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Posts Tagged ‘awakening to yourself’

ngd110We may resolve in ourselves to be less silently critical, or judgmental, toward others, because of what it causes in us, which is a disconnection from whatever inner elevation we have attained. But we may also realize that when we are silently sending energetic darts at others, we prevent them from being their best self. The energy we radiate to others triggers their psychologies and defense mechanisms, but we want to let others be free of those triggers so that they can be more natural to themselves. Do we know what is possible for ourselves and others without the constant outplay of old psychologies? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the main dream, there’s the way something can look and come to energetically be on its own, but when affected by something more, so that it wakes up, it is amazing at how it can be.

So, in other words, we’re basically talking the very first step in a process where something is attempting to emerge, and can even have a dharma and whatnot, it’s amazing how that can be, and what it can do, and so on. I mean you can look at it in kind of a black-and-white way, and then see how that, when it’s affected and moved in certain ways, wakes up and is able to come across in a more meaningful dynamic. But it still is an unfoldment, or a dharma.

And then you can see that when this quality, when it is activated, it will make the difference in how it is something is able to be seen. For example, there is a wall that has been there for a long time. It’s kind of like a wall which has a lot of little mirrors on it, little squares and such, and you glance at it and just accept it, okay, that’s the wall. It comes to its corner, and goes around a bend. It’s a neat little wall, but nothing that there’s nothing alive of necessarily a lie. It serves its purpose. It’s a neat little wall, but there’s nothing alive about it. It serves its purpose, which means that this wall is seen, in a set way, by everyone when they come into the room.

Yet I am able to simply glance at it and can know what there is that is missing in the atmosphere. So, in the image, I can see that what makes it all dance, or have a greater meaningfulness, or a greater essence of inflection, is that on the corner there can be like a larger mirror that tends to make the place come alive. Without that, the place comes across in a common way that is easy to take for granted. What I am able to see is, in a simple glance, with a quickened beingness, infuses the place vibrationally.

When I see it, I am able to exude an image presence, so that when I point out what it is to others, they are swept up in that atmosphere and are able to see this as well.

So therein comes the challenge. The challenge is: how am I able to see what can be? And am I able to hold the focus so that others, in my presence, are able to see it, too? And I come to notice that when I waiver, they will have their way of seeing in an aspect of the atmosphere, but not necessarily the full clarity.

So what’s interesting is what is right here, because if it is an area, or an atmosphere, where things are naturally quickened, and there just needs to be a tiny bit of inner reflective presence, what I can see I have to let go of a little bit because, added to the situation, is far more than where I am at in the atmosphere of something that is quickened and touched. In other words, that’s where things multiply in terms of coming together in a oneness.

Generally that is not the case, however, because it’s hard to come together in a communion, or a oneness, so a more quickened condition to an inner flow that is able to emanate from within, tends to function almost in a vacuum, instead of intertwined, or interactive. But then there are times when it doesn’t, and I can never really know what to expect until a person is put into, they’re put into the heart, into my heart, to awaken within to a oneness of being of themselves, in which, when that happens, everything is transformed; they’re transformed, I am transformed, through whatever the interconnectivity is meant to be.

So, I have skipped a step. This is a very deep third step. And what I describe in part one is, first there is the atmosphere. And what I’m describing is actually part three, and I need to go back and describe part one, is that there is the placing within my heart, the intertwined atmosphere that enables a whole new level of overall beingness to come across and in a way that goes way beyond the linear portrayal – almost a three-dimensional unfoldment.

In other words, how else do you describe something that’s quickened, and as that quickening is an atmosphere in which the perceptions are something anew, or awakens to much more as an aliveness invoked by the stillness essence coming more into itself.

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In spiritual development, going deeper inside is a way of describing what it feels like to move our center of gravity from the outer, physical world, to the world of energetic connections. And these connections are considered subtle, to begin with, because they are usually drowned out by the noise of external considerations and personal involvement. Yet, as we proceed, quietening the noise of ourselves, what is subtle will become much louder to us, and become the intelligence we turn to rather than using only our brain. This level is a connected, guided life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my particular case I got a glimpse of it, and that’s what screwed me up in meditation, and then everything was just all haywire in terms of the dreams.

In the meditation dream I appear to be asking the question: is there another level of consciousness that I have no sense about? I sense that this must be so, as a furtherance of the reason for manifestation and the illusionary struggles, the reason why they’re there, because you can look at all the stuff in manifestation and then you could see that it’s about something.

So I experience a glimpse of the greater letting go stillness, that I am aware exists, at the interval of the breath. So this is typical stuff. This is my usual pattern. I’m back to looking at this because, is there something more? And this, for me, has been as good as it gets as far as I know, but still I’m wondering about this, about there being more, as I notice that in spite of that there is still the reaching further within, when the outer that is in a dire straight is exemplified. In other words, where you have to take responsibility for it. If you don’t take responsibility for it, you can kind of move that way.

For a split second I get a glimpse of something I had never taken into account before. In other words, it was like a level of being, a quality of being, that I couldn’t put any parameters, I couldn’t put my finger on, and, as a consequence, it really throws you haywire. And so I was baffled, and bewildered, and had no context. I’m talking about it in kind of a denial way, but what it does is it makes you almost crazy, immediately; you just can’t look at it. You have to drop it immediately. You have to dismiss it because it’s too hard on the circuits, or, as I put it, I had to let it go because it was too much.

