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Posts Tagged ‘awakening to yourself’

droplet-152Living a simple life is usually imagined as one of austerity, with having only the fewest things that one needs. But that’s not really the point. Simplicity is seeing everything from one perspective, through the filter of purpose and meaning. In this way, a person doesn’t have to struggle with the many things, because when one knows who one is, and why one is here, the many things are only of passing interest and don’t clutter up our lives with their distractions. We can see things for what they are, without them affecting who and what we are. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: And then I had a series of dreams. This one dream I wrote up, I am with a person, and we go to where I am hidden from others. Now this dream, this vibrational aspect, kind of came up in regards to the stillness, and what I’m suddenly realizing, as reported in the meditation dream, that if people suddenly catch that they have to do something in terms of shifting, getting outside of how it is that they are, that they’re trapped by, that they will react to that. They won’t necessarily accept that. And because they don’t necessarily accept that, you almost have to keep this issue to yourself.

And so I find myself going to a place, a safe place, that is very simple, and doesn’t cause a concern. Stillness can cause a concern, stillness sets in motion things that act as a kind of a force of nature, in terms of the environment, because they inflect something more. And that something more can be hard for a person to take. It can create a reflective reaction that’s unpredictable.

So I see myself go to a place that is pulling myself off to one side. And in this place there’s a shower and one room, and it’s enough. And I am relieved to have found this place. In other words, at least it’s a place that I can sit with as a spot that I can occupy – as everything else around me goes on.

And so in realizing I can make do with it, I also notice it is in an isolated part of kind of an energetic town, or an area of town where there’s not a lot going on to cause a lot of unnecessary vibratory attention or something. So it’s in a place where to whatever degree maybe something has been stirred up, it’s not inclined to look for me there.

But I also have to go a distance with the companion who accompanied me here, so that he can go back, or find his way to where he needs to be, and where he has yet to cope. And that’s more out in the open; but it’s okay because no one is directly looking for him. But I still am concerned that he knows where I went to be still. But, I also know, if he remains hidden, in terms of how he carries himself, he won’t stir something up like a force of nature and he’ll be safe.

Now when I am back at this place, because I don’t have him, I get confronted with the dilemma of having to take on a roommate, and the reason that I argue that I have to do that is because this place has a shower in it that I wasn’t anticipating having the need for. I don’t know how I thought I was going to cope. And I don’t have a towel to use, and so I’m feeling that I need to have someone there that brings in the towels.

And then I wake up contemplating what other sacrifices I am going to make do with, in terms of involving and having to contend with parts of myself that are pushed aside, or are separate, in terms of this idea of trying to be alone with myself

And the meaning is that there are all these parts of myself, there’s the part in which I traveled to a hiddenness within, and you don’t just take and withdraw with that from the world, and so I need to kind of work with that, and accompany that; it’s like a shadow aspect of myself in terms of the wholeness.

But now I’m kind of doing some sort of herky-jerky where maybe I do it up to a degree, but not all the way through. And then that means that when I try to hold to the stillness, there’s still something affecting me, in which I’m not getting off my back. In other words, you function anew not by taking and obliterating things that you’re meant to pull in as a wholeness.

So the significance is, this dream is in a response to the sensation vibration of how do I function when my nature and beingness becomes something that is, by its way of holding a stillness, from the stillness the vibrations that exist around it are affected?

And this is one of the first dreams in which I look to contend with the energetic. Now I’m contending with it by trying to push away from it, which can lead to a spiritual illusion – which is shown in the next dream.

But, in this dream, I find myself coming up with the idea that the problem is that I am not taking into account the greater interconnected beingness. The connection may be grounded in the simplicity of life, and I must let go of creature comforts to stay simple in order to include others as part of myself. But to sustain this simplicity, the dilemma that I’m confronted with, that I haven’t broken out of it’s amnesia because what caused me to have to do this was an overexposure, and now, can I go the other way and not let them know anything other than what somehow leaks out inflectively?

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ngd110We may resolve in ourselves to be less silently critical, or judgmental, toward others, because of what it causes in us, which is a disconnection from whatever inner elevation we have attained. But we may also realize that when we are silently sending energetic darts at others, we prevent them from being their best self. The energy we radiate to others triggers their psychologies and defense mechanisms, but we want to let others be free of those triggers so that they can be more natural to themselves. Do we know what is possible for ourselves and others without the constant outplay of old psychologies? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the main dream, there’s the way something can look and come to energetically be on its own, but when affected by something more, so that it wakes up, it is amazing at how it can be.

So, in other words, we’re basically talking the very first step in a process where something is attempting to emerge, and can even have a dharma and whatnot, it’s amazing how that can be, and what it can do, and so on. I mean you can look at it in kind of a black-and-white way, and then see how that, when it’s affected and moved in certain ways, wakes up and is able to come across in a more meaningful dynamic. But it still is an unfoldment, or a dharma.

And then you can see that when this quality, when it is activated, it will make the difference in how it is something is able to be seen. For example, there is a wall that has been there for a long time. It’s kind of like a wall which has a lot of little mirrors on it, little squares and such, and you glance at it and just accept it, okay, that’s the wall. It comes to its corner, and goes around a bend. It’s a neat little wall, but nothing that there’s nothing alive of necessarily a lie. It serves its purpose. It’s a neat little wall, but there’s nothing alive about it. It serves its purpose, which means that this wall is seen, in a set way, by everyone when they come into the room.

