dynamic that is different than what you’re used to being in, in which you have to be like in the laundry room where you’re seen and also see. In other words, you don’t hide, you allow everything to affect you, to touch you.

And when it’s like that, that keeps you in connection to all parts of yourself that are in the wholeness. And the Middle Eastern shows the extending out quality, expansive taking in quality, is there – and, of course, that all works in cohesiveness. There is something about that that all fits, that all comes together. And so the sum total of all of that is your oneness, is the intended oneness on a soul level of your being.

So it starts off with a flicker, and goes from a flicker to a commitment, from a commitment to a surrender, and then from a surrender to an emptiness, to an overallness. Quite a progressed dream.

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