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Posts Tagged ‘awakening to yourself’

awq243If we understand that everything is, fundamentally, an energy, we can realize that every moment of our lives we are processing the energies of the things we come in contact with, the things we think about, or dwell upon, and the waves of energies coming from the world around us. And just like our body processes the food we eat into useful proteins and nutrients, and then discards the toxins, our entire system is doing this with the energies that we encounter. We have to have this processing out, or we would become poisonous to ourselves. It is useful to realize this when we have a flare-up of anger, or frustration, or any negative emotion, because when we are conscious of the process, we can flush these energies from our systems much more quickly. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: My dreaming last night just felt kind of mundane. It felt like I was searching for something, and it might just be something like I have a nephew’s wedding coming up, and I’m not sure where the wedding is, or where they’ve sent the invitation. And it feels like I’m talking with my dad, and I’m trying to figure out where we’re supposed to go.

But the sensation is more like there’s something that I’ve kind of lost, and I’m searching for where it is, and, at one point, I know that there’s cars that come down the road that are these old-fashioned cars that have like the great big bumpers, and one time they’re black, and another time they’re red. I think the red and black are on opposite sides of the road, or going opposite directions.

I just remember that it seemed like mundane details, like trying to figure out where somebody was, or what they were going to be doing, or where I was supposed to go. And I don’t remember a lot more besides that because it was just kind of more of a sensation thing last night, kind of something lost in trying to figure out how to figure it out.

John: Which is similar to your dream the night before. In other words, whatever that was about didn’t quite come all the way through, in terms of an understanding, or a clarity, for you. In that the quality of what you are holding onto, as a way of being, is like a swarm of embodiment in which you take account of, or hold, a responsibility towards the pulling through of something.

This is like an odd paradox. In other words, you pull something through in order to awaken something inside of yourself. It’s very similar to what Rene does. So Rene takes and she, through a quality of sensitivity, and subjectivity, of her nature that has to do with a kind of an awakened awareness, on a heightened, subjective level, she pulls through, she can sustain and pull through, and hold onto, imbalances that need to be softened and accommodated.

When she pulls this stuff through, what she’s doing is she’s actually pulling through rubbish mannerisms, like thought-upon-thought kind of thing. She’s pulling all of that through. And then she’s discarding it. She’s throwing it out. Now she has to pull it through, because this is the same nature that you’re trying to describe inside yourself: you have to pull this through in order to be able to catch up with a greater essence of yourself.

So what you’re describing is you’re describing kind of a condition of the way a certain quality of light has to open up, within matter. First of all, it has gotten into the matter as a result of it having been dumbed-down, or impacted, by intensity issues. And then, as it comes to recognize, realize, that it has this other quality with inside of itself, the light imbedded in the matter, the completeness, how does it then catch up with that without suddenly floating away, so to speak?

It’s better to be able to be in the heart, but to be in the heart is to be smashed and blasted, to a certain degree, by the way of things.

So what you were dreaming is you were influenced by what took place yesterday, and you were using all of that as the scenario, and you were finding yourself scoping around in relationship to that.

Now one of the things that you always say to me, even though you may not necessarily know that, is that you want me to not be so obtuse, or removed, or distant or something, or walk around in kind of a head space. If I do that, then that cuts something off from you. That cuts off something in terms of a connection that you have to have in order to find the right kind of rapport, in which what opens up inside of you is able to open up and have its inclusiveness with things.

You started on this yesterday, and you kind of needled the issue yesterday, and now you’re coming back to it, in terms of pulling it down with a heightened acuity.

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aws232It is nearly impossible to make a spiritual journey and never experience spiritual doubt. After all, we are asking our brain and all our systems to let go of the physical reality that sits before us, and to put our whole trust into unseen aspects of life. No matter how strong our belief is, we will be tested. Yet it is just these tests that can deepen our belief, if we don’t derail ourselves completely, by helping us to realize that, without our beliefs, what we are left with is an emptiness that is unquenchable. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: I also had something that kind of sat in a limbo, and so not really a meditation dream, per se. In other words, I was grappling with thought-upon-thought upon the plane of manifestation. It’s as if I had chosen to try to play act in this thought-upon-thought, as if there’s a way of finding relief that way, but I wasn’t able to do that because I know this to be futile.