The idea that there is yet another aspect of being, which is even subtler than what I currently sense in regards to the breath, was too much for me to accept. I mean I couldn’t get a handle on it at all. It just went kapoof. It blew all of that. It was like a shift from all that had been.

So I lack a context for this at this time. In order for this to exemplify an even deeper depth to the denseness, in other words, that’s what this is kind of like, in order to take something to a dire extreme, like the perspective of peace in the world or something like that, which, deep down, one knows is helpless, in order to be a hold to that you have to have this quality somewhere within, that is ordinarily, if you don’t do it, too sensitive, and subtle to catch up with, or to make itself known.

To make sense of things, in a non-crazed way, it would seem that within a greater indulgence into the reflective outer, which normally leads to a greater delirium, but when you can go into that and hold something deeper yet inside, the only way you can go more into the outer and indulge more in the outer is to have this other that better be there, the subtler quality of your beingness, because otherwise you just dismiss things that you see in the outer as reckless and foolhardy.

Thus, the deeper truth behind tipping at windmills, in terms of a being, is a deeper calling and aspect of our nature. If it’s not awakened, you don’t do it, because your common sense and your mental understanding of things keeps you from going into things that are futile. You have to sense, or know, that a greater moreness, or awareness, or quality of subtleness that’s latent within, you have to have a sense of that to do it, because, rationally speaking, based upon the way I am observing things at this time, and, of course, trying to do that in cohesion with the breath – it will make no sense.

So there is the something else isn’t there, and how is it taught? How do you teach that? So to repeat, all of this musing is because I glimpse something subtler that I had never seen, as an aspect within, and had to drop it as it was too much, too destabilizing, and invoked a going crazy insanity.

Scenario: I’m theming along the lines of putting into my heart a denser outer that I dismiss as hopeless. This is not consciously possible without this other subtler beingness embodied simultaneously. So that’s the meditation dream. Isn’t that odd?

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awq243If we understand that everything is, fundamentally, an energy, we can realize that every moment of our lives we are processing the energies of the things we come in contact with, the things we think about, or dwell upon, and the waves of energies coming from the world around us. And just like our body processes the food we eat into useful proteins and nutrients, and then discards the toxins, our entire system is doing this with the energies that we encounter. We have to have this processing out, or we would become poisonous to ourselves. It is useful to realize this when we have a flare-up of anger, or frustration, or any negative emotion, because when we are conscious of the process, we can flush these energies from our systems much more quickly. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: My dreaming last night just felt kind of mundane. It felt like I was searching for something, and it might just be something like I have a nephew’s wedding coming up, and I’m not sure where the wedding is, or where they’ve sent the invitation. And it feels like I’m talking with my dad, and I’m trying to figure out where we’re supposed to go.

But the sensation is more like there’s something that I’ve kind of lost, and I’m searching for where it is, and, at one point, I know that there’s cars that come down the road that are these old-fashioned cars that have like the great big bumpers, and one time they’re black, and another time they’re red. I think the red and black are on opposite sides of the road, or going opposite directions.

I just remember that it seemed like mundane details, like trying to figure out where somebody was, or what they were going to be doing, or where I was supposed to go. And I don’t remember a lot more besides that because it was just kind of more of a sensation thing last night, kind of something lost in trying to figure out how to figure it out.

John: Which is similar to your dream the night before. In other words, whatever that was about didn’t quite come all the way through, in terms of an understanding, or a clarity, for you. In that the quality of what you are holding onto, as a way of being, is like a swarm of embodiment in which you take account of, or hold, a responsibility towards the pulling through of something.

This is like an odd paradox. In other words, you pull something through in order to awaken something inside of yourself. It’s very similar to what Rene does. So Rene takes and she, through a quality of sensitivity, and subjectivity, of her nature that has to do with a kind of an awakened awareness, on a heightened, subjective level, she pulls through, she can sustain and pull through, and hold onto, imbalances that need to be softened and accommodated.

When she pulls this stuff through, what she’s doing is she’s actually pulling through rubbish mannerisms, like thought-upon-thought kind of thing. She’s pulling all of that through. And then she’s discarding it. She’s throwing it out. Now she has to pull it through, because this is the same nature that you’re trying to describe inside yourself: you have to pull this through in order to be able to catch up with a greater essence of yourself.

So what you’re describing is you’re describing kind of a condition of the way a certain quality of light has to open up, within matter. First of all, it has gotten into the matter as a result of it having been dumbed-down, or impacted, by intensity issues. And then, as it comes to recognize, realize, that it has this other quality with inside of itself, the light imbedded in the matter, the completeness, how does it then catch up with that without suddenly floating away, so to speak?

It’s better to be able to be in the heart, but to be in the heart is to be smashed and blasted, to a certain degree, by the way of things.

So what you were dreaming is you were influenced by what took place yesterday, and you were using all of that as the scenario, and you were finding yourself scoping around in relationship to that.

Now one of the things that you always say to me, even though you may not necessarily know that, is that you want me to not be so obtuse, or removed, or distant or something, or walk around in kind of a head space. If I do that, then that cuts something off from you. That cuts off something in terms of a connection that you have to have in order to find the right kind of rapport, in which what opens up inside of you is able to open up and have its inclusiveness with things.

You started on this yesterday, and you kind of needled the issue yesterday, and now you’re coming back to it, in terms of pulling it down with a heightened acuity.

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