Yet I am able to simply glance at it and can know what there is that is missing in the atmosphere. So, in the image, I can see that what makes it all dance, or have a greater meaningfulness, or a greater essence of inflection, is that on the corner there can be like a larger mirror that tends to make the place come alive. Without that, the place comes across in a common way that is easy to take for granted. What I am able to see is, in a simple glance, with a quickened beingness, infuses the place vibrationally.

When I see it, I am able to exude an image presence, so that when I point out what it is to others, they are swept up in that atmosphere and are able to see this as well.

So therein comes the challenge. The challenge is: how am I able to see what can be? And am I able to hold the focus so that others, in my presence, are able to see it, too? And I come to notice that when I waiver, they will have their way of seeing in an aspect of the atmosphere, but not necessarily the full clarity.

So what’s interesting is what is right here, because if it is an area, or an atmosphere, where things are naturally quickened, and there just needs to be a tiny bit of inner reflective presence, what I can see I have to let go of a little bit because, added to the situation, is far more than where I am at in the atmosphere of something that is quickened and touched. In other words, that’s where things multiply in terms of coming together in a oneness.

Generally that is not the case, however, because it’s hard to come together in a communion, or a oneness, so a more quickened condition to an inner flow that is able to emanate from within, tends to function almost in a vacuum, instead of intertwined, or interactive. But then there are times when it doesn’t, and I can never really know what to expect until a person is put into, they’re put into the heart, into my heart, to awaken within to a oneness of being of themselves, in which, when that happens, everything is transformed; they’re transformed, I am transformed, through whatever the interconnectivity is meant to be.

So, I have skipped a step. This is a very deep third step. And what I describe in part one is, first there is the atmosphere. And what I’m describing is actually part three, and I need to go back and describe part one, is that there is the placing within my heart, the intertwined atmosphere that enables a whole new level of overall beingness to come across and in a way that goes way beyond the linear portrayal – almost a three-dimensional unfoldment.

In other words, how else do you describe something that’s quickened, and as that quickening is an atmosphere in which the perceptions are something anew, or awakens to much more as an aliveness invoked by the stillness essence coming more into itself.

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In spiritual development, going deeper inside is a way of describing what it feels like to move our center of gravity from the outer, physical world, to the world of energetic connections. And these connections are considered subtle, to begin with, because they are usually drowned out by the noise of external considerations and personal involvement. Yet, as we proceed, quietening the noise of ourselves, what is subtle will become much louder to us, and become the intelligence we turn to rather than using only our brain. This level is a connected, guided life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my particular case I got a glimpse of it, and that’s what screwed me up in meditation, and then everything was just all haywire in terms of the dreams.

In the meditation dream I appear to be asking the question: is there another level of consciousness that I have no sense about? I sense that this must be so, as a furtherance of the reason for manifestation and the illusionary struggles, the reason why they’re there, because you can look at all the stuff in manifestation and then you could see that it’s about something.

So I experience a glimpse of the greater letting go stillness, that I am aware exists, at the interval of the breath. So this is typical stuff. This is my usual pattern. I’m back to looking at this because, is there something more? And this, for me, has been as good as it gets as far as I know, but still I’m wondering about this, about there being more, as I notice that in spite of that there is still the reaching further within, when the outer that is in a dire straight is exemplified. In other words, where you have to take responsibility for it. If you don’t take responsibility for it, you can kind of move that way.

For a split second I get a glimpse of something I had never taken into account before. In other words, it was like a level of being, a quality of being, that I couldn’t put any parameters, I couldn’t put my finger on, and, as a consequence, it really throws you haywire. And so I was baffled, and bewildered, and had no context. I’m talking about it in kind of a denial way, but what it does is it makes you almost crazy, immediately; you just can’t look at it. You have to drop it immediately. You have to dismiss it because it’s too hard on the circuits, or, as I put it, I had to let it go because it was too much.

The idea that there is yet another aspect of being, which is even subtler than what I currently sense in regards to the breath, was too much for me to accept. I mean I couldn’t get a handle on it at all. It just went kapoof. It blew all of that. It was like a shift from all that had been.

So I lack a context for this at this time. In order for this to exemplify an even deeper depth to the denseness, in other words, that’s what this is kind of like, in order to take something to a dire extreme, like the perspective of peace in the world or something like that, which, deep down, one knows is helpless, in order to be a hold to that you have to have this quality somewhere within, that is ordinarily, if you don’t do it, too sensitive, and subtle to catch up with, or to make itself known.

To make sense of things, in a non-crazed way, it would seem that within a greater indulgence into the reflective outer, which normally leads to a greater delirium, but when you can go into that and hold something deeper yet inside, the only way you can go more into the outer and indulge more in the outer is to have this other that better be there, the subtler quality of your beingness, because otherwise you just dismiss things that you see in the outer as reckless and foolhardy.

Thus, the deeper truth behind tipping at windmills, in terms of a being, is a deeper calling and aspect of our nature. If it’s not awakened, you don’t do it, because your common sense and your mental understanding of things keeps you from going into things that are futile. You have to sense, or know, that a greater moreness, or awareness, or quality of subtleness that’s latent within, you have to have a sense of that to do it, because, rationally speaking, based upon the way I am observing things at this time, and, of course, trying to do that in cohesion with the breath – it will make no sense.

So there is the something else isn’t there, and how is it taught? How do you teach that? So to repeat, all of this musing is because I glimpse something subtler that I had never seen, as an aspect within, and had to drop it as it was too much, too destabilizing, and invoked a going crazy insanity.

Scenario: I’m theming along the lines of putting into my heart a denser outer that I dismiss as hopeless. This is not consciously possible without this other subtler beingness embodied simultaneously. So that’s the meditation dream. Isn’t that odd?

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