And I tried and tried, as if, maybe, I had missed something, somehow, and that there really was a way to go somewhere this way. You could say this was like a due diligence dream, in other words, going back to see if you actually were too adamant or something, when I adopted the idea that manifestation, being a plane of sound, is just a thought-upon-thought reality. And, is there something more to it?

In other words, it’s an aspect, it’s a part, per se, in and of itself. It’s just thought-upon-thought, but I had to kind of go back and re-look at it. And so I was trying to prove, in a contrary way, a validness that, deep down, I knew didn’t exist.

And it’s kind of an approach. The reason why I was able to take this approach, and go back and do this, is because that’s my pattern. That’s the approach that I took a long time ago. I basically decided, like I say, by being familiar it’s the pattern in which you kind of, so to speak, go down the Jinn side of things into life, instead of stay in the angelic.

Or, you could say, it’s a type of declaring war on God, so to speak, by stepping on the momentum gas and project thought-upon-thought into the unknowingness plane of manifestation, pretending that I could sort out such a delirium – even though deep down to do so was to step upon a better judgment, in which I knew I was probably in trouble in having taken such a step, and, therefore, found myself in kind of a type of controlled waiting game.

In other words, there’s nothing I can do about it, that’s how I find myself. Once I did it, now I have to contend with it; to live it. So everyone was in their own way, when I look at others now and everything else around me, they’re all acting up as if there was something meritorious to be found in such an approach.

So instead of being odd man out or something, I threw away an inner sense of apprehension and went out into the outer flow, and, in doing so, I kept telling myself that the apprehensiveness within was getting in the way of the momentum in my thoughts. In other words, I really knew that all those who had gone before me in this way had failed, but perhaps this time I would make it work, being a God upon myself, and not let the projection of others about a higher-self phase me.

In other words, it’s like those kinds of mannerisms that people have, that they project, are kind of like an opium of the masses. That’s what religion is. That’s what I concluded, and so even on higher-self levels I concluded that it didn’t necessarily go anywhere. So this attitude, this demeanor, resulted in a battering and stabbing of the heart, knowing that something was going to have to rescue me from my plightful research project.

I knew I was lost and was messing about deliriously, so to speak, as a kind of price of readmission, in which I was going to keep on keeping on until it was proven to me the jig was up.

I’m basically describing how I came about making the Jinn side choice of the breath, and how I pushed the angelic side in the corner. The thought I held onto was that if there was something to the angelic side, it would have to prove itself to me – and I could wait. I would just wait to see.

If it didn’t, it didn’t. It’s not up to me, because I ended up coming out of the Jinn side, so you can’t go back the same way you came down. So I was going to deny the manifested environment. In other words, I find myself in kind of the plane of manifestation, in that environment, and so I wasn’t going to deny that. I was going to just go ahead and be purgatoried into it and give it the opportunity to prove itself.

So I plunged into thought-upon-thought, as if there was a missing piece, or way to find a stillness in the center of it all, when deep down knowing that such efforts would just be for naught, given the fact I was purposely here.

In other words, once I had done it I don’t go back with the same kind of Jinn approach. So it took me a long time to realize that I was always stabbing the heart when I dabbled with reflective thought, this being analogous to how smoke is a veil from the flame. To redeem and forgive, I found this to also be analogous to turning to the flame.

Or, said another way, I found that to truly be in the magnetism of an all-pervading breath I had to be with a heartfulness, free of thought, seeking to abide therein. Apparently I had to go on a sound-level journey into manifestation to consciously realize that the thought plane level is a bifurcation that veils the heart from truly seeing and hearing.

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25262976 - yin yang humanWe are all the characters in our dreams, males, females, the young and the old. Or, in this case, the naked and the clothed. And these interactions speak of the relationships between different aspects of our inner life, always with the goal in mind to find a connection and a flow. Yet here, what is expressed in an unvarnished way by the masculine, proves too much for the feminine to handle. So there is work to be done on both sides to bring them together in a workable way. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: It starts off, in the meditation dream, where I have a lot of frustration and struggle to contend with. That’s my way of saying that I reverbed, and I reverbed, and I reverbed in terms of trying to cause something very simple to be obviously known.

Because, in the dream, I have the assignment of revealing an inner invisible substance to an outer that requires proof in a tangible way; in other words with the ordinary senses. And there is a lot of frustration because there is nothing I can do to make this as visible, to those in the outer, as it is to me as an inner vibrational presence.

So what is going on is, I have caught up with a subtle vibration that I am able to tell affects the outer in a profound way. I notice this so much, vibrationally, that for me this is like a seeing. For others, that I am trying to make this known to, because they aren’t experiencing the vibration resonating within themselves, like I do, their visibility is kind of in a dense, or black-and-white way, and, as a result, this leaves me at a loss in revealing to them this ever-present way. In other words, it’s a flow, its ever-present way.

So then, when I come to bed, I come out of where I am staying. In my dream now, it’s like there’s a place next to something that’s like a quaint café. And in this quaint café there’s a proprietor, a woman proprietor. And when I come out of the house I just walk 40, 50 feet or something, along the sidewalk, and then there’s something in the middle of the fence area, along the sidewalk, before I walk up. And there’s actually a little outer area there where, you know, you have tables where you can eat outside on a deck, and stuff like cafés have, and she’s out there doing something with the tables to get them ready, and she hasn’t yet opened for the day.

So I come up along the side near the bottom, about the middle area of the fence area, and suddenly I realize I’m naked, which is the case that happens when I’m carrying an energy that is out of place in the ordinary sense of reality. The naked condition is over and over again. I see it as okay, and I act as if it’s okay, but once in a while I realize, you know, I’ve got to quit acting like everybody has to accept this.

So, as I come around the corner to where she’s at, kind of crept right up on her, and then I shield myself against a wall there because, all of sudden, I realize I’m naked and I’ve got to be careful how I come across, I ask if it is too early. She is mumbling to herself, and the inference has to do with something somewhere else bothering her.

As she sees me, she says, “I am so upset.” I say, “Did I do something to make you upset?” Deep down I know it is something else, but that’s just being polite. And then there is a sudden jump up energetic pulsation through my body, because I actually know that this has to do with her not being able to take in a certain flow that’s meant to come through, in an inner way. But I can’t tell her that. And, in this particular case, it has to do with somewhere, or something else, or however. And all the time know that her upsetness has to do with something she’s identifying somewhere else, yet I find it to be a curiosity, in a revealing sort of way, which requires me to be a support.

She says, “I will be right back,” as she has to contend with something bothering her inside, and has to go somewhere else to deal with it, because she was actually kind of going a little catatonic mumbling away to herself as she was cleaning the tables up.

So what is going on is, in this dream, although I am acting nonchalant, even though this doesn’t make sense to others, I am moving about in sync with an energetic, that is afoot in life, affecting others who are not able to sort it out. To me it is more visible. To them it is a frustration and discombobulation.

Until it is processed through, I just need to hold an empty space as this is the only way I know to support those who are going through things in the outer – unaware of a vibrational effect that is an inner unfoldment process affecting them from within.

Until there is a stop to let go; in other words, you have to quit the doingness. You have to kind of find that you have nothing that you absolutely have to do, because we fill every second in the outer with things that we have to do, and that prevents us from catching up with this flow, which comes from an emptiness. So until there is a stop, to let a flush-through to a shift in beingness occur, I and others who act this way are running from an inner awakening.

In other words, you’re acting on your frustration as a blockage, as a denial, as a veil that keeps you too busy to notice within. The answer is to let it flow, and accept the effect. And, when you do that, that’s when something intangible can happen. That’s when it’s a type of stillness in which there is a light substance now, that works, or help from wherever at a depth with wherever.

That’s just how it is until there is a full stop to face the energetic. Or, in other words, are you really facing the energetic? To a large degree, we face energetics by trying to understand that; that’s what psychology’s all about, to try to go back to where maybe it came from. But a higher octave of that is you just let the inner come into the outer, and the transitional shift is no longer kept at bay then.

So, what I’m describing is the way the inner higher-self vibratoriness makes its secret substance noticeable to our outerness of self. We must stop our doing in order to accept the vibrational impact; in order for the vibrational effect to make itself known from the greater emptiness space of our overall beingness. Only when we are still can our overall vibrational aliveness and beingness settle, as an insightfulness from within, into the manifestedness of a self in the outer.

So, as an observation, whenever you come across someone who’s acting really, really busy and all of that stuff, and doesn’t have time to pause for a split second, is constantly a go, go, go, go, that is a type of person who is keeping the inner from touching the outer.

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